She Saw Him

When she had said this, she went away and called Mary her sister, saying secretly, "The Teacher is here and is calling for you."

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died." (John 11:28, 32)

To say that Mary was hurting would be a serious understatement. But I believe she was feeling much more than sorrow at this time. There are many other emotions that swirl around a person's life after a death of someone very close to them. Some have outlined what is called the grieving process. This process often involves anger, blame and other emotions that many of us are quite uncomfortable facing but are very real.

Given the circumstances and sequence of events in this story it is very likely that Mary was probably feeling strong urges to feel angry at Jesus even though her heart did not want to experience that feeling. Having these intense and conflicting emotions would naturally cause a person to also experience guilt on top of all the other emotions. After all, Jesus was Mary's best friend who had repeatedly saved her from a desperate life of sin from which she had no escape. Mary felt deeply indebted to Jesus and loved Him with an intensity like no other person at that time. But now she found herself experiencing feelings that were very negative about Jesus and it must have caused her much consternation and confusion.

Feeling negative emotions about a person we are supposed to love creates internal stress. Having mixed feelings toward someone who has saved our life can create shame and guilt for even having such thoughts. All of this can add to the already heavy weight of emotion that naturally results from someone dying and can make one wonder what is going on.

Mary had been coming to learn one of the most vital lessons that any of us can ever learn. After repeated relapses into a life of prostitution and being rescued by Jesus over and over, she finally began noticing that if she could just remain close to Jesus and focus on Him that it was much easier to stay out of slipping back into her own weakness and being overcome with temptation. This is why she was so intent on remaining in the presence of Jesus and sitting at His feet when Martha blew up in frustration at her demanding that Jesus send her into the kitchen. It was not that she did not want to help her sister but that she had been learning that the only really safe place for her to maintain stability was to stick as close as possible to the one who had the power to rescue her and transform her.

Mary shows up repeatedly in the Bible as the one who seemed to spend the most time at the feet of Jesus. This was no accident but was something that she learned the hard way. But she was learning the lesson and was discovering that if she could just stay in the presence of the one who truly loved her and had the power to save her that she would be safe.

But this time Jesus had seemed to let her down. She and her sister had sent a message to Him about their brother's sickness but He had seemingly ignored their request and now their brother had died. This brought a whole new set of temptations to Mary that she was now struggling to deal with. Why would her best friend act in such a strange way if He loved her as much as she was sure He did? Everything was so confused in her mind and the suggestions of some of the Jews who had come to 'console' her were not helping matters any. Without Jesus present to bring sense and clarity into her life, Mary was devastated and distraught. She did not know how to cope with her emotions and she was not strong enough to rise above them at this point.

Her sister who had a different personality and likely less charisma than Mary seemed to be able to hang onto a bit more faith even though she too was devastated. Martha was more of a thinker and less prone to being swept along by her feelings. She did not have the kind of emotional damage that Mary had and was able to view things differently than Mary. But right now Mary was stuck in a dark place inside and nearly everyone around her only seemed to be reinforcing that darkness.

When Martha quietly slipped in and whispered to Mary that Jesus wanted to meet her outside of town, it was like an electric shock in her world. It was the kind of jolt that could push Mary out of her deep stuck place and gave her a glimmer of hope that somehow Jesus could do something even though she had no idea what or how. All Mary knew was that Jesus had repeatedly rescued her again and again from hopeless situations and that the best thing for her to do when things got desperate was to get into the presence of Jesus. And the fact that Jesus wanted to see her was the best word that had come to her in a long while.

As I was reading this yesterday some words seemed to jump off the page at me. ...when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet... I have learned that the Bible writers do not often just through things in for filler. When something is mentioned in a story like this it can hold enormous significance and I love to open up that door and explore what might be hidden behind it. When I read these words, she saw Him, I sensed a reference to the deep and intense brew of swirling emotions going on inside of Mary's heart that all suddenly burst open like a ruptured dam or a volcano. Mary was finally back where she knew she needed to be and she didn't lose a moment to instantly throw herself at the feet of Jesus where she had so many times found relief, comfort and hope.

Just seeing Jesus was enough to disrupt all her emotional turmoil and challenge the doubts and anger and shame and despair that seemed deadlocked in her mind. Seeing the compassionate face of Jesus and suddenly re-experiencing the emotions now so familiar whenever she looked into His eyes reignited her own passion for Him and she could do nothing other than throw herself at His feet and express the agony of her soul.

While she did not have the ability at this point to dialogue with Jesus like Martha had just done, Mary did what any of us can do when things don't make sense and our emotions seem out of harmony with the relationship we want to have with Him. She threw herself into the only place that she knew had potential for bringing her relief and where she had found salvation so many times before. When she saw His face she wanted to get back to being at His feet.

Not long after this Mary was again at the feet of Jesus feeling very intense emotions and also very awkward. Mary was a very emotional person who had a magnetism that had often gotten her into seriously compromising relationships. Now with her dark reputation as a woman of the street still influencing what other people thought of her, she still felt compelled to come into His presence again, this time to publicly offer Jesus the greatest gift she could come up with to show Him how she really felt inside. Again she found herself the object of scorn and shame and humiliation from those around as she expressed her intense emotions for Jesus while pouring super-expensive perfume over His feet and wiping up the excess with her long hair. With her emotions overflowing in tears nothing could prevent her from pouring out her heart to Him no matter what it might cost her.

It seemed that Mary was always violating social rules and creating problems because of her personality and impulsiveness. She repeatedly found herself in compromising relationships and situations with men, but her deep craving for affirmation and her need to feel valued and loved kept driving her back for more. When Jesus entered the picture He offered her an alternative source of value and affirmation that was not exploitive but honored her as a precious daughter of God in spite of her sins. This was stunning, surprising, even confusing to her until she began to experience the transformation that always takes place inside whenever a person encounters this kind of love. Now she had so much passion and appreciation and gratitude for what Jesus had done in her life that she could not stop herself from once again violating the strict conventions of social behavior to pour out her heart in an abandoned act of love for her Savior at His feet.

Mary came to the place where she realized that life simply was not worth living unless she could experience the presence of Jesus. Eventually she learned that she could live in His presence without having to physically have Him there because He provided a Spirit, a Comforter as He called it, to keep Him close to her all the time whether or not He was there in body. Mary learned the lesson that I want to learn much better, that the only safe place in life is as close as I can get to the feet of Jesus.

When she saw Him she threw herself at His feet. Mary knew what it was to seek the face of God.
And whenever she caught sight of that face the truth and love and power she found there was always able to set her free from the power of sin and shame and hopelessness in her life.

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

(2Ch 7:14 ESV)

Thin Permission

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled. (John 11:32-33)

Mary said the very same words that Martha had expressed but with one very important difference; she did not go the next step and express confidence that Jesus could do something to salvage this terrible situation. She stopped short of expressing a word of confidence that He might do something for her.

I have a growing conviction that Jesus needed human permission in the supernatural realm to be allowed to perform the miracle that He planned to perform on behalf of this family. The rules of engagement in the supernatural battle between good and evil have very specific requirements, many which we seem to be largely unaware of most of the time. But these rules are strictly enforced and applied by the supernatural beings involved in this conflict. Jesus was at the very center of this battle during His life here on earth and especially as He neared the time of His great sacrifice.

It is noted by the gospel writers that at times Jesus was unable to perform healings in certain places because of the unbelief of the people there. This is another very strong clue as to the restrictions of the supernatural laws governing the actions of both the divine and the evil forces. Jesus came to recapture this earth's governorship back from Satan who induced Adam into handing it over to him. Jesus came as the new Adam, the new representative of this earth in the councils of heaven. Of course Satan challenged Him at every single step of this contest and would not allow Jesus to do anything on this planet outside of what was allowed under the rules of engagement.

Raising a dead person back to life after they had begun to decompose was a very major event that would come under the closest scrutiny in the supernatural realm. This had never happened in all of history before and Jesus was to make an assertion about His authority through this miracle that would have repercussions throughout all eternity and especially among the religious community of His day. Satan had largely seduced the religious establishment into using force, fear, intimidation and deception as the main methods for maintaining control over people rather than following the methods God had laid out for their ancestors. Satan had hijacked religion to serve his ends, to deceive and discourage anyone seeking to know God and Satan had thus painted God's character in the darkest colors possible.

Jesus came to this earth for the purpose of reintroducing the clear truth about what God is really like and how He relates to people, especially sinners. (see John 18:37) Jesus also came to contend the authority that Satan had usurped from Adam and to legitimately wrest this earth away from his demonic control and abuse. This would be a fight to the death and Jesus knew it, but He never once flinched or was deterred in His plans to redeem humanity.

Without knowledge of this much greater context, Mary and Martha could only see what was going on in their own lives. But they had the advantage of having been instructed and mentored by Jesus Himself because they had chosen to welcome Him into their home and treat Him as one of their family. This had given them the potential of being used by Jesus to bring to the greater conflict one of the most telling blows against the tyranny of Satan's kingdom. Satan has relied on death and all things surrounding death as the primary means of maintaining control over people's lives and hearts with fear. Heaven does not rely on fear but rather on love as its basis of operation so the whole conflict between good and evil can be delineated by the stark difference between these two tactics.

As Jesus approached the village of Bethany to bring life and hope into the situation of His friends, from the supernatural perspective He needed to have human permission from someone involved in the situation to be able to complete His intentions for them. Jesus had spent many hours prepping both of these sisters and sharing with them vital truths that they needed to understand and grasp in order to partner with Him in His plans for them. Now the time of testing had come and both of these women were under intense pressure from opposite sides of the conflict to influence how they would perform and what choices they would make. They had enough information and experience with Jesus to cooperate with Him in His plans, but it was entirely up to them individually as to what they would do with what they had learned.

I find it interesting that it was Martha, not Mary who in this time of extreme pressure who was the one who gave Jesus the permission that He needed to continue His plans for them. I believe that if Martha had not added the words that she did after expressing her frustration with Jesus that He would have had to look elsewhere or possibly could have been prevented from going through with His plans for them. Some may disagree and find the idea strange that God cannot simply do whatever He desires to do in our lives. But it is a fact of reality that each one of us is the pivotal player in deciding which power will dominate and have permission to operate in our lives. God fiercely defends our right and freedom to choose even when we use that power to defeat His purposes and His good plans for our lives.

I am sure that Jesus was disappointed when Mary failed to express the same confidence in Him that Martha had expressed. Mary said the same exact words to start with which reveals that likely this sentiment had been the dominant idea over the past few days. In fact, I suspect that this phrase questioning Jesus' motives was the main focus of most of those who had come to purportedly console the sisters. Satan often seeks to get us to use sympathy to keep us stuck in depression and despair. In such situations it may be very surprising to learn that sympathy can often be a method of the enemy rather than a blessing to the ones supposedly being comforted. Sympathy often is used to reinforce lies about God rather than for bringing genuine hope and comfort to the grieving, hurting ones.

Obviously both sisters were hurting deeply and were full of questions about why Jesus had not come to save their brother from death. But Martha was the only one that went beyond the questions and handed Jesus the 'permission slip' so to speak that was vitally needed for Him to proceed. Mary could have chosen to do the same, but from the context it appears that she may have slipped so far under the influence of the negative Jews seeking to reinforce doubts about Jesus that she could not bring herself to trust Him that much in her pain. If this is true it is very sad, but Jesus already had the permission He needed from Martha to move ahead and He was in no way going to censure Mary.

Why does the text say that He was very troubled in His spirit? I believe it was because of this pervasive atmosphere of dark depression and unbelief being reinforced by these Jews intent on turning the hearts of Mary and Martha and many others away from their trust in Jesus. Their focus was on sadness and death and the elimination of all hope. They had a great deal of animosity against the ministry of Jesus who was bringing hope and light and life into the hearts of people listening to Him. His ideas were seriously undermining their ability to keep people in fear and bondage under their severe religious domination. The Jews were becoming very afraid of losing even political control and their methods for keeping their power were being weakened by what Jesus was doing. They were determined to reinforce the reign of spiritual terror and political fear that they had so carefully cultivated for generations.

This was the dark, foreboding atmosphere that caused Jesus to shudder and that disturbed His spirit. This was a concentration of the very darkness that He had come to dispel. And seeing His dear friend Mary being consumed by this very spirit and being sucked into despair produced by this darkness only added to His sadness and agitation.

It was the pervasiveness of unbelief that troubled the heart of Jesus. After three years of ministering to these people, teaching them the truth about His Father and seeking to bring light into their darkened minds, the fears and dark assumptions about God still remained deeply entrenched in nearly everyone's thinking. It is a titanic struggle to overcome the darkness created by the mass of lies about God that Satan has crafted for centuries. And it takes much time and enormous effort to counteract these lies and overcome the darkness with the advancement of real truth.

What is it at the core of this conflict? It is the implied question contained in the statements of both Martha and Mary. Does God really care about us and our problems? Jesus, do you care or not? If you really care about us why didn't you come when we needed you the most? Now there is nothing you can do about Lazarus when you finally arrive. Why don't your actions align with your claims that you genuinely care about us?

This too was the very issue that the Jews wanted to reinforce with Mary and Martha as seen in the next few verses. They wanted to convey very strongly to everyone that Jesus didn't really care about them as much as they thought He did. They were doing everything they could think of to strengthen suspicions about Jesus and the claims He was making about God. The God they presented to the people was not a caring God but an exacting God demanding stern obedience by using intimidation and threats of punishment against those not conforming perfectly to His demands. This is the picture of God that Satan has always sought to get people to believe and is the view of Him still held by most people today. A God of fear and threats and punishments is not a God our hearts can believe really cares about us at the deepest level. The popular portrayals of God all throughout history and still prevalent yet today is more descriptive of the character of Satan than of the real God in heaven.

Did Jesus really care about Martha and Mary's feelings? Was He concerned about their pain and suffering and grief? Of course He was. But the way He handled their situation seemed to demonstrate the opposite until the rest of the story transpired. It was not until the whole picture was revealed that they could look back and see that He really cared for them far deeper than they had ever imagined before. Their joy and faith were then so overwhelming after Jesus accomplished His plans in their suffering that their previous despair was nothing by comparison.

This story was written for our benefit. We are going to face similar circumstances where it seems that God doesn't care, that He is ignoring our cries for help. But this event was intentionally allowed by Jesus for this very purpose, to encourage us when all the evidence seems designed to drive us into despair. It is trusting in God when nothing seems to make sense that is an effective faith. It is choosing to grant God permission to act in our lives in the ways which He sees best that allows Him to do things for us far beyond our wildest dreams when it all comes out in the end. It is this kind of relationship, the one Martha chose by believing in Jesus in spite of her emotions, that transforms our sorrows into joy.

The Sovereign LORD has filled me with his Spirit. He has chosen me and sent me to bring good news to the poor, to heal the broken-hearted, to announce release to captives and freedom to those in prison. He has sent me to proclaim that the time has come when the LORD will save his people and defeat their enemies. He has sent me to comfort all who mourn, to give to those who mourn in Zion joy and gladness instead of grief, a song of praise instead of sorrow. They will be like trees that the LORD himself has planted. They will all do what is right, and God will be praised for what he has done.

(Isa 61:1-3 GNB)

Sequence for Life

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)

I just finished reading a sermon about the theories of why Jesus had to die. It was well thought out and stimulating and insightful. Upon finishing that article I opened my Bible to meditate again on this story of Lazarus and the first thing I read were these verses again. In the context of what I just finished reading these verses suddenly take on even more significance.

What I am starting to see now is a two-stage process of being returned to life that Jesus may be describing here. First of all Jesus refers to the fact that He Himself is both the origin of life, the only valid Source of life that exists, and also that even where death is present Jesus, as the originator of life can bring life back even when it has been taken away. There is no limitation on God's part as to His ability to produce life, and death from God's perspective is not an insurmountable enemy like we tend to view it.

But just because God has all the capability and power and desire to bring life into places of death, it does not follow that this is what is always going to happen. After explaining His own role as the ultimate life-giver, Jesus next exposes one of the most vital elements of the mix by talking about belief. And why is belief in Jesus/God so important?

It has to do with the issue of love and the nature of what true love is and how it operates and exists. Most people have not understood the truth about love and confuse it with amorous feelings or even lust. But true love is radically different than what most of us have ever experienced that we termed love. True love is totally selfless, but more than that real love values our freedom to reject or accept it more than anything else. Without this freedom to spurn love, to turn away from love and even to abuse it if we choose, love itself cannot exist or be experienced.

God is love itself. Everything God does, thinks or acts out is an expression of true love. Because of this reality and the nature of love itself, God has the greatest regard for our right to make our own choices. God is fiercely protective of our right to choose because He wants us to be able to respond to His love. Belief is a word intimately involved in this formula for life, for what we choose to believe about God and His intents, His character and His desires concerning us makes all the difference in the world as to how much God is allowed to do in saving us. If we choose to really believe in God's true love for us, enough to submit ourselves without reservation to everything He asks us to do, trusting that He has our best in mind all the time, then God is given permission in the supernatural realm to do all sorts of things in our lives that He is prohibited from doing without our vital permission.

On the other hand, if we choose to cling to lies about God circulated by His enemy and allow those lies to prejudice us against God and turn away from His offers of love and discipline, then God cannot finish bringing healing and life or restore us back to wholeness as He longs to do through the plan of salvation. He is limited by our own choices to barricade our hearts against His attractions of love for us and ends up watching us self-destruct as we wither away disconnected from the only Source of power that available to keep us alive.

It now is making more sense to me why Jesus put these elements in the sequence that He did in these phrases. Here is what I see Jesus saying to Martha and to all who are willing to pay attention.

I am the resurrection and the life – Jesus is the great and only power source that exists for anyone to remain alive, both for those who are currently alive and hope for those who have died.

he who believes in Me – Anyone who chooses to lay aside their fears and turn away from the lies about Him will be reconnected with this vital source of power, of life, of love.

he who believes in Me will live – The result of choosing to connect with Life in Christ is the establishment of something like an umbilical cord through which regenerating life is allowed to flow into our lives and even into our physical bodies as well. A person upon connecting with Jesus through trust in Him begins to come alive. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

even if he dies – Even if a person's physical body dies that vital but hidden umbilical cord is not lost though it may for a period be inactive while they sleep in the grave. That person's eternal existence after the resurrection when they receive a new and much better body is guaranteed. Their choice to embrace the Source of Life as their dependence and trust His heart in implicit obedience brings them into vital connection with the presence of Life and frees them from the doom of eternal death to live with Him forever even if they fall asleep in death here on earth.

everyone who lives and believes in Me – All who have ever come into existence, who have been endowed with the power of choice and have chosen to turn away from the lies about God circulated by His enemy and have chosen to trust His love and His ways in their life are brought into this class of people Jesus refers to here.

will never die – Those who choose to be part of the above-described group will never experience the second death that comes from rejecting God's offer of life. This is the death that heaven calls death, not like the sleep that occurs when we die today.

This belief is not just a mental assent kind of belief that Jesus is talking about here; this is a deliberate choice to trust in God's goodness, fairness, righteousness, mercy, forgiveness and dangerous purity. Why is it vital we believe in God's dangerous purity and holiness? Because coming into close proximity with the intensity of God's powerful presence without being first brought into harmony with His purity is a disastrous idea that always results in death.

To believe in God and in Jesus is not just an intellectual decision though that is important. Jesus is talking about coming into harmony with the will of God for us, submitting our will to be molded within His will, surrendering our resistance to Him and allowing Him to flush out our rebellion and sinful, selfish desires, replacing them with character traits and a disposition in full harmony with the source of Life. To live forever in the presence of Jesus requires a belief that goes far beyond theory, a belief that is totally transforming in every part of our thinking and living. But it is also a work that only God can accomplish as we allow Him to dwell within us by our trust in His heart.

Too many have assumed that being saved for eternity is little more than a legal issue that can be settled by intellectually accepting a 'substitute punishment' born by Jesus on the cross. But this is a very dangerous shortcut that has deceived millions and causes many to miss the most important issue in the controversy between Christ and Satan. The belief Jesus is talking about here in His conversation with Martha is a fully surrendered trust where we allow God to have full access to all of our being and our thinking and existence. It really is an all or nothing proposition. If we want to have life we have to embrace it fully in Christ. Anything less will end eventually in death.

The final part of Jesus' statements to Martha is the most important. Do you believe this?

Do I believe this? This is the great pivot point for my and everyone's eternal destiny – our personal and powerful ability to choose our own destiny for ourselves by how we choose to relate to Jesus' offer.