I am currently delving into a deeper understanding of the true meaning of the cross of Christ, how it relates to salvation and how it reveals God's heart.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Subjection or Loyalty?

If I do not subject myself willingly to God as my supreme authority first of all and on a daily, hourly basis, then other authorities will impose themselves on me by force sooner or later and I will become enslaved by the fear that they will use to control me. I will become self-centered, desperate, resentful and bitter and I will likely blame my problems on God and on those around me. But doing so will only be like fighting in quicksand as it will suck me deeper into the deadly trap of fear which is exactly the plan of the enemy and many of the ministers of wrath that God allows to represent authority on this earth.

The only hope anyone has to rise above the ugliness and darkness of earthly perversions of authority is to focus very deliberately on submitting daily and thoroughly to the Sovereignty of God at the heart level and in the mind so that there is no resistance to authority to cause fear and pain. As I sense the greatness of God that is infinitely surpassing to all the feeble attempts of earthly authorities to intimidate me; as I make the principles of God's kingdom first priority in my life and allegiance to Him and His instructions to me paramount above all other demands in my life, then I will be free of all internal handles by which earthly powers can control or manipulate me and use me to discredit God's reputation.

The real conflict in life is between who we will serve, not whether or not we will serve. No matter how much I believe I can be free of service to anyone, that is a completely impossible option that can never take place in any life. In the heat of the greatest battle ever fought there is no such thing as neutrality for there is no place in the universe to hide from the participants in this battle. If we are not committed to serving and submitting to God and His ways of living and thinking then we are prime targets for capture by the enemy. He may use deceptions or he may use force to absorb us quickly into his army, but capture us he will and that quite easily, because we are already sinners caught in his territory and surrounded by others loyal to his ways. He already has handles in the heart by which to jerk us around and only full subjection to the authority of Jesus Christ gives anyone hope of having those handles disattached.

This is the very real battle that I sense I am facing at this time. I see others caught in intense cross-fire in the same situation and realize that I am facing the same issues internally right now. I am being forced more and more openly to choose sides as to which power I will make as priority in my soul. This is not only a spiritual battle carried on strictly in the religious realm of life as many suppose it might be. That kind of thinking is completely an illusion designed to weaken our defenses. This battle for my supreme allegiance, the power that I allow to dominate my thinking and feelings, the power that controls my sense of fear is the power that will take control of my destiny. I must live under one authority or the other, there is no third alternative.

If I allow the fear of earthly authorities with all their means of force and intimidation and threats to absorb my attention and dictate my actions and choices then I acknowledge them and the demonic powers behind them as the supreme authority for me which is exactly what they demand. Living in fear is the sign of my allegiance to earthly authorities and is the emotion they work hardest to induce in my heart. They will tolerate profession of religion so far as it does not interfere with their stronghold of fear in my heart by which they can control my behavior, but as soon as allegiance to God's authority interferes with submission to their demands they will inflict whatever means it takes to create fear and dread of them and to force compliance, and they will attack my choices of conscience as acts of treason against their supremacy.

This can take place at any level and on any subject. The subtle bottom-line issue that at times is very difficult to observe clearly is this – the one I dread and allow to control my fears is the one that I am worshiping in fact, irregardless of my profession. I may firmly believe I am a Christian and I may argue and fight for my rights as such, but if fear is dominant in my heart and my primary motivation for making choices is based on fear, then I am being loyal to Satan's kingdom and the kingdoms of this world, because fear is the root element and the modus operandi of those kingdoms.

The only alternative to being controlled by fear is to fill my mind and heart with the real truth about God's superiority, God's truths and the far greater claims that Jesus Christ has on my life through His death on the cross for me personally. I must be completely submitted unconditionally to the authority of God in my heart above all other claims. I must have a very real sense and gut-level understanding that Jesus has already fought this battle for me and has made the hard decisions ahead of time so that I do not have to be any longer a slave to fear. Jesus immersed Himself into the most intense battle with earthly authority during the last few days before His crucifixion and He did so on my behalf so that I could be empowered to live hidden in Him as I face similar circumstances. He made the hard choices so that they could be duplicated in me as I allow Him to live within me during my encounters with these same forces.

The real choice left for me now is whether I will allow the threats and demands of earthly authorities to dominate my thinking and induce my fears to give allegiance to them as supreme and make God's demands second-place in my heart, or whether I will subject myself to God's authority as supreme and thus have nothing left to be manipulated by the terrors used by earthly governments. If my fear of being out of sync with the heart of God is greater than my fear of pain and death imposed on me by earthly powers, then those powers will not find any place in my heart by which to control me. They may be able to inflict great pain on my body and mind but they will not be able to steal my soul from the hand of the One to whom I belong.

That all sounds very nice religiously but it is actually very frightening to me right now. I have a growing sense of urgency that circumstances are very quickly intensifying behind the scenes to expose the real choices that I am making on this issue in ways that will be far from pleasant. I believe that very soon an overwhelming storm of political and physical conflict will involve severe hardships and violence is about to burst upon the whole world that is primarily designed to induce the maximum fear in every heart in order to secure their supreme allegiance to earthly authorities. Every means possible is going to be used to create fear and terror in the hearts of every person so that they will comply with the demands of allegiance to the ways of this world in the name of security and maintaining the way of life as the rich and powerful want it.

There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. (Luke 21:25-26 NRSV)

But ironically allegiance to God involves a curious appearance of subjection to earthly authorities. So my logical question is this, “what is the difference between subjection and allegiance?” I can only have one God in my life and the power that dominates my thinking and underlies the important choices in my daily reactions will be driven by either fear of men or submission to the claims of Jesus Christ on my life. If I surrender all of my loyalty and allegiance to God first without any reservations, then any subjecting that I do to earthly authorities will necessarily be in the higher context of what God desires for me to do, not in response to intimidations imposed on me by earthly authorities.

I cannot leave any vacancies in my heart that have not been surrendered to God's authority or they will be exploited and dominated by fear induced by earthly control. If I try to hold back anything from God for selfish reasons or from fear of others, then I am completely vulnerable to being captured by the power of fear which will always find a way to undermine my allegiance to God. That is why resistance in any degree to the call of God for total obedience is fatally dangerous. It is not because God will get upset with me for some infractions of His rules but because resistance itself creates a weakness in the armor of God designed to protect my soul from infections of fear (the counterfeit kind).

As I am beginning to perceive the message of Romans 13 here, subjection to earthly authorities can only be safely carried out within the context of first being totally submitted to God's authority and His full possession of my heart. Otherwise, demands for subjection to earthly authorities will result in damage of my heart through fear that corrupt earthly authorities almost always use as their means for controlling the world around them. If I am compromised by fear and do not overcome it through a full surrender to God's authority in my soul, then I may still be able to maintain a religious belief and even a very convincing religious apparatus that I think will save me and be pleasing to God, but I will not be grounded solidly to endure the storm. The only real religion that is meaningful and connects me to God is the absolute loyalty and submission of the heart and affections – not only the mind – to His access as the first and best and only power and authority that I worship.

If I try to obey the instructions in Romans 13 without a vital, heart-relationship with my Creator and Redeemer who owns my life, then I may try to maintain the appearance of very strong religious beliefs and profession but my heart will actually be worshiping the authorities of earth via the fears by which they are able to control me. When earthly authorities are able to intimidate me and make me afraid, I will sooner or later conform to their demands in violation of my allegiance to God, and I am giving them worship whether willingly or not. If I obey earthly authorities because these verses demand that I do so but do not have an intimate love relationship with the heart of God, then I have a dangerous liability in my heart that will sooner or later be exposed and filled with the loyalty of fear that will react and conform to the forces of evil.

Only perfect love casts out fear – the kind of love that applies even to enemies. And only as I am more and more filled with the genuine, selfless love of God and experience the transformation of that love at the deepest levels of my soul can I safely subject myself to earthly authorities without coming under their domination through fear. For more and more, earthly authorities are aligning themselves in opposition to the authority of God, though it is often not apparent to many. But God still allows them to function as legitimate, ordained authorities until their evil is fully exposed and the polarization is fully complete between those who live by fear and compliance to the force employed on earth and those who live from the heart in a vital connection with the God of real life.

But in the process of separating the wheat and the tares, God asks us to stay in the field and be subject, but not necessarily loyal, to the legitimate earthly authorities under which we find ourselves. This means living respectfully while perceiving reality and people through the eyes of heaven and with the compassion that God has for all His enemies. While it does not involve being controlled or infected with fear, it does seem to require an immense amount of grace and internal maturity and dependence on God's Spirit to keep proper perspective of what is reality and what is the earthly facade. Only those who are constantly led by the Spirit of God at the heart level will be able to live in subjection to earthly authorities without becoming infected with the fear and resulting bitterness that those authorities induce to control their subjects.

(next in series)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

What to do with Fear

Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. Owe nothing to anyone....(Romans 13:7-8)

For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same. (Romans 13:3)

I am puzzled by the thinking or logic of these verses. I suppose my logical Western mind tries to simplify and categorize concepts that to people in Paul's culture would view quite differently. But I am not them and so I need to perceive how this applies to my life now.

What I struggle with and am trying to understand here is how fear fits into this picture, especially as a debt owed to someone. The most oft-repeated command in the Bible is the instruction not to be afraid, and yet here it seems to be saying that there may be times or relationships in which I have a legitimate debt of fear to pay someone. This is even emphasized by the phrase, Owe nothing to anyone. This phrase comes immediately after four things listed as potential debts that may be owed to someone.

The only clue so far that I can find in this section about what to do about this question is the discussion about fear in relationship to authorities in verses three and four. But even there it strongly implies that we can be free of fear if we do what is good. Of course, what is really good and what authorities may consider good may sometimes be in direct conflict. But I believe that we must be led by the Spirit of God to perceive what is good from God's viewpoint irregardless of what authorities may demand.

If I take this passage and apply it to the story in Acts 4 of the early church when the authorities tried to prevent them from preaching, healing or spreading the gospel, I find it rather conflicting. In fact, one of the most famous and powerful prayers in the Bible is the early church's prayer to God in response to threats by the authorities demanding that the apostles and believers comply with long held customs and trying to instill fear in them. The church told God that the political leaders were trying to make them afraid and that they needed more boldness to overcome the fear that the authorities claimed was due them. So how does this all fit together?

I find this question about rendering fear that is due particularly relevant today with all the increasing agitation and manipulation by current authorities to induce ever-increasing fear of potential terrorism. It is quite clear that there is a hidden agenda behind all this propaganda and it seems to be simply a smokescreen for removing more and more of our freedoms and rights. Fear is used as the excuse to get people to believe that their fears can be allayed by increased “security” through surrender of their privacy and freedoms. But really it is a mirage that is only leading to total slavery of the common people in a power-grab by federal and state agencies spinning out of control.

I personally believe nothing can stop this movement and that we are on the fast-track to tyranny following the example of many other countries who have succumbed to this allure. The revelation of what life is like in Myanmar right now is a preview of the kind of world we are headed for where authorities are far more interested in maintaining total power and control over their hapless subjects/victims than they are in the very survival or needs of any of their people. This is the matured result of selfishness and sin in the human heart and is the destiny of all who allow selfishness to reign unrestricted in their lives.

I do not have a conclusive answer to my questions yet, but one thing still seems to be reinforced. The priorities of authority in my mind must be constantly checked and aligned properly to make sure that God is always above any other competitor for my allegiance. I think of the words of Jesus, Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matthew 10:28) If fear is going to be a dominant factor in my life then I must at least make the choice as to who I am going to fear the most and make sure it is God, not corrupt alternatives.

Given this context of authorities trying to induce terror in the minds of millions of people to bring them under their control, is Paul saying that we owe them a legitimate debt of fear? I find that hard to believe or even consistent with the rest of Scripture. I looked up the Greek word translated fear here and mulled over other verses in the New Testament with this word and found some interesting applications.

So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace, being built up; and going on in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it continued to increase. (Acts 9:31)

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)

So how do these pieces fit together correctly? How does the fear of God trumping the fear of abusive, manipulative authorities working to increase their power improve or help me align properly with the kingdom of heaven? In the above verse I find some fascinating concepts about the fear of the Lord.

It is a fact that fear-bonds are easily overcome or broken by a greater fear replacing the first fear. The human brain has been trained by Satan to bond with fear which can be very effective in controlling us abusively. But fear-bonds, though very strong are also very unstable and can easily be replaced with an even greater fear that causes us to quickly switch our allegiance to the power behind the greater threat. Since it is necessary for salvation that our allegiance be centered on God alone, Jesus tells us to pay attention to the greatest power and Source of real danger in the entire universe. God is the greatest Source of danger, not because He wants to be a threat to intimidate us like Satan does, but because power that is not properly related to is always dangerous.

If you understand anything about high-power electrical systems you know that you have to respect the guidelines and protocol when working around it or your life could be snuffed out in an instant. This is not because the electricity is angry with you but because of natural principles inherent in power and its relationship to everything around it. The same principles apply even more so to the ultimate Power Source of the whole universe. We must have access to that power or we cannot live, but we also must come into proper relationship with it or we also will not live very long.

But Satan has presented himself as an alternate source of power for us and sin has convinced us that he is a viable way to view reality and serve our own selfish interests. Satan has, as with everything else God has put in place, perverted the nature of fear and turned it into an abusive, hurtful weapon to control us and rob us of our freedoms. Fear of any kind generally creates a desire for comfort. So as another perversion he has offered us temporary pleasures and selfish exploits to offer us comfort to sooth our fears. But this too, being a counterfeit, only leaves us feeling more empty and more afraid which drives the crazy cycle in our hearts into more and more intensity and pain.

But in God's true system we can experience the true and original experience of fear (which is really respect) and have that fear be balanced by real comfort which brings deep peace and real satisfaction. In Acts 9:31 we see that the Holy Spirit is the counterpart or answer to effectively align our minds and hearts into a proper relationship with the legitimate fear of the Lord.

Satan's method or counterfeit for comfort is often pleasure. That is why I think it is no surprise that right now there is such a proliferation of pleasure-inducing activities and shows on television and in the theater's to keep people distracted from the increasing fears being created by our government. Pleasure acts to numb our fears like drugs numb our sense of emptiness and pain. Once the effect wears off we immediately crave another fix to cover up the even more increased awareness of our desperation and fear. Thus our addiction to entertainment is a very real drug to keep us avoiding facing reality and ignore the plight that we are in socially and politically.

For those who live in fear or avoidance through pleasures of various kinds, God offers an even greater fear that far-surpasses any fear that Satan could ever impose if we thought about it seriously. But the fear of God comes with a real and effective antidote that is not like the counterfeits of pleasure that never resolve our fears but only mask them. The comfort of the Holy Spirit is an internal revelation about the real truth about the God that has so much potential for death in our lives. This very same God whose very presence can cause the most damage to our souls and bodies is really the source of all life, hope and love if we will allow the Holy Spirit to repair our damaged perceptions about Him.

The verse from 2 Corinthians tells me the kind of things the fear of God should produce in my life. Instead of the counterfeit fear that corrupt authorities use that produces only pain and death, God's induced fear will compel me to cleanse myself from all defilement of flesh and spirit. This kind of fear motivates me toward holiness, and holiness means total dedication to one purpose or person which in this case is God Himself. Holiness is being in proper alignment or relationship to the dangerous but life-giving Source of all power.

Defilement of flesh and spirit is the condition of resistance and condemnation that I will find myself in when I do not have the authorities in my life in proper alignment. I must first and most of all keep God's authority above all others, but within that context I must also try to live at peace with all men (12:18) including proper authorities in my life. Increasingly, as those authorities set themselves against the authority of God in my life I will find myself in conflict with their demands on me and will suffer accordingly. But I must also learn from the example of Jesus in how He related to corrupt authorities how to be respectful and be subject to them without being contaminated by their evil spirit. That will definitely take the ministry of the Holy Spirit within me to accomplish in my life, but that is the role of the Spirit and I have to trust Him to do His job effectively.

The more I consider the response of Jesus to Pilate's attempt to control Him with the counterfeit fear of earthly authority, the clearer this is becoming to me. This exchange is reported in John 19 and reveals some very important principles about relating to authorities. Pilate claimed that he had the authority of life and death over Jesus. In saying this he was really attempting to assert himself in the place of God, the true Authority of life and death. To this Jesus answered that Pilate really had no authority at all except as a subservient to the real authority of heaven. I believe it was vital that Jesus made it very plain that He would not accept as fact the assertions that Pilate was trying to make about authority. What Jesus did acknowledge and accept was the recognition that God was the real authority in charge and since God had allowed Pilate to act as a surrogate for that authority temporarily that Jesus would subject Himself to this designated authority on earth as God's will in that moment. But Jesus wanted it to be very clear that He was doing it only as submission to His Father's will and not on the basis which Pilate was using to claim authority.

I notice that not only am I to be cleansed of defilement of the flesh but also of the spirit. This is the core of the real battle and where I need the most healing in my life. It is my spirit that needs the most healing and is the arena where the most transformation needs to take place. I may be able to appear to conform to the demands of relating properly to authorities and follow the letter of the law, but my spirit can be chaffing and become very bitter and angry inside all the while. I have experienced that many times and I know how ineffective it is to accomplish real change or bring me into harmony with God's ways. This is because there is still a great deal of resistance inside, and resistance always produces stress, worry and fear. The real defilement of the flesh and spirit is the resistance to God's authority that must be released before I can experience the peace that I need that comes from being in right relationship with God.

As demonstrated in Acts 9:31, when each of us begins to effectively receive the comfort and transformation of the Holy Spirit, the church will begin to grow exponentially as it did in the early days after Pentecost. I believe that real church growth of the true body of Christ will not come by convincing more people of our doctrines or producing more thrilling worship services, but will be a ground-swell of people coming alive through the internal transformation of their spirit by the convicting and comforting work of the Holy Spirit when it is allowed access to their deepest hearts. It will become more and more powerful as the internal resistance in our hearts is released so that God's Spirit can have full access to our lives and will integrate us into an unstoppable army of love. This is the experience of the heart that I crave and that is reflected in the Psalm that I read this morning.

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God? (Psalms 42:1-2 NRSV)

(next in series)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

All and Nothing

Render to all what is due them... Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another.... (Romans 13:7-8)

Very clearly these two verses are meant to be in stark contrast with each other. But what is the even deeper message than what I see on the surface of these verses? Let me again look more at the context.

In the very next verses Paul refers directly to the Law of God given on Mount Sinai and explains that loving your neighbor is the fulfillment of this Law. It seems that this is somehow tied back into the concept of explaining what is due to those around me. Just as all real authority is from God, so all fulfillment of our requirements to those authorities must be bound up in the commandments of God.

John explained this very same relationship when he wrote, By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. (1 John 5:2-3) There are many people who become very defensive and resistant whenever the commandments of God are mentioned. They want to rationalize that somehow God's commandments are no longer in effect for our lives, that they are superseded by a new age of love, a new dispensation as they call it. But the word fulfillment is not synonymous with eradication, because God's commandments are only descriptions of principles of reality. To eradicate God's Law would be an attempt to eliminate reality itself.

Far from insinuating that the Law of God has been set aside by love, Paul and John are both saying that the essence of the Law is loving others, both God and fellow men. In this sense only is the Law superseded in that when we finally learn to fully love without resistance both our Creator and those He created with us then we will be found to be in perfect harmony with the natural Law describing God's character Himself and that defines the image that we are modeled upon.

But I want to go back and explore this issue of debt a little more. Paul is strongly implying that I owe a debt to others, and in this context particularly authorities. He lists a few things that he believes are owed: taxes, custom, fear and honor. Then he immediately goes on to say that we should be so thorough in paying what is due that we will owe nothing to anyone (except to love).

My mind always keeps going back to the real meaning of the word due. It is clear that I am to pay what is due, but how do I deal with the question of knowing what is due and what is not due? I don't think it is necessarily safe to simply trust public opinion or coercive threats trying to convince me that someone's demands upon me are just dues. But on the other hand I also do not want the resistance inherent in my sinful flesh to blind me to the truth about who is legitimately due these things from me. I want to know God's perspective on this issue. And I will continue to look for it and seek to come into harmony with His Word, especially in the condition of my spirit.

And I believe that the rest of this chapter specifically addresses that very issue. Paul's discussion of love as the fulfillment of the law is targeting the nature of my spirit far more than the compliance of my political choices. There are many that pay great attention to conformity to every requirement imposed upon them but have no real love for those they are complying with. According to this passage that person is not really fulfilling the law, they are just conforming to this world (12:2).

I also see links in this passage between love and subjection which is the opposite of resistance and opposition. So if I try to subject myself to authority without love I am still not fulfilling the law. Wow! This is a lot to contemplate on for awhile.

Father, only Your miracle of grace and transformation can produce this kind of life and behavior in me. I give You permission and ask You to continue to transform me from the inside. Keep Your promise from Eze. 36 to put in me a new heart and a right spirit. Shower me with Your water and make me clean inside of all resistance so that I can be safe in Your intense presence. Glorify Your name in my life today.

(next in series)

Monday, May 26, 2008

Another Look at Resistance

As I have begun to see over the past few years, resistance is the greatest danger to my soul. Resistance in my heart is the fatal ingredient that will cause me pain and ultimate death when all will be exposed to the unveiling of God's glory in the final Day of Judgment.

But letting go of resistance is also the most difficult thing for most of us to do. We may cling to it in very different ways, some very forcefully and others more passively which sometimes masks its true identity, but resistance to the truth about God and acceptance of His ways in our life is part of the core essence of sin.

Sin causes us to believe that we can figure out life better than God can for us. Sin is not always averse to asking God for help to do things as long as the plans are originated in our own minds. This allows us to collect some of the credit if things appear to work out for the good. But it also masks our internal resistance to complete surrender to being led by the Spirit of God. Religion is a good cover for much resistance and provides us a social life that makes resistance in hidden areas of our life acceptable or even encouraged. Because so many people around us are in agreement about out collective beliefs about what is truth then it makes it very easy to resist anything that challenges our assumptions or long-held opinions.

On the other hand, we may be so filled with hidden resistance that we take pride in our independence from what everyone else thinks and bolster our positions by amassing knowledge and complicated arguments based on Scripture or other inspired sources to prove that we are right and everyone who disagrees with us is wrong. We may point to our extended years of education or extensive research on our favorite topic as proof that we are more likely to be correct than those who see things differently. But underlying our insistence of having more accurate truth than those around us is a hidden spirit of resistance that may even be masked under a personality of apparent humility and gentleness. But when probed or challenged that resistance can flash out in anger against those who would dare to challenge our assertions.

I have noticed in others and in myself that even if the position that we are taking may be technically true, that if the spirit is not right and submitted to the sweet Spirit of Jesus, especially when one is feeling attacked, then the effect of having “truth” easily loses it potency because of the negative message delivered by an offended spirit that is contaminated by resistance.

One of the most important verses in the Bible that presents the balance needed for true spirituality, in my opinion anyway, is the comment made by Jesus to the woman at Jacob's well in Samaria.

"But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." (John 4:23-24) It is so easy to believe that we can lean heavily to one side or the other on this issue, but it is never the design of God for us and will endanger the condition of our soul. Ignoring one side or the other will cause damage to our spiritual condition and will create great imbalance, but an imbalance that we are very seldom aware of.

The more my mind becomes aware of the existence of resistance within me the more alarmed I am at how much there must be. And I suspect I am only looking at the tip of an iceberg of what may be lurking underneath. But at the same time I am glad that God is showing it to me for it is only in the light of His presence that I can see anything that needs to be addressed in my heart.

This morning as I opened my Bible to again see what the Spirit wants to show me from this passage that I have been studying for so long, this issue of resistance and its link to evil seemed to jump out at me. That is no surprise given how much I must have inside, but I wanted to look for parallel verses that might help me understand it better and assist me in being more aware or give me more clues as to how to let go of this resistance. What came to my attention was again the last verse in chapter twelve about being overcome or overcoming evil. This is very closely linked with resistance as I am noticing.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. (Rom. 12:17)

See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. (1Thess. 5:15)

Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. (1Peter 3:9)

As I looked further in 1 Peter I found another passage that fits very well into this. ... all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:5-7)

True humility is in essence letting go of all resistance. On the other hand, pride is another word for resistance. As I look over these various verses together – and there are certainly many more that could be included – I see more clearly a pattern of thinking and spirit that is needed when relating to authorities. And the bottom line is how much resistance is still within my heart.

Evil treatment by authorities is one of the quickest ways to expose resistance at the heart level. Some authorities seem to specialize in drawing out hidden resistance and then attempting to crush it by any means possible. This is the spirit of Satan's kingdom and is normal given the source. But it is also the same spirit that is resident in our own sinful flesh and infects every human being living on this planet.

There is an example that I must look to to learn how to respond to evil, whether from authorities or otherwise. It is an example not just intellectually but much more one that is meant to mentor my right brain. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. (1 Peter 2:21-24)

Salvation is the healing process whereby I am offered the opportunity to become free from this fatal disease of resistance in my heart. It is interesting to note that Paul declares that authorities are ministers of God to us. That is not to say that they can bring us healing or salvation, but they act as a means to expose our hearts to see how much resistance is still resident there. If I have an intense reaction to abusive authority and become angry then I am alerted that there is still a good deal of resistance that needs to be faced, uncovered and released by the healing work of the Holy Spirit. If God uses authorities to expose my faults I should not become resentful for being thus exposed but need to recognize that I still have pride and resistance that God desires to replace with the true humility of love and compassion.

The more I am healed of resistance the easier it will be for me to access the vision of heaven and perceive differently those who seem to be persecuting or attacking me. The more resistance I cling to or refuse to acknowledge in my heart the more defensive I will be which usually demonstrates itself by blaming others for my problems. Of course this is much easier to observe in other people's experience than in myself. But if I am willing and humble God is faithful to help me see my own fault's and will always have a means of bringing about the needed healing.

Having said all of this, I am intensely aware that it has been about 90% left-brain understanding and explanations. That is not all bad, but it is certainly nowhere near enough to be really effective and life-changing. My heart has been listening while I have been writing all of this and is feeling a little apprehensive as to the implications of what I am saying. In addition my flesh is trying to discount some of these things in its desire to maintain control over my life. I guess that all in all I am not completely congruent.

But I am glad to remind myself that it is God's work to heal me, to reveal my faults to me in ways that encourage me to come to Him for help, and it is not my job to figure out how to fix myself. The Word of God is indeed like a two-edged sword exposing what is at the deepest levels of my soul. And it is the job of the God of the Word to then accomplish the transformation that only He can do as I give Him permission and access to my heart. My part is to cooperate and choose to quit resisting His work in me.

(next in series)

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Testing the Theory

This study in Romans 13 is one of the most difficult passages that I have spent time on, not just because it takes so much time to try to sort out the preconceptions from the truth buried in the Word but more so because the issue dealt with here is likely my most sensitive area and my greatest weakness. But saying that, after reading Wild at Heart a year or two ago I wonder if this also may be potentially my most important strength in some strange way.

In that book it is pointed out that Satan usually attacks us at a very early age with attempts to wound us deeply in the very area of our heart that God designed to be our greatest contribution, the unique part of our identity where we are to reflect some portion of God's character most clearly. Satan intends to wound us so deeply in that most important part of our heart that he hopes we will never recover so that the image of God in that area of our soul will stay incapacitated and not be a threat to Satan's kingdom.

If this proposition is true, then possibly the issue of authority might be the area in which I am supposed to reflect the image of God most clearly to others, for it has certainly been the area of my heart that seems to have received the most damage and contains the most volatile triggers. It is so sensitive and reactive that I am even writing these words with great trepidation wondering if it might be foolishness to ever share them with anyone. I will leave that up the the Spirit to guide me after I am finished. But I do know it is very helpful and important that I go through the process of expressing what is going on in the deeper levels of my heart as a means of processing what is in there and receiving the light of truth from God to enter places that otherwise have remained hidden or inaccessible for many years.

Whether planned by God or not, yesterday I had a small opportunity to have my buttons in this area pushed and found that they still work all too well. I am not surprised about that but neither do I feel at all good about it. While I cannot heal my own triggers I have been listening faithfully every day to the messages from the Spirit to my heart about these things as I meditate, process and write on this part of Romans. I intend to stay in this passage as long as the Spirit impresses me so that He can do a more thorough work of excavation, repair and restoration inside of me. I do sense that He is fitting me up with more useful equipment to meet such situations though I need to learn how to use them effectively. I have to trust God to be in charge of this project completely and I believe He has the ability and the plans to finish what He has started, and it will be with amazing results.

Without going into details, I was faced yesterday with a situation of needing to talk with some very abusive authorities that have control over a close friend of mine right now. I found out they had accused me of breaking their petty rules in relationship to my friend and then went on to take out their vengeance on him as if he had anything to do with it. Though the accusations were completely and absurdly false that makes no difference to corrupt, earthly, abusive people who get themselves into positions of power and absolute control over others.

When I found out about it yesterday my emotions of anger and resentment instantly flashed up as usual and I could not restrain all of the evil thoughts and feelings that flooded my mind. I consciously realized what was happening but still allowed some of the poison of bitterness to leak out which affected others who were listening. I knew that I needed divine help in this situation as did the other people I was speaking with (before I tried to contact the authorities) and I began praying for myself for God's Spirit to do an even more thorough work in me, and for a spirit of humility and the eyes of heaven to see the situation very differently – as God sees it. I needed the compassion of God in my heart toward these sick-minded people instead of the rage that was quickly infecting and blinding my heart.

I remembered one of the previous times I had been forced to have a major face-off with some arrogant authorities and how I had failed to listen to the small voice inside of me instructing me to go somewhere alone first and spend whatever time needed in prayer to receive a right spirit before plunging into that situation. I failed to take that time and the consequences were less than honorable. The next day I woke up with remorse and shame for how my words had discredited the reputation of the God I claimed to be in control of my life. Even though I had exercised a lot of self-restraint I had mixed in enough bitterness that I had in effect denied my Lord under fire and dishonored His reputation.

Yesterday I found myself back at a similar place in my mind, though far less intense or potentially volatile. But I was warned that these people are skilled at pushing people's buttons and deliberately try to induce anger and resentment in people. They seem to almost take sadistic pride in being able to irritate and make life miserable for those under their total control as well as everyone trying to relate to their victims. This kind of injustice and open evil induces such strong feelings within me that I know God has a great deal more repair work to do for me to reflect the spirit of Jesus that He demonstrated during His abusive trial and crucifixion. But I also know that is what He fully intends to do in my heart, to prepare me for any similar situations that I may meet in my life.

I found myself wrestling between my urgent need to wait and spend time in calming prayer and my flesh's desire to immediately call these ?/!# people and attempt to manipulate and abuse them like they do to others. Of course my mind clearly understands that this is unreasonable and will only make things worse for my friend as well as for me, but the flesh doesn't really care about things like that – which is exactly why the flesh and its lusts need to be constantly crucified inside of my own mind on a continuous basis. If allowed to infect my spirit it will always try to “fix” things for me in a way that will only make things worse.

I did take time to pray and seek the calming influence of the Spirit of Jesus to fill my heart and override the urgency that my flesh was demanding. I struggled to know how long this needed to go on before I would be safe to pick up the phone and make the call. Finally with some fear I did make the phone call and, possibly providentially, the people I needed to speak with were all out for a long week-end and I was only able to leave messages for them. Of course this precluded their being able to tempt me or push the buttons in my weak area and I was able to leave a respectful, informative message attempting to clear up the misunderstanding and hopefully make things a little easier for my friend. Of course this issue is not over yet. I may yet have to talk with them on Tuesday. But then I will have had much more time to have therapy from the Spirit of Jesus to do its work in my heart.

As I thought about this while waking up this morning I was encouraged that as I prayed, God empowered me to begin to view these people in my mind more clearly through the eyes of heaven and truly see them as very hurting, damaged people themselves who mistakenly feel they can find satisfaction through abuse of others. Anyone who abuses others is doing so from unresolved pain within their own heart, likely from abuse they have received, and they desperately need the healing that comes from God. The same is true for me which means that I am no better than they are. I have the same tendencies and the same potential for evil as every other human being and when I fail to listen to and absorb the grace and kindness of God, when I fail to seek to sense His face and His presence, I will act out the same tragic, abusive, toxic behaviors that I find so offensive to my own heart from others.

I remember hearing a story about a famous Jewish Nazi-hunter who had spent much of his life searching and tracking down some of the most notorious suspects from Germany who had escaped to various places in the world to hide from justice. When one of the worst ones was finally caught and brought to trial in Israel, this Jewish man went to the courtroom to see him for the first time. It is reported that when he walked into the courtroom and took a good look at the Nazi he fell on the floor weeping – but for very different reasons than anyone suspected. He later said that what shocked him most was not the wickedness and evil that he had expected to see in the Nazi's face, but that the Nazi looked so normal that the Jewish man suddenly realized that he possessed in his own heart the very same capacity for evil that had enabled the Nazi to commit so many unspeakable crimes against so many others. He realized that the evil of sin was not just resident in a few, high-profile criminals as many like to believe, but that everyone of us has the very same potential for evil atrocities if we found ourselves in a similar situation with similar opportunities.

If it were not for the grace of God restraining the human heart everyone of us would more fully reflect the hateful spirit of Satan and the whole world would quickly self-annihilate. The natural results of sin really is death. Satan's ways and spirit are destructive but also very infectious. Because of that I need the healing balm from the divine Physician just as much as the abusive people who find themselves in places of power to make life hell for those under their domination. My greatest temptation is to become infected with the same spirit that makes them so obnoxious and this is the area of my heart that needs the most repair and healing.

Fortunately for me God is totally faithful even when I am not. God is all forgiveness even when I fall short or even resent His forgiveness to others. (I felt compelled to write extensively on forgiveness yesterday.) God is compassionate when I want to seek vengeance (just ask Jonah). God is patient even when I fall victim to urgency. What I am continually learning is that my primary focus must be on seeking God's face and dwelling on His perfect attributes instead of having my mind filled with the faults and sins of fallen humans. I must have the viewpoint of heaven or I will be guaranteed to be sucked into the very sins that I so much abhor in others. Sin is a cancer in my heart that reproduces itself wildly out of control if not stopped by the intervention of Jesus.

Father, I have laid myself out this morning and have glimpsed some of the internal garbage that still lies unresolved within my own heart. I confess these things and do not hide them from You. I ask You to do whatever You need to do to heal and rebuild Your image in my soul so that Your reputation as a Healer and Saver will be honored. Continue Your therapy in my life and show me Your face and Your beauty much more clearly. Keep me very close to You and I choose to submit to Your authority in my life. Please give me the glasses of heaven so that I can see past the abusive ways of men and not be intimidated or angered by their evil. Give me the heart of Jesus to love my enemies unconditionally with the love that only You can provide. Make me a channel of Your love and fill me with Your peace.

(next in series)