The False god of Revenge

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.... Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. (Romans 12:17, 19)

Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. (Romans 13:2)

It occurred to me just now that it is very possible and even likely that a desire for revenge can actually become a false god that I worship, either secretly or openly. As I have learned, false gods are far from just being carved images or statues that people bow down to. That is another Christian illusion that the devil promotes to keep us unaware of the many gods that we really worship all the time.

Anything or anyone that draws my attention to them that I find compelling and cannot easily release myself from is a god to me. Anything or anyone that I look to with my heart to be a source of life in the deeper levels of my soul is a god. And equally but less obvious, anything or anyone that I am afraid of more than I trust the true God is also a god for me, ironically. Whatever I crave or fear that is not subjected to the authority of God within my heart is a god that will dominate and manipulate and control me whenever it chooses. I am a slave to that god, for all false gods act as slave-masters, not kind and compassionate like the true God of heaven. False gods are self-serving and only pretend (though convincingly at times) to have my best interests in mind.

What I am observing, even in my own heart, is that my inability to stop desiring revenge against over-bearing authorities has become a god that has enslaved my heart and emotions. Because I cannot control or be free of these desires, even if I manage to mask them to some extent from accessing all of my external actions, I now see that these desires have all the indicators of being false gods living inside of me. This is very sobering but also sheds light on why it is so hard to deal with.

A false god internally usually convinces me that it is actually a part of myself and not separate from me. These impulses and inner demanding voices spring from identities (not mine) that can never be converted or convinced to change their opinions. That is a key truth that I need to realize and accept. For I believe we spend far too much energy and time trying to convince false gods, either in ourselves or in others, to change their opinions when the real problem is our allegiance. But this too, must be handled very delicately or we will only activate yet another false god that will rush to defend and shield our heart from abusive religious attacks. Only the kindness of God leads to repentance and this policy must be respected both with others and with our own hearts.

I believe there are false gods whose job is to keep us from being aware of the false gods in our hearts. They are full of excuses and convincing arguments that keep us believing that our stubbornness is legitimate or is sometimes even an honorable defense of the truth of God. Or they may just reinforce our belief that we must protect our own heart because there is no one else looking out for it.

Quite often a desire for revenge is founded on the argument of fairness. But the arguments of false gods always involve some degree of deceptive reasoning, though it does not at all feel deceptive to us because it seems to be coming from inside of us so we believe them. I have heard many times people cling to a desire to get even or to seek revenge or to even withdraw from relationships in the name of fairness. If they feel they have been treated unfairly – and that is quite likely since all of us are guilty of being unfair – they may secretly believe that pulling out of a relationship with someone is a way of inflicting some level of revenge, though they would not consciously say it that way. There are all sorts of variations on how this is done but at bottom a desire for revenge is extremely more common in our lives than most of us are willing to admit or are even aware of. But it is starting to become more clear to me that a desire for revenge really is a false god for it acts and manipulates like one, so if it quacks like and duck and it walks....

I want to be clear here that I am not equating internal false gods with demon possession. Though they may use the same methods and control us in similar ways, the intensity of demon possession I think is far more problematic than dealing with false gods and internal deceptions on a day to day basis. False gods when not dealt with can lead eventually to a condition known as demon possession, but we must be very careful not to slap labels onto people that can be destructive and will only aid and abet the enemy of souls. What I am saying is that we all need to be far more honest about what is going on inside of our own hearts instead of focusing on other people's problems so much.

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)

The basic nature of deception that is found in all false gods leads us to focus more on other's faults to avoid dealing with our own. This is true with the god of revenge that we so often worship. A desire for revenge is always focused on the wrong that has been done to us or is being done to us. This desire justifies itself by pointing out the injustice and unfairness of how we are being treated or disrespected and believes that it is up to us to insist on “justice” being met out for that person. But in essence we are now setting ourselves up as a judge which is usurping the place of God and so we are now engaging in worship of false gods even more. It also betrays a mistaken view of the real nature of judgment itself.

What I am sensing more and more is that the subject of revenge, the subject of authorities and our relationship to them and the subject of judgment are all very closely intertwined more than I ever thought. Additionally tied into this is the issue of bitter roots that I spent a month or two meditating on recently. A desire for revenge, which very often involves authorities in my life, springs from the poison of bitter roots that are not healed. Now I am seeing that it also involves worship of false gods that still control my life to some degree.

Again, I feel like crying out with Paul, What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:24-25 NIV)

Father, I confess and agree with what You have impressed me with this morning about my real condition. I am still a slave in many ways to false gods and they are stealing worship from me that rightfully only belongs to You. My unwillingness to accept unfair treatment without bitterness is an act of worship to a false god. My unwillingness to forgive instantly those who abuse me is worship of my desire for revenge. My inability to be free of these desires betrays the condition of slavery that I find myself in but sometimes try to deny.

Father, I cannot free myself. Like any slave caught in the clutches of a cruel master, even if I were to manage to get away I would only be captured again and tortured even more by these ruthless dictators. And the worst part is that they live internally so they often escape detection. I no longer want to remain a slave to these sinful gods of revenge, “fairness” and mistaken concepts of justice. There are still many gods that have me deceived and manipulate me in various ways, but You are a God of deliverance. You are a stronger God that can shatter the control and bonds of all my false gods. You have declared Yourself to be the God who delivers from slavery. I cry out to You for deliverance and freedom from their tyranny. But I do not ask for complete freedom but freedom to become a slave of Your love and compassion and to become a willing servant for the desires of Your heart. Father-God, these are not just empty words coming from my intellect, these are the cries of my heart being translated by my brain into words. Listen directly to my heart and intervene to save me from my slavery to revenge and bitterness. I want no part of them in me any longer, but only You can deliver me effectively from these desires. Heal me, renew my mind and transform my heart to be a perfect mirror reflecting Your perfect beauty and forgiving love. Do this for Your name's sake, Amen.

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