Ruining the Heart

For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. (Romans 14:15 NAS95)

If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. (Romans 14:15 NRSV)

If your brother or sister is being injured by __________, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let __________ cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died.

If we think that the only thing Paul is referring to here is meat vs. vegetables or opinions about the importance of feast days we have completely missed the whole point of this passage. For the principle that Paul is presenting is far greater than the illustrations that he chose to convey it. The bottom line issue that is so important to grasp is that the effect of my spirit and my choices and my actions on others is a very high priority in God's opinion.

I don't think that this to be extended to mean that my life must be dictated by the prejudices and misconceptions of everyone around me or anyone who might happen to be passing by. My Christian life cannot be shaped and determined solely by the bigoted, narrow and fear-based beliefs of those with very messed up pictures of God in their minds.

But on the other hand I am not to ignore the potential strong reactions in the minds and hearts of others with whom I may have significant influence. If someone is looking to me to be an example of what it looks like to be a Christian and they are still locked in bonds of ignorance and superstition about things that I have long since become free from, it is not O.K. for me to just think that I can live free from all responsibility for the effect my actions have on their heart. In other words, it is clearly my responsibility to do everything I can to protect the reputation of Jesus by carefully avoiding unnecessarily wounding a person's heart who is trying to struggle through issues and confusion that are no longer a problem for me.

Listen to the description of Jesus and the way He relates to people as put forth by Isaiah the prophet:

"Behold, My Servant, whom I uphold; My chosen one in whom My soul delights. I have put My Spirit upon Him; He will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry out or raise His voice, nor make His voice heard in the street. A bruised reed He will not break and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice." (Isaiah 42:1-3)

I have thought about alternative issues that Paul might have used if he were writing this passage in today's world. Try some of these out for size:

If your brother or sister is being injured by your music, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let your music cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died.

If your brother or sister is being injured by you raising your hands during worship, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let your expressive worship cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died.

If your brother or sister is being injured by the things you do on the Sabbath, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let your freedom from legalism cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died.

I know what kinds of triggers these examples can immediately stir up in many people. The same things rise up in me as well. I feel a sense of resentment and irritation that my relationship and freedom to worship my God in ways that are “more advanced” and connect me with Him in a deeper way than I used to feel safe to do are now somehow off-limits to me under certain situations simply because someone else's narrow thinking extends into my personal space. It just doesn't seem fair or right! Why do I have to be dragged back into the environment of legalistic, rigid dark emotions and restrictions because of someone else's immaturity? Something inside of me strongly rebels at such a suggestion.

But then I have to suspect that it is precisely this spirit of rebellion and resentment that Paul is talking about right here in this passage. The rest of this chapter intensifies the message of this verse and becomes unavoidable if I am to be honest in listening to the conviction of the true Spirit of God. If I do not want to distort the message of God to my heart, which is always an extremely dangerous thing to do, then I have to face squarely the “religious” spirit of rebellion inside my flesh and allow it to be exposed for the counterfeit that it is and be crucified.

Does this mean that I have to give up all the wonderful freedoms and insights and joy that I have been increasingly experiencing in my growing intimacy with God because other more immature people condemn these things? Not at all! That is not the point here at all. Paul never wavers in his own personal belief about the rightness or wrongness of the particular beliefs in dispute in these illustrations. In fact he goes to some length to emphasize that he personally is not bothered in the least by things that are a really big issue for others who are so easily offended.

So this is not an instruction to revert back to old legalistic patterns of thinking or adopt the prejudices and bigotry of those we are not to offend. We need to see these problems clearly for what they are and continue to become more free from them ourselves, but never with any trace of a spirit of contempt. But in the process there is something even more important that is not to be missed. It is the issue of the condition of the heart and the spirit, both ours and theirs. For in God's eyes it is never right to have the right facts but carry them around with the wrong spirit, a spirit that wounds the hearts of other honest seekers after God.

But really now, this is a principle that is almost easier to accept in the secular world for decent, polite people than it is to accept in the spiritual realm. If we go to another country with radically different customs and norms we usually, if we are a considerate person at all, will try to find out ahead of time how to adjust our behavior and speech and how to relate to people in a way that is not unnecessarily offensive to them. It is simply common courtesy to try to adapt our ways and suspend our usual behaviors that they might find offensive while we are around them so as not to insult their sensitivities.

But when it comes to spiritual politeness, why is it so hard to have that same attitude? Why is it that it is so easy to overlook the sensitivities of someone who does not see God or worship Him the same way that we do right now? Why do we think we have the right to just do whatever we want without reference to offending the feelings of others and arousing suspicion and prejudice in their minds?

I don't have all the answers for these questions. I do appreciate the newfound freedom to be able to pose real questions without feeling obliged to have them resolved immediately. I know that God is faithful and will bring more insight and resolution as I rest in His tutelage. But is it becoming rather clear in my marination in this passage that it is clearly my responsibility in God's opinion that I need to avoid as much as possible unnecessarily offending others spiritually whenever possible. When I am not around them I can still enjoy all the freedoms that I have been learning to accept myself and even desire to have much more.

On the flip side of this I am also aware at times of the offended feelings that sometimes stir up in my own heart whenever someone else does or says things that I feel are too liberal, too conservative, too radical or whatever. At those times I am reminded that maybe they may not even know that I am being offended or maybe they have not been convicted of the message from this passage. But one thing is for sure, they are not my project to fix or reprove. They are accountable to God personally just as I am, and my responsibility is first and foremost for my own attitude and spirit in the presence of God. I am the one who has to give my account to God for my choices and attitudes.

I also remind myself that years ago if I had met a person like the person I now have become that I would have been very offended by some of the things that I now so much enjoy and thrive on doing. Things that now deeply enhance and enrich my intimacy with God I would have found quite offensive and repulsive in previous years. Ironically some of that previous “person” still lurks inside of hidden, dark corners of my mind yet today and is still secretly offended by some of the things I so much enjoy now.

I have seen some of the damaging effects of the behavior and spirit of people who put far more emphasis on being right than on being gentle and accommodating in the spirit of Jesus. These kind of people usually declare that accommodation is nothing but compromise with evil and they will have nothing to do with it. However, that spirit and way of relating to others is in direct contradiction to the real lesson of this chapter. God clearly puts far more priority on the choices and actions that affect the heart than on how right or wrong we are factually or in our success at rule-keeping. This is demonstrated in the illustration Jesus told about the final day of exposure.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (Matthew 7:21-23 NIV)

And just what is the will of the Father in heaven?

So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of (food, music,worship style, clothes – you fill in the blank). (Romans 14:19-20)

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