Fear or Love

For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good.... But if you do what is evil, be afraid.... (Romans 13:3-4)

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

When comparing my reactions to oppressive authority with the actions and spirit of Jesus under abusive treatment by authorities I can more clearly see how much I am not yet perfected by love. What I am seeing here is that the good referred to by Paul that I should be doing is whatever it is that love would have me do under the circumstances. According to these verses love is synonymous with good and they both are the polar opposite of fear. Given that, it would seem be very difficult if not impossible to ever do real good while motivated by fear.

Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake. (Romans 13:5)

Again, I see a contrast in motives being presented here. Subjection is the opposite of resistance. Resistance produces condemnation according to verse two. And what I have learned about how the human brain functions, condemnation is a description of the tension created in the mind when the left and right brain are not in agreement about something. Tension is another word that is very similar to resistance or is at least very closely related to it.

I am trying to clearly understand verse five here. This word for wrath is the same word that I have been unpacking for several years now in my growing enlightenment about the wrath of God. It is often terribly misunderstood and is associated with very negative assumptions when applied to God's attitude toward sinners. But I believe in this case where it is describing the inside motives of sinners themselves it may actually take on much of the negative meanings that we too often mistakenly ascribe to God. It also closely parallels the above verse from 1 John.

In comparing these verses it becomes clear to me that wrath and fear are likely synonyms for the same motivation. We are dealing with issues of the heart primarily in this passage, not disconnected external activities that too often make up much of religion. But Paul seems to be acknowledging that we may have to begin with motives that are less than ideal to start with to get us moving in the right direction until we can learn to live properly with authorities from the right internal orientation.

I find this to be very descriptive of my own experience. For most of my life I have had to restrain and restrict my actions and words, particularly in response to confrontations by authorities, based on extreme caution and fear of disastrous consequences far more than on any love for them as a motivation to display any kind of goodness toward them. I suspect my heart was trained along this line by the authorities early in my life, my parents and teachers who generally treated me with the typical “carrot and stick” approach so popular in that day. As a result I generally find it quite baffling to understand or figure out what this more advanced way of living and thinking should look or feel like.

I realize that this has a great deal to do with maturity. And that is realistically part of my problem. Because my heart was trained (forced) to submit using very immature models of motivation (fear and wrath) and I did not learn by examples to imitate (the only way the right brain can learn) what more mature people could look and feel like under similar circumstances, I failed to grow internally to the higher stages of maturity and I am now left feeling stranded on a sandbar while needing to be able to sail in rough waters with the freedom of needed maturity. Even the word conscience is fraught in my mind with connotations of fear instead of what I suspect the real meaning is likely intended to be in this verse.

I need to grow at the heart level into a much deeper level of maturity that is illustrated by many of the insights that God has been giving me over the past few weeks and months while I have been wrestling with this passage. I want to really experience the co-perception with God that is the real meaning of this word conscience instead of having so much of my motivation tainted still by fear of punishment. I want to be completely healed and free of all fears and of all bitterness and of all the roots of shame and resentment that produce that bitterness.

As I look back over the past few months and the internal journey that God has been leading me on, I see some patterns and the wisdom of the topics that He has insisted that I examine. I also see how much I need them for my personal growth and maturity. But far more than learning exciting facts and being intellectually stimulated, as wonderful and important as that may be, I desperately want my own heart to be transformed and to come up to speed so that when I find myself under fire and in intense confrontations with authorities that my automatic reaction will be one of peace, freedom from fear and with words of kindness and grace flowing from a heart of genuine love and compassion for those who treat me as an enemy.

When processed by the left brain this sounds almost to the point of being cheesy and idealistic. And when performed from a left-brain dominated life that is exactly how it would likely come across. But when the heart is experiencing a vital connection with the Source of all love and forgiveness on a real-time basis then it will not be just idealistic but will be an irresistible witness of the power of God to transform even a legalistic, selfish, religion-addicted sinner like me into another example of how Jesus feels about and treats His enemies.

This whole chapter is a treatise on the contrast between a fear-based religion that is immature and motivated by rewards and threats of punishment, and a more matured love-based life that is thriving and not bound by the chains of fear commonly employed by authorities to induce compliance. This chapter really is unpacking the last verse of chapter twelve, Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (Romans 13:10)

God, I feel so far away from the description of real maturity that You present here. You certainly have a great deal to accomplish in my life to transform me into a more truthful witness at the heart level to represent how You relate to people. But I'm very glad this is not my job to accomplish in me or it could never happen. About all I know to do is to ask You to keep teaching me and mentoring me and especially healing my heart so that it will much better reflect Your glory and beauty and attractiveness.

When I look at my feelings and reactions to authority I mostly see bitterness, fear and wrath. But what I am beginning to see as the goal for Your work in me is a man who will be empowered to see each individual I meet, whether in authority or not, as a hurting, messed up child of Yours in need of compassion, kindness and respect irregardless of their treatment of me. Oh God, I want to be that kind of witness for You so that others will believe more easily the truths about You and how You feel about all of us. Grow me up in the fullness and maturity of Jesus Christ as quickly as possible, but thoroughly as well. I know You are taking full responsibility for this project and I trust Your ways, Your timing and Your goodness.

(next in series)