Facets of Unbelief

Jesus said, "Remove the stone." Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to Him, "Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days." (John 11:39)

He said... she said.

He says, but I say...

Nearly every time I open to this passage now these words of Jesus are the first thing that jump out to grab my attention. And every time I read them I feel a conviction that I am still not really grasping enough of their significance and applying it for my own life.

There is far more in here than I am seeing, and I am seeing a lot already. But it is not so much logical explanations or expositions that need to be exposed in this passage as it is heart messages and warnings about intellectualizing truth instead of believing. And God knows that is a real struggle for me.

Jesus said, "Remove the stone."

Jesus says – and keeps saying – to remove whatever obstacles keep blocking Him from doing what seems to me to be nearly impossible. Yet like Martha I keep going back to what is logical, what makes more sense from my frame of reference.

How many times I find myself telling God about my feelings of worthlessness, how much my habits and history inhibit my ability to change, how stuck I feel. Yet He patiently keeps reminding me that my view of reality is not only very limited but is terribly distorted and biased by many factors, not the least of which is my deeply-ingrained selfishness. But I suspect that possibly the biggest obstacle is my unbelief, my lack of confidence to trust that God always knows best and actually loves me no matter how circumstances may make me feel. I feel very uneasy to let go and my wanting to stay in control of my own life causes me to argue with God instead of joyfully rushing to push away the stones guarding the dark places of my heart.

Stones/rocks were symbols of God all throughout the Old Testament. So when Jesus commanded to have the stone pushed aside He was in essence also asking people to push aside their preconceived ideas about God and allow Jesus to introduce them to the real truth about God.

Jesus says,

Let go of your ideas of what I am like and let me show you something radically new, fresh and life-changing about myself.

But I say,

Lord, You don't completely understand my situation. You don't know how bad things really are in my heart. If I take away the defenses that protect others from seeing what's inside me the stench will be overwhelming and others will see how bad I really am and will not like me anymore. I don't think that is a very good idea, Jesus.

Jesus says,

Remove the habits and crutches that provide you with a false illusion of security, that you depend on for your sense of identity is not what I want you to trust. It is necessary for you to let of of your resistance to my entrance before I can introduce a new infusion of life into the dark, rotting, shameful places deep inside of you.

But I say,

Lord, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. How am I supposed to know what You might do if I move this protective stone and make myself so vulnerable? Other people are around here too and I would be terribly humiliated if they also see what is really deep inside that I have been hiding so successfully.

Jesus says,

Remove the stone that is so hardening your heart that God doesn't have permission to intervene in your life. Trust me on this, for it is only in trusting and obeying even when your feelings and fears all pressure you in the opposite direction that you will be able to see and experience the real power and glory of God.

But I say...

Well, just how long do I want to keep playing this dangerous game of hiding my ugliness from God anyway? I said previously that I wanted Him to come and heal me, to fix my situation. But He didn't do it the way I wanted Him to and now I am a bit miffed with Him. O.K. I am really upset with Him if I am willing to admit how I feel deep down inside.

Why wasn't He here when I wanted and needed Him most? Why doesn't He answer my prayers and give me relief from my pain, my shame, my confusion when I ask? Why does He seem to wait so long before He even shows up, and then when He does come He wants to do everything different than what I expect Him to do for me? And why doesn't He just communicate the way I want Him to and come out and explain to me clearly what He plans to do so I won't be kept guessing as to how to plan my life?

Oh, this is resonating all too deeply in my own heart even as I write these things. I find it flowing from my mind so easily that I can't hide the fact that I am really quite in sympathy with Martha more than with the perspective of Jesus. But then, I sense that I first must get totally honest before I can move forward very much. Jesus did not condemn Martha for resorting to logic and trying to reason with Him from her very limited mindset. But neither did He allow her to remain unchallenged in her assumptions or have the last word. Rather He challenged her to let Him be the definer of what is real, what is possible and what is true. He wants to have our trust no matter what.

Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)

Practical Belief

So they removed the stone. Then Jesus raised His eyes, and said, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. (John 11:41)

I have been observing some of the dynamics swirling around in this story. I have noticed the intense darkness of unbelief and even hostility on the part of some of those present that blended together to create a nearly insurmountable wall of obstacles more difficult to overcome than the stone covering the mouth of the cave where Lazarus lay. I have observed the contrast between the view of reality that Jesus maintained with the more familiar views of reality assumed by His disciples, by His close friends and by His enemies. It is this huge disparity between what is truly real and what is assumed to be real that caused the deep heaviness in the heart of Jesus resulting in His public tears.

Jesus was able to find one person that responded with enough belief to cautiously and tentatively agree with God's perceptions of what was going on, at least to a limited degree. While Martha could not yet push her own imagination very far outside of what seemed possible in her thinking, she was willing to openly make a confession of faith and agree with Jesus enough to provide Him with necessary permission to move ahead in this situation. That was sufficient to let Him proceed although I am certain Jesus longed to find more than just one person who might join Martha in her choice to trust. My heart wonders as I read this what must have been going through the mind of Mary during all of this. But according to the account it was only Martha that actually stepped forward to openly trust Jesus even in the face of seeming impossibilities.

I notice too that nearly all of the dialog in this part of the story is with Martha. Mary comes to repeat Martha's anguished reminder that from their perspective Jesus had failed to respond in time to their desperate request for Him to heal their brother. But throughout this very emotional story it was only Martha who maintained open dialog with Jesus. I don't think this point is insignificant.

But today I notice some other things that I feel are vital for me to learn and internalize from this story. How did Jesus effectively face the enormous mass of unbelief that surrounded Him there? What method did He employ, what disposition did He maintain to overcome and address the darkness that was seeking to suffocate the light of hope and truth that He had come to reveal about God?

Just performing a spectacular miracle is not really too effective as was proven repeatedly throughout the life of Jesus. Only recently He had performed a stunning miracle by healing a man blind from birth. But there was more heated debate than belief generated by that miracle and for those determined to resist what Jesus wanted to convey that miracle had only produced more hostility rather than trust. Upon examination of the gospels it becomes clear that miracles are not the answer that many think they could be. A miracle may be a sign of supernatural power but does not change the direction of the heart. And it is the heart that God is most interested in winning, not a mere acknowledgment that He has more power than we have.

When Jesus arrived at the cave surrounded by people filled with various emotions as well as some with deep skepticism about Jesus Himself He asked them to remove the stone that symbolized the many obstacles that still largely remained in their own hearts. But then how did Jesus proceed from that point? What was the most important thing He could do to deal with the pervading spirit that was set in opposition to Him under these circumstances?

What seems surprising at first but shows up repeatedly throughout the whole Bible is what Jesus does next, the very first thing that comes out of His mouth.

Jesus gives thanks to His Father.

Rather than seeking to change people's minds about Him, Jesus openly demonstrates what real belief looks like. But there is more. Jesus does not just sharpen His focus on gratitude and praise to His Father but He reinforces that by explaining in His prayer why He is doing it publicly. It is because everyone needs to be sure to get the point. In the very next verse Jesus in conversation with His Father states for everyone's benefit who is listening that He wants them to pay particular attention to the fact that He is giving thanks and that He has full assurance that God always hears Him even though nothing has changed yet in their circumstances.

I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me. (verse 42)

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

In the face of overwhelming unbelief blanketing the hearts all in His hearing, Jesus gives thanks in the face of impossibilities. And John recorded this for all those who would struggle to believe for centuries afterwards. Jesus demonstrates explicitly here what it looks like to believe and act out that belief. For the sake of all of us who live in confusion and fear and doubts about God's care and love for us as reflected in the hearts of the people in this story, Jesus Himself makes the ultimate confession of faith in His Father to model to us what real belief/faith looks like from the inside out. I would like to put His expression of faith into my own lingo:

Father, of course I already know You are listening and I personally have no doubt whatsoever that Your caring heart is always intensely interested in everything about my life. There is no question in my heart that You know all about this situation and that You only have good plans for all of us in our pain. But because so many people around me are still questioning whether You really care about them and as a result have deep reservations about trusting Your heart, I am speaking this openly so they can be drawn deeper into the kind of saving trust in You that I enjoy in Your love all the time.

Father, I have been demonstrating a radically different picture of You to these people than what anyone here on earth has assumed You are like. Most find it very hard to reconcile their perceptions of You with how I act and relate to them. Many of them are beginning to appreciate the compassion and kindness and gentleness that I have demonstrated towards them, but they find my example incompatible with how they feel that You relate to them. Because of this many are resisting my statements that You sent me to show them that You feel exactly the same way about them as I have been demonstrating. Some like what they see in me but they find it difficult to bring themselves to believe that God is like me and that You sent me to demonstrate explicitly how You relate to them and how You want them to perceive You.

So Father, in what we are about to do together here to demonstrate even more clearly how great Your love is for all of us – greater than what anyone here has ever dared to imagine – I am publicly thanking You and praising You for who You are and what You are like so people through my words and my demonstration here will be moved to trust You more readily. I want them to learn to praise You in the face of difficulties rather than waiting until things improve to engage in gratitude. Father, I am thanking You now even though externally nothing has changed. In faith we have pushed aside the grave stone, the last physical obstacle that remains in the way of You exhibiting Your love through a glorious exhibition of what You long to do in our lives all the time.

Yes, that is a very long paraphrase of the simple prayer of Jesus in front of Lazarus' tomb. But I see this and more in the compact statement that Jesus made in His words and reflected in the expectant animated glow I am sure could have been seen on His face as He turned His eyes away from the darkness and evidences of death toward the light of heaven and focused on the face of His Father.

Notice that it specifically mentions that Jesus raised His eyes. Again, it is not incidental that these words were included in this narrative. Jesus was modeling how to face difficult situations for each one of us follow His example. He turned His attention away from the problem and lifted His eyes to the One who is far above the limitations of all of our difficulties. Then He deliberately choose to pour out a litany of praise and gratitude to disperse the darkness of unbelief and resistance against the truth about God. He affirmed and reminded everyone listening that God cares, God listens, God is interested. It is vital that we acknowledge these things that so that He may have permission to intervene even more in our lives.

In my persistent search for the true meaning and understanding of the essence of belief that John wanted to convey through his gospel, I am starting to think this may be one of the best places yet that I have come across that make it plain to my own understanding. As I continue to meditate on this story and allow it to increase its impact on my own heart, I see more and more of these vital elements that need to be practiced in my own circumstances if I want to live a life of real faith.

• I need to pay attention to what I allow my eyes and my imagination to feed on and realize how much that impacts my ability to trust the heart of God.
• I need to intentionally engage in much more deliberate gratitude and thanksgiving. I need to cultivate a spirit of praise, to be more expressive in thanksgiving both to God and to others far more than I do.
• I need to take a public stand clearly establishing that I am trusting in God, publicly confessing my intimate relationship with Him without giving in to the intimidation from others who want me to feel ashamed about that.
• And most of all I want to have a heart that ceases to doubt that God's heart is always for me and never against me. I may frequently come under conviction by His Spirit that my actions or thoughts or attitudes are not in harmony with Him. But I need to remember that my malfunctions are not my identity, but that is a lesson very hard for me to embrace even after years of learning otherwise. My true identity and value is only found in perceiving myself through the eyes of the Father who always loves me, listens to me and cares more deeply about me than my mind or heart is even able to grasp.

Father, thank-you again for warming my heart with fresh revelations from Your Word. You are so faithful, and through the example of Your Son that You sent to demonstrate the real truth about You to us, I am seeing again how You want me to relate to You when things seem very dark and unbelief presses in on my heart. I choose to turn my attention and gaze upward, both to avoid the distractions that keep me confused about You and to focus my attention more deliberately on the real truth about who You really are.

Help me to be far more frequent in my expressions of praise for You, to not be intimidated by what others think about me but to confess our intimate relationship openly and make it plain that I am choosing Your truth over the lies about You that swirl all around me. Father, make me a better, clearer channel of the truth about You through the way I treat people, the way I act and speak and communicate in every way. Continue to transform me so that others will be more readily attracted to want to know You because of the joy they will be able to see in my relationship with You.

Father, thank-you for always listening to me even when my feelings don't detect that or reflect that reality. Thank-you for Your faithful love, mercy, kindness and compassion. Fill my life with Your Spirit and make me more reflective of what You are like, for Your reputations sake, Amen.

Faith First

Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" So they removed the stone.... (John 11:40-41)

I want to personalize the lessons that I am finding in this story so that they will have the effect in my own life of causing me to believe in Jesus the way He wanted His friends to believe in Him then.

Yesterday I explored the idea of obstacles that prevent us from believing. In this story it was the stone in front of the grave that represented the unbelief that was the main obstacle Jesus was seeking to surmount so that God's glory, the truth about His goodness and how He feels about sinners, might become evident and have compelling power to attract souls to Himself.

The underlying issue more important than any other in this battle between good and evil is the issue of what we believe about whether God really thinks about us. Does He really care or is He just interested in getting compliance to His arbitrary regulations and demands? Satan has generally convinced most of us that the latter is the case, but over the past few years I have been discovering that for my heart to really trust God, to come into the kind of belief that John talks about all throughout his gospel, I must revise my gut-level perceptions of God to see the truth about His fairness, His kindness, His compassion and His caring love for me personally.

There are any number of obstacles that prevent my heart from embracing these truths about God, inhibitors that need to be removed just like this stone was blocking Jesus from revealing the truth about God more fully in this story. When Martha, confused by her feelings, objected to the idea of removing the stone because she felt that it would only add to her pain to have the stench of her dead brother's rotting corpse come into the open reminding her of her loss, Jesus gently chided her that she needed to refocus her attention on what was more important. It was not the seemingly impossible problem of Lazarus being hopelessly dead that was the real problem here; it was the unwillingness of people to believe in the goodness of God, to believe that God genuinely cared about them no matter what circumstances might seem to indicate. Jesus reminded her that the stone was not really the biggest obstacle but the unbelief that she was still experiencing that needed to be set aside. When the unbelief was dealt with the stone would be incidental.

How did Jesus propose for Martha to roll away her unbelief rock? He told her to remember the words He had spoken to her. It is the promises of God that are the most powerful weapons against resistance of unbelief. When the suggestions of doubt and unbelief surround our hearts with darkness like a suffocating mist, it is then that it is most vital to immerse our minds and imagination and hearts in the Word of God and the promises that He has provided to inspire faith in the midst of our situation.

Rain and snow fall from the sky and don't return until they have watered the ground. Then the ground causes the plants to sprout and grow, and they produce seeds for the farmer and food for people to eat. In the same way, my words leave my mouth, and they don't come back without results. My words make the things happen that I want to happen. They succeed in doing what I send them to do.

(Isa 55:10-11 ERV)

I noticed another important lesson in these words of Jesus to Martha. So often we want to base our faith on miracles, on demonstrations of power, on revelations of glory, on the emotional reactions we have to spectacular displays of what we think is the supernatural presence of God. We feel confident that if we could just have more signs from heaven that our faith could then be firm and confident and secure.

People have had this mistaken idea likely ever since sin entered the world. But in reality it is just another example of the backwards thinking that is produced by the effects of sin on our brains. Jesus states in this verse that it is the belief in His word that needs to come first, not the display of the glory of God. If you believe you will see... Like most people my heart is sure that if I could just see the glory of God first then it would be easy to believe. But I am learning that the kind of belief that relies on displays of power or supernatural interventions is a very fickle faith. In addition, because the enemy of God also has supernatural abilities and is intent on using it to deceive, it sets me up to be easily deceived into thinking I have faith in God when in fact I am being led toward destruction without realizing it.

This is why it is so vital to learn the lesson of basing our faith on the promises and the instructions and revelations of the established Word of God in the Scriptures rather than on impressions or supposed revelations from inspiring preachers or teachers. Jesus demonstrated this clearly during His temptations in the wilderness at the beginning of His ministry. This world is full of counterfeits designed to draw us away from the saving truth about God that can transform us into His image and prepare us to live with Him for eternity. The real truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ – the good news about God – is so rare that it is nearly impossible to learn correctly from those professing religion. I am finding that the more I search the Scriptures prayerfully seeking to discern the real truth about its message the more I see the distortions in what is claimed to be the gospel message from other sources.

Jesus told Martha that if she would believe she would then see God's glory. There is a distinct sequence laid out here. In Martha's mind she found it very difficult in her grief and her assumed perceptions of reality to imagine what Jesus wanted to do in her circumstances. She was under so much pressure from those around her and from her own intense feelings to believe negative assumptions about God that are so common in this world that Jesus had to urge her to stretch far out of her comfort zone and trust His heart even if she could not perceive His plans for her. Martha did not have to believe and understand fully how Jesus intended to relate to her pain, but she did need to choose to take hold of His word spoken to her and invest at least a little faith in His care for her in order to release the permission necessary for Him to intervene supernaturally in her situation.

Faith in the goodness of God's heart must precede revelations of God's glory if it is to make a saving difference in our lives. It is dangerous to wait for supernatural revelations of glory before we are willing to trust the heart of God. This is one of the schemes of the enemy to keep us diverted from the true kind of faith that will save our souls. For miracles to accomplish what God intends for them to, faith in God's heart needs to come first.

But this is not a self-generated, artificial kind of mental gymnastics faith that is often confused for trust in His heart. Real faith is choosing to believe that God's heart is towards us even when our feelings insist otherwise. Saving faith is making our reason and conscience supersede our feelings and choosing to not allow our feelings to control our will and choices.

Martha's feelings were driving her to doubt the heart of Jesus, to feel that He didn't care for her as much as her reason and experience had led her to believe previously. Because of her natural interpretation of her circumstances reinforced by nearly everyone around her, that Jesus had failed them in their greatest time of crisis, her feelings felt very strong to doubt the goodness of God in the midst of her pain. But Jesus took this opportunity to remind her that feelings were not to be the determining factor for her faith; her faith must rest on the promises of God which cannot be defeated no matter how impossible circumstances may seem to appear. And if she was willing to make that investment of trust, the returns would be beyond her wildest hopes and dreams.

I want to learn that lesson too. I find myself daily facing the challenge to turn away from my feelings and choose to trust the heart of God, especially when it seems things are not going well. When it feels He is not listening to me I want to practice the lessons in these words of Jesus so that my own faith will strengthen and mature in spite of my feelings. I want to rely intentionally and intently on the promises of God when things look dark or hopeless. I want to overcome the temptation to allow my feelings to determine my relationship with God whether they are good or bad, and rather to depend on what He has said about our relationship. I want to re-prioritize the hierarchy of the processes of how I make decisions, not allowing my feelings to control my will but basing my choices on what God has said even when it sounds bizarre or impossible. I want my life to be shaped by the Word of God rather than the traditions of religion or culture or any other faulty foundation.

What I allow to surround me, the influences of the inputs that flood my thinking and imagination and stimulate my emotions have a great degree of influence on the direction of my faith and character. I find that when I allow the messages of the world through entertainment or negative friends or any number of other sources to occupy my attention that my faith begins to shrink very rapidly. The only safe way to keep my faith alive and growing is to keep putting myself back into the presence of Jesus and choosing to turn away or cut myself off from sources that contradict what He says about me and about God.

Father, help me to guard more carefully the channels to my mind and heart that erode my faith in Your heart. Keep reminding me of Your words of hope, of truth, of how You really view me. Fill my thoughts with the truth about Your goodness, Your fairness, Your passionate love and Your power to save.

Remove the Stones

Jesus said, "Remove the stone." Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to Him, "Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days." Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" (John 11:39-40)

There is something compelling for me in these words of Jesus, something that resonates deeply both in the context of this story and in my own life.

I believe this large stone was not the only obstacle that Jesus was referring to in His words here. But the stone had become a symbol of many of the obstacles that Jesus was seeking to have people put aside so that the glory of God, His goodness, love, power and grace might become clear before all.

This stone was standing in the way between Jesus and His friend Lazarus. Could Jesus have simply spoken a word and the stone would have moved itself away? Could Jesus have commanded angels to remove it and they would have done so eagerly as they did at His own resurrection a few days later?

Of course He could have done those things and any number of other options. But God does not interfere with our own freedom to make choices about the obstacles in our own lives. For the sake of developing a genuine and lasting relationship with our hearts, He asks us to take the initiative and remove all the obstacles that we have control over and move them out of the way.

I think of some of the other obstacles, other 'stones' that Jesus had to get past on His way to displaying the glory of God that day. First He was up against the fears of His own disciples who were so intimidated by the threats of the religious leaders that they did not want to even return to Judea even though some of Jesus' closest friends were in desperate need of Him. He was also contending with those same threats Himself, but He chose to ignore them because He always trusted in the guidance and protection of His Father rather than relying on what others thought about Him to make His decisions.

Then He was up against the spreading atmosphere of unbelief that was threatening to undermine the trust of Martha and Mary who's brother He had come to rescue. The pervasive attitude of mistrust in Jesus that infected the hearts of many of the Jews was also being pressed into the minds of these sisters and causing them to question their own relationship with Jesus. Even in the mourning practices the sympathy of others was only serving to press in the despair and reinforce the darkness even more instead of inspiring faith. There is hidden danger in much of what we call sympathy that goes unnoticed and unquestioned.

As He met the sisters individually He sought to re-inspire them to trust His heart even though circumstances seemed to demand a different view of what He was like inside. In His words here He urged them to remember their past experiences with Him and all the things that had so filled their hearts with love for Him in the past. Their faith needed to be strengthened, but not just through a spectacular and unexpected miracle. They needed to rely much more on what He had already taught them and how He had already treated them previously.

This large stone was a monument to all the massive obstacles piled up by Satan who seeks to do everything possible to instill doubt and darkness into the minds of everyone. His evil suggestions that Jesus could not be trusted to really care about people and their needs had already had considerable effect to deepen the unbelief of many. But Jesus said to take away the stone of unbelief so that the glory of God could burst out from very unexpected places.

Interestingly, even later in the story when Lazarus came struggling out of the tomb very much alive but bound tightly with grave clothes, people still did not get it. Jesus had to once again request that people quit standing around gawking and step forward to remove even more obstacles. Even though it was obvious what needed to be done and an incredible miracle was already in progress, people were still not paying attention to the things that were inhibiting God from doing what He so wanted to do.

Another thought came to my attention as I contemplated this obstacle of a large stone in the way of Jesus. In the Hebrew culture, rocks were very closely associated with the idea of God. All throughout the Old Testament scriptures references are made to God as a rock. In the Hebrew mind whenever someone referred to a rock the idea of God would be closely connected in some way. When David took up stones to confront Goliath, he was symbolically sending the message that it was God whom David was sending his way to do whatever God wanted to do as the stone flew through the air.

With that background I find it compelling that Jesus had to ask people to remove the very symbol that they were so used to connecting with their concept of God. This time instead of the symbol of God serving as a protection from harm it was now an obstacle to be removed so that God's true glory and character might be seen more clearly. This large stone had become a representative of the false pictures of God that had grown up to obscure the real truth about Him for centuries. It was distorted views of God created and perpetuated by religious leaders and the chosen people of God that prevented them from trusting Him like they should. It was misapprehension of God that blinded them with unbelief to what Jesus wanted to demonstrate that day about the truth of how He felt about them.

I too have a number of obstacles in my own life that God very likely wants me to step up to move out of His way. He is starting to make me more aware of what some of these things might be even now. Early this morning I was awakened and sensed God addressing me intimately to answer some troubling questions I had in my spirit. He pointed out clearly that the distance I am feeling between us right now has nothing to do with how He feels about me but has everything to do with my inattention to Him and my willingness to be so easily distracted by the enticements and entertainments of this world. He invited me to get up and spend some extra time with Him today like I used to do. Unfortunately I struggled for maybe two hours but was not able to get past the obstacle of my desire to remain in the comfort of my bed even though I wanted to keep listening and dialogging with Him. Was that sin? Well, I do think I missed out on connecting with Him at a level that could have taken me much deeper.

I sense other obstacles too that prevent the glory of God from being more clearly seen in my life. I have inhibiting fears of what those around me think about me, more than most might realize. I have fears of changing too fast even though I am dissatisfied with my current condition. I too often give priority to selfish interests that bring me pleasure but that prevent God from providing deeper satisfaction like what my heart craves for. There are so many things that create obstacles that need to be removed, and yet I feel almost paralyzed just as the people in this story demonstrated to take the initiative and get busy moving the stones and unwrapping His presents.

God, save me from my own pervasive selfishness and fears and the many lies about You that still inhibit my own heart from living in abandoned joy for Your love for me. The more I see inside myself the more selfishness and fear and weakness I perceive. Save me from myself, from my fears and emotional wounds and cause me to see in Your face the real truth about You and how much You really care about me.

Help me to cooperate with Your methods and plans to save me and transform me into a new person. I throw myself on Your mercy; I trust in Your kindness and faithful love and ask You again to come in and heal the damage that still infects so much of my heart and blocks me from trusting You more readily. Fulfill Your promises in Ezekiel 36 to me and do it for Your reputation's sake, not mine.

When I Cause Him Trouble

But some of them said, "Could not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind man, have kept this man also from dying?" So Jesus, again being deeply moved within, came to the tomb.... (John 11:37-38)

I have previously suggested that the real reason that Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus had nothing to do directly with His feelings of loss over Lazarus but rather was caused by His awareness of the unbelief and depression and despair that was controlling the minds and hearts of so many that He had come to save. It was the persistent and pervasive atmosphere of doubts and unwillingness to trust God that brought pain and sorrow to the heart of Jesus that day.

As I ponder these verses again today I see this conclusion reinforced in the comments of some of the Jews who had come to console Mary and Martha. I recall the intense resistance and hostility displayed toward Jesus by the Jews just two chapters previous to this involving the story of the blind man they refer to here. It is amazing how hostile and unreasonable and even illogical these people became in their quest to maintain their unbelief in the face of overwhelming evidence. They were constantly trying to blame everyone else for the absurdity of their own thinking and trying to shame or intimidate everyone around them into agreeing with their twisted and self-serving perceptions.

Now once again these very same people possessed with the spirit of antagonism and unbelief infiltrate into the crowds of people coming to share the grief being experienced by two of Jesus' best friends. Implicit in their suggestion in this verse they are trying very hard to reinforce the feeling that Jesus does not really care about them or their pain like they have come to trust that He does. These religiously influential people are hell-bent on seeking to maintain their dominance over the people at all cost and they do everything they can to dilute and undermine the growing confidence of the people in the kind of God Jesus is representing to them.

This radical new notion of a God full of compassion who does not bas His government on fear and coercion but focuses on truth and love is a lethal threat to their whole system of control and dominance. In verse 48 this is explicitly what they express as they are backed into a corner after they are exposed by the wonderful sign that Jesus performs in the case of Lazarus. This event was not just about Jesus bringing relief to the hearts of a couple of His best friends; this miracle was the pivotal point in the ministry of Jesus that completed the hardening of the hearts of many of the religious leaders as they confirmed themselves in their wickedness. They had persistently resisted repeated appeals to their hearts by Jesus over several years and had refused to renounce their perverted beliefs about God and now they were moving past the point of no return.

Was Jesus intimidated by this knowledge of their hostility towards Him? Not at all. The disciples had assumed earlier that Jesus had left Judea because He was afraid for His life and went to minister where there was much better potential. But Jesus was never guided by His emotions or intimidated by the threats of His enemies. The reason that He did anything or went anywhere was because He was always listening and responding to the guidance of the Spirit from His Father, not because His emotions were determining His choices.

Jesus certainly experienced the whole spectrum of emotions just as we all do. But unlike most of us He never allowed His emotions to usurp the rightful role of His reason and conscience to determine the direction of His will. It is a lesson I need very much to learn myself and am just now becoming more aware of it. How often I allow emotions subtly influenced by my own selfishness to unduly influence my choices rather than relying on reason and listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit as Jesus did. But even though Jesus always maintained the proper balance of His mind it does not mean that He was immune from feeling strong emotions Himself.

The emotions that Jesus experienced however, were for very different reasons than what we often assume. Just as people around Him that day assumed incorrectly that Jesus was crying because He was so sad about Lazarus, so too we can misinterpret the emotions of Jesus because we fail to come into sympathy with the perspective of heaven about the real issues involved. Whenever we allow our own emotions to interpret for us our circumstances while failing to seek heaven's perspective of what is going on, we are most likely to misinterpret what is going on and as a result make more faulty choices that only complicate things.

Jesus was seeking to draw Martha into seeing her situation from a different perspective when He engaged her in conversation when they met alone outside the village. He did manage to turn her attention away from her own feelings long enough to begin to take hold of the reality He wanted her to perceive and experience. But Mary seemed a bit further behind and most of the people involved in this story were far from seeing things the way they really were. And if it were not that we already knew how the story turned out it is very likely that we too would fall into the same mindset as most of the people in this story.

This story was recorded for our benefit so we don't have to follow in the example of those people who were so steeped in unbelief. It is our tenacious unbelief that brings the most grief to the heart of Jesus even today just as it troubled Him so much back then. It is not our physical problems that bring concern to the mind of God for these are merely incidental as a part of the process of life, even though we find that very hard to digest. But from heaven's perspective it is our unwillingness to move from doubt and rebellion and hostility against the truth about God into a relationship of trusting that He always has our best interest in mind that is the biggest problem. God could fix our external problems in a heartbeat. However, He often does not do so immediately because it could circumvent our facing the real issue of the condition of our own heart. God is willing to allow us to suffer emotional agony or even physical pain for a season if it will eventually lead us to face the real issue of how we feel about Him, so that we come to see that our unbelief is the problem in our relationship with Him, not how He feels about us.

These Jews were trying to keep the lid on the truth that God really does care deeply about all of His children. For very perverted reasons they did not want people to begin to warm up to the idea of a loving, caring Father whom each person could relate to intimately. They wanted to maintain a religious atmosphere of fear and control and hierarchy and everything that Jesus was telling people and demonstrating was a direct threat to their whole system of control by fear. It was this threat from a compassionate, caring Jesus that was the greatest fear of those who had a vested interest in keeping God looking very dark and dangerous, and they would stop at nothing to stifle, distort or shut down the testimony about God that Jesus had come to deliver.

You and I still face the very same issue today. Will I choose to believe in a good, loving, caring God who has my best interest at heart when circumstances seem to scream the very opposite? How will I interpret events in my life that I am so used to blaming on God? Will I allow these messages of love and grace that I am reading to challenge my long-held assumptions about how God feels about me or will I succumb to the temptation to maintain unbelief that God is as good as Jesus made Him out to be?

I find myself facing these questions more and more as I work my way through the good news about God as reported by one of Jesus' best friends. I want my own thinking to be healed and my own heart to learn to trust Him far more than I do now. I want God to transform me to trust Him just like Jesus did all the time. I want to be a real Christian, not just one who professes to believe but fails to be changed from the inside out.

It is all too easy to sidestep this vital issue of belief. It is too easy to rely on old patterns of thinking that view God as one who cannot be trusted all the time to do what is good. False ideas woven into cultural Christianity have left deep damage and scars in my soul and I want to experience the authentic genuine healing that will bring me to live like Christ. After all, that's what the very word Christian means in the first place – to live and think and relate to others just like Christ did. How strange that we have lost touch with that word.

The more I meditate on how Jesus viewed things and how He related to various situations the easier it becomes to view things differently myself. Yes, I feel even more ignorant and selfish the more I perceive the real truth about Him. But that must not deter me from continuing my quest to know Him even more. Growing awareness of my own sinfulness is not a problem so much as it is an awakening. It can actually be a sign for hope even though it feels like I am hopeless. The only hope is looking at Jesus. As I keep cooperating with the healing plan that Jesus wants to accomplish in my life He is responsible to do the transforming inside of me.

As long as I am willing to keep in relationship with Him and allow Him to draw me closer to His heart, the results are His responsibility. He has promised that He can transform and change me into thinking and acting like Him. Like Abraham I choose to trust that God has the power and ability and desire to do what He says He can do. And if I read my Bible correctly, that kind of thinking is called righteousness by faith which happens to be a good thing in heaven's perspective.

To See or Not To See

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see." (John 11:32-34)

One of the tools for inductive Bible study is looking for clusters or repetitions of a thought or word in the context. A few days ago I noticed the significance of the phrase she saw Him and pondered that for some time with great benefit. Now I notice that there seems to be a cluster of references to the idea of seeing together in these three verses and beyond.

Seeing requires certain things to be in place to accomplish effectively. Seeing requires eyes that function properly as well as surrounding light to illuminate what is to be seen. Quite interestingly a couple verses later the Jews conclude from Jesus' response to seeing Mary weeping that He must have loved Lazarus. “See how He loved him” they say. But in the very next breath they try to deepen people's doubts about Jesus by harking back to a previous miracle that was hotly discussed among them when Jesus had recently healed a man blind from birth.

All of these things have to do with seeing. I believe this was no accident on the part of John the writer of this book. In this story there was an over-abundance of darkness like an oppressive cloud around the minds of all the people involved except for Jesus. It is interesting to compare this story with the end of the story about the healed blind man in chapter 9 where Jesus talked about blindness and seeing. The main reason that Jesus wept in this context was not because He was sad about Lazarus' death but because it disturbed Him so much to see His close friends so blinded by unbelief and darkness and unwillingness to trust Him.

Emotions have a way of blinding us to many things. I have just finished reading a book that has really helped to open my own eyes to this issue. It talks about God's original design for the hierarchy of our mind and how sin has reversed God's intended order to keep us in darkness, fear and headed for death. When our feelings become the dominate controlling factor in our life rather than reason, conscience and a true perception of God, then the result is always damage to our mental health and all sorts of problems can take us down.

It appears to me from the stories about them that Martha was not as prone as Mary to allowing her feelings to dominate her perceptions. She was not so easily clouded by her emotions to have what Jesus had been seeking to teach them obscured in her mind. Even though her emotions were very intense at this time, she was able to keep her reason engaged enough to express faith in Jesus in spite of how she felt. However it seems that Mary, who was likely one far more emotionally influenced, could not perceive as readily as Martha and as a result she struggled to hang onto her trust in Jesus' heart for her even though she had had many more dramatic experiences with His saving power. Jesus was saddened that His friends were still so easily overcome with darkness and doubts when He had invested so much into their lives to help them to be prepared for just such a crisis. He was saddened but not offended.

Jesus was also overcome with emotion Himself as He perceived the bigger picture that no one else could see of what was really going on in the hearts of all the people present. He knew the hypocrisy of the Jews who were pretending to console Mary but really were seeking to reinforce her despair. He saw the double-mindedness of many present who would soon clamor for His death just a few days later. He felt the effects of the suffocating mass of lies circulating through humanity and especially promoted by religion about He and His Father. These misrepresentations kept people in fear and darkness and afraid to trust God when things looked hopeless. All of this awareness pressed on the heart of Jesus and was the true reason that He wept. It was not about Lazarus at all that He wept because Jesus knew what He was about to do for him. It was about the condition of the hearts of those present and the blindness of the whole nation of Israel who were so resistant to embracing the love that Jesus had come to share with humanity direct from the throne of heaven that broke His heart and troubled His emotions..

Yet the good news is that darkness cannot remain long in the presence of light. Though it may return again and again to try to deceive and depress us, darkness is no match for light when we allow the true Source of light to come into our lives.

The Word was the source of life, and this life brought light to people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out.

The real light, which shines on everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world came into existence through him. Yet, the world didn't recognize him. He went to his own people, and his own people didn't accept him. However, he gave the right to become God's children to everyone who believed in him. (John 1:4-5 GNB, 9-12 GW)