I am currently delving into a deeper understanding of the true meaning of the cross of Christ, how it relates to salvation and how it reveals God's heart.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Sermon Paraphrased - Gatesitter series

In Peter's sermon (Acts 3:12-26) I see repeated contrasts between what God has done and what “you” have done, revealing the true character of both. Our part or role in this is witnesses, not causes. I see Peter and John in essence saying, Don't look at us as the cause or origin of this miracle or the cause or origin of your problems. There are choices and consequences and we are simply witnesses testifying to what really is – the great I AM vs. the little you are. God identified Himself with your ancestors and identified Himself even more with Jesus. You renounced the link with Him through your ancestors by disowning and betraying Jesus in the presence of Pilate, the representative of this world's system of governance. You separated yourself from the Zone who was the essence of God – Holy and Righteous – even though you verbally claim to be righteous yourself. You instead identified yourself publicly with a murderer. In identifying and asking for a murderer in exchange for the life of the very Author of life, you became murderers yourself and entered into struggle against the Almighty over the life of Jesus. God gave Him life when all you gave was death. God is the source of all life and holiness and righteousness. Therefore He is worthy of trust which enables faith in His reputation. He is fully identified with Jesus and has designated Jesus to be the focal point of all faith and the Source and channel of all power, righteousness and salvation. The foundation, the bottom line, the basis of life here is have faith in the name of Jesus who is the perfect demonstration of what God is really like. Believing confidently in Jesus' demonstration of life-giving disposition is the reason and the channel that brought strength of soul and perfect body healing to this man that you can identify with so well. He is one of you and this was done right in your presence to demonstrate what God deeply desires to do for each one of you if you will change your attitude toward God.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Pentacostal Healing Sermon - Gatesitter series

Your focus of worship, what you depend on to bring you life and salvation has been your lineage from Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You have believed that because you are a Jew that you have the inside track to God and because you possess intellectual truth more than the others in the world that you can be saved by it. But it is not membership in a group or possession of piety or power that you need to be saved. It is an intimate, personal acquaintance with the author of life – Jesus the Messiah. He is the One that God has designated to be honored and worshiped. He is the One with a servant attitude, an attitude opposite yours, who spent time among you demonstrating the real truth about God. But in your religious blindness you disowned the very One who came to rescue you. You went so far as to force death onto the very Author of life. This should tell you something about what is inside of you. But God, the very essence of life, raised up the One you had killed and filled Him with even more glorious life. You are in a tug-o-war between life and death and you need to realize you are at the wrong end of the rope, the opposite end from where God is. Our part in this is not to condemn and judge you. Your own hearts will do that to you when you realize the truth. But that too will not save you. Our function is simply to testify to what we know and experience of the truth about God and His transformational work in our lives. It is the power that occurs by knowing and trusting Jesus that has been revealed in this man's heart as well as his body. When this man exercised faith in the revelation of the truth about God's attitude toward us as revealed in Jesus, he received healing, liberating, life-changing power right here in your presence. It all happened in the presence of you who still cling to death-producing attitudes. Why was this man healed? Because he opened his heart and mind to the real Source of life and God is glorifying His Son Jesus through this man. Now this man, like us, has become a true witness who can testify to you of first-hand experience of the truth about God. God, the true source of all life and blessing, has given this man perfect health in every way. That is what God delights to do and desires to do for everyone if they would only give Him permission by entering into a faith-producing submission to Him. Yes, This event has created great conflict and tension in your minds. You are feeling very guilty and convicted now that you see reality and your wicked attitude toward the real God. But even so, you have been ignorant of the truth about God. But you did not surprise Him when you killed His Son in ignorance and bigotry. He prophesied it all long ago. But now that you realize your true nature you need to act in the light of the true revelation of God and turn away from the lies, the prejudice, the false piety and self-centered religiosity. Turn to God, be transparent and honest with Him so that He can cleanse your hearts and minds of all this death-producing fear, guilt and condemnation. As you enter the presence of God you will experience wonderful times of refreshing renewal. He will fill you with life and joy and peace. This is not a new religion. This truth about what is real and God's relationship toward us is actually the true understanding of our own history. Moses himself, the one you revere as a champion of your legalism, actually believed and prophesied about this very thing. He believed in Jesus himself. In fact, the law itself that came through Moses warns you that if you do not heed this revelation to your heart you will be cut off from God's people. All of your prophets have uniformly looked forward to Jesus and the true means of salvation if you understand them from God's point of view. You yourselves are privileged to be descendants of these very prophets. You are already privileged to be in this covenant relationship with God through which God intends to bless all the families of the earth, not just Jews. You are right now in the very unique position of already being in this blood covenant and to be first in line to receive God's blessing directed to you through His Servant/Son Jesus. This blessing comes by Jesus turning each of you away from wickedness, fighting against life and God, toward the true source of life and health and real peace.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Amazement or Unbelief - Gatesitter series

Amazement is often an external symptom of internal unbelief. If we believed the truth about God's real desires for us we would not be so much amazed as overjoyed when we see it enacted in our lives. Peter realized that the people needed to get past amazement to focusing on Jesus (in his response to healing the lame beggar). If they stayed in amazement they were resisting belief. The reason you are amazed is because you have always falsely believed that personal piety would produce power to work miracles. You believe in perfectionism and worth based on genealogy. This miracle doesn't fit your criteria of qualifications. It confronts many of your foundational religious assumptions. As humans just like you we do not possess power or piety that invokes power from heaven. It is not even our forefather's piety that empowered this miracle. The Source of all power and all piety is farther back than our ancestors – it is God Himself. And in your supposed piety and obsession with power you disowned Him by rejecting His Son. Your piety led you to choose a murderer over the Son of God. Your idea of power led you to kill the very Author of Life Himself. (Acts 3:12-16)

Monday, March 6, 2006

Gatesitter scene 6 - Power and Piety

“...as if by our own power or piety we had made him walk? (Acts 3:12) The paradigm of humanity is the craving for these elements to be the source of salvation. We want POWER – lots of power, overwhelming power to FORCE change. We want to be so powerful we can intimidate others into compliance with our beliefs or wishes. We believe power is the answer to sin and pain and dysfunction, but we don't understand the way God uses power. We want power to establish our plans. We use power in the context of fear. Even our promotion of God is usually based on fear, the wrong kind of fear induced by the lies about how He uses power. In the same vein many believe that piety is the answer and the means of salvation. This belief is far more subtle and dangerous because it appears so righteous and religious. It is picked right off the Good side of the Tree of Knowledge. It sometimes promotes itself as the more noble approach to successful religious life than power. It is viewed by some as stronger than forcing others into conformity. It is usually centered in forcing one's self into religious compliance with an endless list of expectations and achievements that must be performed to satisfy the demands of holiness. It is assumed that if enough piety is generated in the life then supernatural events will begin to occur as a result to validate their accomplishments of piety. These miracles, it is believed, will be given as acknowledgment of this person's growing proximity to the perfection of God. If a person can achieve a high enough, pure enough piety before God and men then God will begin to answer their prayers more often and will endow them with power to perform miracles so that others will recognize and acknowledge their achievement of successful piety. At this point it is believed that their piety and corresponding power will produce amazement, wonder and awe in other people that will be their witness as others focus on their accomplishments. People will appreciate and honor them for their righteousness and God will be more pleased and/or less angry with them. Because the lame – now healed man was probably very aware of this theology at least intuitively, he understandably found himself clinging to the ones who had apparently healed him. As the crowd quickly thickened and the amazement intensified he felt not only pressure from the publicity of his transformed identity but felt obligated to steer all the attention and glory away from himself to not only God but onto Peter and John. It appeared that, according to the evidence and based on religious assumptions, these men must have somehow figured out the right formula of piety to unlock the power of God. Thus the crowds were ready and eager to perform their role by heaping praise and glory on these men for their piety and accomplishments. They were also eager to find out the secret formula for themselves so they too could exercise this kind of power. Thus the situation was urgent and ripe for Peter and John to clarify what was reality and what was false assumptions about religion and God's ways. At this point they seized on the opportunity to launch into a most powerful expose´ of the truth and God's real plan for His children. It was time for people to hear the real good news.

Sunday, March 5, 2006

Gatesitter scene 5 - Focus

He began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. This is exactly what they requested of him. While it is true that he had never been presented with an opportunity to be healed before, it was equally true that he could miss this opportunity if he did not focus his attention on what was being offered him. Focus has multiple implications. Inherently focus means tuning out all other demands for attention, no matter how apparently important or urgent. Focus means actively discipling the thought and emotions to be directed at only one person or thing. Focus demands active participation and an exercise of choice, to use the “kingly” power of our will. Focus also implies an object of focus. He had probably focused many times on different things: his bitterness over being lame, his poverty, his helplessness, his parents, potential sources of income... He was likely under heavy influence of the spirit of Mammon. He was focused on doing whatever it took to try to get money so he could eek out a living. After years of fruitless attempts to better himself by focusing on different sources of help and hope for his life, he may have come to the place where he hardly cared to focus on anything anymore outside himself. Hope itself was slipping away, especially after Jesus the healer had been killed, and deep depression and hopelessness was settling into his soul like a thickening fog. Everything was now viewed through a deepening mist and there was very little reason left to even continue living. All his hopes and dreams had been swallowed up by the relentless approaching fog and he was settling into a mindless routine of just surviving to beg for one more day. So when Peter and John suddenly stopped in front of this man's lowered head and insisted that he look them straight in the eyes, it came to him like a shaft of sunlight bolting through a rift in the clouds. They asked for the one and only thing from this man that is the only thing any person genuinely owns that can be offered to another as a gift – the gift of his undivided attention. They were already giving him this gift themselves and they asked him to respond likewise. If he chose not to respond to their request because of choosing to remain in his self-pity and despondency, he would not have placed himself in the position to receive the far greater gifts they had to offer him. They did not offer him more of what he thought he needed. Instead they wanted to re-awaken the original dreams and hopes that he had now given up as unrealistic for his life. God had placed the hope for healing in his heart originally. God had inspired him to want to dance and twirl and leap for joy like some of the little children he used to observe. There had been a time in his life when he was a friend of many of the children who played around the temple area. He had listened to them and been a friend to them as they had shared their sympathy and their own hearts with him. But lately even the children didn't come around much because they found him too depressing. He was more alone than ever and wondered why God wouldn't just let him die.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Lessons From the Gatesitter

He sat every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful. How very many of us also sit every day in the presence of the Beauty of God while spending most all of our time focusing on our selves, our crippled condition, our needs and desiring pity from those around us who enter on into His glory. We see ourselves as cripples, unworthy and unable to go to God. We are content to resign ourselves to sitting outside the gate of beauty and just beg for dropping crumbs from the rich blessings others receive from Him. We live off a pitance of the blessings of others. We may be sometimes even jealous of their freedom and gladness but believe it cannot be ours to experience. We need a Peter and John to come to us and demand our undivided attention to pry our focus away from our impossibilities to God's boundless desires for us. The lame man was living and asking for money to provide an existence for himself. He was content, though not satisfied, to eek out a bleak existence on the leftovers from others. But God had much greater plans for his life. Peter and John did not offer him more of the same. He thought that money was his need. But they wanted to break his dependence on thinking money would solve his problems to realize God's real passion for his heart. God wanted his life to glorify His Son Jesus. God's heart wanted him to run, to dance, to celebrate wildly in the presence of God's goodness. God wanted him to trust in Jesus for satisfaction instead of depending on his begging. God wanted to make him a spectacle of amazement and wonder beyond his own wildest dreams. God desired to jolt the whole city into a new picture of reality, a reality of God's true desires that He wanted everyone to accept and experience in their own lives. This experience of God's reality was already being enjoyed by thousands of animated, excited believers. But God's heart yearns to draw everyone into His powerful embrace of love. Reality ws breaking out of the fictional world of rigid religion and anything was now possible if people would just believe in God's goodness and His salvation. He wanted to pour down blessings like heavy rain if only people would just choose to believe – if we will just choose to believe.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Gatesitter scene 4

It would be interesting to observe the shifting sentiments and moods of the public passing in and out of the temple from the lame man's perspective. How many years had he begged outside the temple? Likely since long before Jesus started His ministry. Surely he had overheard its and pieces of conversations from passers-by about all sorts of things. If he was felt a lot of shame and was somewhat withdrawn he may have pondered his observations alone in his heart. If he was more open and socialized he may have even engaged different ones with questions, dialogging with those who were sympathetic enough to stop and converse with him occasionally. How could he have missed all the disturbing events that had so challenged the status quo of society in and around the temple. Jesus had personally emptied out the temple twice in less than four years which could not have gone unnoticed by one who begged just outside its gate. Many times Jesus passed in and out of the temple Himself and performed many acts of healing in its vicinity. If the lame man had been begging there all that time it would be very hard to miss the stories and rumors. Or maybe this lame man was new to the area. Maybe he was brought in recently by friends in hope of healing only to find out they were too late, that Jesus had been crucified and the era of miracles was apparently over. However, this idea does fit well with verse ten where people were apparently quite familiar with him. Verse two says he was set down every day at the gate of the temple implying this had been going on a considerable time. This man must have had hope stirred within him during the years of Jesus' ministry. He very possibly may have narrowly missed a number of opportunities for healing from Jesus directly. He had to have know something about Jesus and His character from all the circulating reports. He must have been somewhere not terribly far from the events of Passover weekend just past. He must have felt the cold chill of the triumph of legalism and religious traditions that were quickly enforced in and around the temple after that turning point. The hardliners and purists of Judaism likely would have taken strong measures to reinforce the rules and regulations that had been challenged and weakened by Jesus and many who had been influenced by His teachings and example. He must have noticed, if any had passed by him at the gate, the smug attitudes of the many Pharisees and priests on their pious and pompous trips in and out of the temple the past few weeks. There may have been a crackdown in the temple area and very possibly a spat of new regulations to prevent a disruption of the comfortable traditions imposed by the elite. God had to be served with strictness and exactness or the Jews were in danger of bringing down His wrath on them. The temple police may have been required to be re-trained with stricter controls instituted to prevent future outbursts of “celebration” and other such unauthorized activities from occurring in the temple. For a few weeks it appeared that the hardliners had gained the victory they so craved. “Undesirables” were barred from entering the temple area and all discussion of the subversive theology and activities of the renegade Jesus were quickly squelched. Religion was on track once again to be returned to the “old ways”, strict enforcement of the traditions of the elders and strong controls to keep everyone “in line” so they could one again focus on the true “goal” of the nation – achieving perfection and holy living, at least for the “favored” ones. While many of the leaders were openly pleased with the new strictness and reforms, much of the public was experiencing widespread despair and a more intense feeling of hopelessness. The lame man was very likely also deeply affected by this shift in public sentiment. After the crucifixion of Jesus the sense of hope and joy that had been seeping deeper into the hearts of thousands all across the country seemed to have been cruelly snatched away by an elite group of corrupt, self-righteous, arrogant men who only cared about power and wealth for themselves. Jesus was gone, despite swirling mixed rumors of a possible resurrection. His followers were very seldom seen and rumor had it they had stayed mostly holed up together in a large room where they had spent their last night together with Jesus before His death. Talk about clinging to the past! These people seemed to be desperately hanging onto must memories. No deliverance from the Romans had even been attempted by this professed Messiah. He just knuckled under both to the corrupt Jewish leadership and to the Romans when He meekly let them have their way with Him in the garden. For about two months everything was really looking grim and hopeless. The conversations of temple-goers was limited and moody. In fact, attendance of temple services had dropped off dramatically. People were bitter and angry and were even becoming much more cynical. This made begging much more difficult with sympathy and compassion becoming more and more rare among the public. Both emotionally and financially things had become very bleak for the lame man. He was barely surviving and hope was fast dying completely within his heart. But an explosion of rumors and animated comments occurred on the day of the Jewish Pentecost. And the days following that saw an upsurge in new people with a strange glow of joy on their faces frequenting the temple on a regular basis. They were gushing with praise for God and could not suppress their animation and joy. It seemed contagious and indeed their numbers were quickly mushrooming. They were eager to enter the temple and though he wasn't sure what they were doing in there, reports began to leak out of “temple incidents” and complaints of “disturbing the peace”. The Pharisees and other hardliners seemed to be even more ill-tempered than usual. Something new was definitely underway again challenging the status quo. But the lame man could hardly afford to allow his hopes to rise again. They had been disappointed and dashed so many times before and he felt he could not emotionally survive another crushing disappointment. Better to just keep his head down and accept his fate and let the world pass on with whatever it wanted to do without him.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Gatesitter scene 3

As far as blessing goes, the lame man had never experienced the impartation of blessing so important to every man received at a Bar-Mitzvah. His father was not really proud of him like other fathers – after all, he was deformed. So he was not seated on a chair and lifted up and honored before all to see by his father as a special and important son. His heart was as crippled as his legs, even from birth. For when his parents saw his crippled legs at birth their anguish and feelings of repulsion began the life-long damage to his soul. Peter and John had only very recently experienced their own full “release” into manhood, not through an earthly Bar-Mitzvah ceremony but through the baptism of the Holy Ghost at Pentecost. This powerful experience that had transformed them along with 118 others had really been the very first Bar-Barakah, which means “son of the blessing”. They were now overflowing with blessing, the very identity and presence of Jesus, the Son of God, living full force inside of them. Everything else was of little importance to them now. Money was valueless except as a tool to bless their rapidly growing “family”. Their primary currency now was praise for God. Their primary mode of relationship was transparent unity and openness with every person in their new family. Their primary emotion was joy – intense gladness to share life together with every believer in Jesus. They had become high-volume receivers of God's blessing and were wide open to dispensing His blessings as they were received. They let Jesus be in charge of who to add to their family, for only Jesus could know what hearts were ready and safe to bring into His body. Peter and John were simply living in joy, celebrating the goodness of God, and staying constantly tuned to their born-again spirit to know who God wanted them to invite into the family next. When they laid eyes on the lame man they saw far more than a crippled man that could use healing so he could walk like everyone else. The Spirit notified them that this man was starved in his spirit and was ripe to invite. Peter and John were together in fellowship and joy. This man was alone most of the time except for the friends who carried him around. But these friends had never carried him to Jesus like the friends of the paralytic had done. This man was ripe for a new identity as well as a new body. This man would become Exhibit A in the case for Jesus' reputation.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Gatesitter scene 2

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o'clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms. Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, "Look at us." (Acts 3:1-4 NRSV) This man was doing what he usually did; looking for potential donors with enough sympathy to respond to his obvious needs and give him money. This is what he did day in and day out. He may have been returning after the heat of the day just in time for the “rush” when people would be entering the temple for the traditional time of afternoon prayers. Before he had even gotten settled into his usual place he spotted Peter and John with faces different from most people he was used to seeing. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to tag anyone with this much potential he hit them up for a hand-out. The response that he received was not exactly what he was expecting, but got his attention more than his typical interaction with passer-bys. Instead of dropping a few coins into his cup to quiet their conscience and hurrying along to avoid further contact, Peter and John stopped in their tracks and insisted on a full face, deliberate interaction. They refused to settle for a hurried, impersonal excuse to avoid one whom most people preferred to ignore. They “looked intently” at him and requested his undivided attention before offering him something much better than what he was looking for. In effect they were saying, “Look at us! Allow your mind to focus on the present with all of its pain and disappointment. But also focus outside yourself for hope and contrast. Give us the gift of your undivided attention and you will prepare yourself to receive the gift of the very presence and power of Jesus. “We have this gift within us. It is the most valuable possession on earth and we are eager to give it to you. This gift is the blessing of your identity that Jesus wants to give you. It is much more than healing your legs as valuable as that may be; it is making you full, rich in confidence and joy, satisfied in your soul. And His presence will cause you to realize the fulfillment of all the deepest longings God has planted inside of you.” And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; (Acts 3:7-9 NAS95) Peter and John physically engaged with him with gusto and with joy. It says the seized him by his right hand. Maybe he had timidly, fearfully held out his hand to them hoping to receive some pittance of money. But in a sudden gesture of hope and with anticipation on their faces, together they seized his hand and pulled hard on him raising him not only onto his feet but out of darkness and despair into delirious joy and freedom. His body was immediately healed to match the healing of his soul and he was now empowered to become a witness along with them of God's amazing grace, goodness and power. What is recorded next is very interesting and significant. First of all he entered the temple with Peter and John, something he had never before been able or allowed to do even though he was a Jew. Because of his lameness he was barred from entering the temple courts and participating in the worship of his people's God. But now, with wild abandon and undignified expressions of wild joy he entered the temple “walking and leaping and praising God,” something you would likely not find anyone else doing in this solemn place. In fact, it was so out of place that it is interesting to note that the people could only observe him “walking and praising God”, not leaping. This was so far beyond acceptable behavior they could not even bring themselves to admit that it was really happening right in front of them. “...and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.” (Acts 3:10) People were trying to label him with his old identity. They were filled with wonder and amazement not only at his physical healing but that it was even possible for someone to receive such a radical new identity after so many years of his previous depressed, hopeless identity. No wonder he was clinging to Peter and John. He was under tremendous pressure to discount his new identity received from the blessing he had just experienced. He felt a great need to stay very close to those who understood their own new identities until he was stabilized enough in his own experience. He was an infant in need of nurture and protection from those who had just assisted in his new birth.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Gatesitter scene 1

I've been fascinated by the story of Peter, John and the lame man at the gate found in Acts 3. the man had been carried along all his life. He was lame from his mother's womb. He had received lameness from his parents; it wasn't his fault. But it was the only identity he was aware of and he had become just as lame socially, emotionally and spiritually as he was physically. He had sat all his life while wishing he could be free. He had become depressed and disconnected from those around him to avoid increasing his emotional pain. He felt deep shame and lived it out by begging, groveling for mercy from others who often ignored and gave him more shame.

He avoided eye contact with everyone because he felt worthless and helpless. Nearly everyone continually sent him identity messages that were deeply ingrained in his psyche – that he was just a pitiful beggar who sat all the time sponging his living off of others. No one was glad to be with him. No one wanted to touch or hold him close. No one cared about his heart and his feelings. This was who he was. This was all he knew.

And although in his fantasies he wished he could be free, everything believed by people around him said that change was impossible. His problems were too big to surmount. The best he should expect is to entice sympathetic friends to help him cope with his disability and just accept life as it had been dealt him. He was resigned to his fate. He would just spend his time outside the gate of God's house taking advantage of the heavier traffic at this location to beg.

His heart and soul longed to see inside the temple and be able to worship and praise God freely in His house like others. He wistfully desired to throw himself with complete abandon into worship and adoration of a merciful and loving Father. But was there even such a God like that? The God he had been taught about all his life was not very merciful and compassionate. This God of the Pharisees blessed the “good religious” people and cursed sinners and their children with sickness, physical defects and poverty. The God of the Jews according to the religious teachers was arbitrary and insisted on strict obedience to thousands of detailed regulations to earn His favor.

This man was shut out from God by stern rules enforced by stern people. And now he had nearly given up all hope. God must view him as too unworthy to heal. After all, for 3 ½ years Jesus had healed people all around the area and stories abounded of other lame men set free and made whole. But he had never been selected. He had always been passed by or was in the wrong place and missed every opportunity to see Jesus himself.

And now Jesus had been crucified and was no longer around. The future looked darker than ever. He was now resigned to just existing and accepting his lot in life. This must be his destiny. This must be God's will.

Sometimes as he sat outside the temple or was being carried by his few friends he would watch little children playing, running and laughing in the streets and alleys. This always created a deep aching in his heart. He felt a little envious of the freedom that little children seemed to enjoy in their spirit as well as their bodies. They seemed so uninhibited when adults were not frowning over them, and could express their joy not only with shouts and laughter but were not ashamed to celebrate just being alive with spontaneous dancing, leaping and running with glee. How he longed not only to be able to physically be free but to emotionally celebrate life like an excited innocent little child bursting with life and happiness and joy.

(click here for scene 2)

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Bible Exploration Series

The Book of Romans - start here Bitter Roots - Hebrews 12 - start here The Gatesitter - start here