Sharing Reproach with Joy

Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "the reproaches of those who reproached You fell on me." (Romans 15:2-3)

I have become estranged from my brothers And an alien to my mother's sons. For zeal for Your house has consumed me, And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me. (Psalms 69:8-9)

As I meditate on these verses and the context of the quotation in Psalms that was a prophecy of the experience of Jesus, a number of things are starting to come to my attention. The chapter in Psalms from which this quote was taken has a lot of very interesting implications about proper perspective on relationships to God and to those around us. It also reveals a great deal of honesty about feelings, frustration, shame and a number of other feelings. It tells me the importance of being honest with God about my true feelings instead of trying to pretend that I am not hurting while attempting to put on a religious facade.

But in the specific area of that chapter from which this quote was lifted I see another dynamic. The more that I identify with the real truth about God the more out of sync I will find myself with the world that refuses to accept the truth about God. As a result I will often find myself the object of scorn, reproach and shame for the very things that increasingly are becoming important to my heart. The closer I get to God's heart, and particularly the more I am filled with the passion that is the very essence of His heart the more I will encounter shame and reproach from maybe even my closest relatives, from anyone who is resisting the heart transformation that God wants to accomplish in their lives.

Given this background it almost seems a little out of context to apply this phrase in the place that Paul uses it in this passage. But that only alerts me that there is very likely something even more profound here that I am not yet seeing clearly. God, open my understanding and show me Your amazing ways from Your Word.

The connections or roots for what Paul is saying here extend quite a ways back through this passage in Romans. It is directly linked to the whole last chapter dealing with my need to accept those who are at a different place in their walk with God without judging them. It means treating them with love like the brothers and sisters that they truly are to me, even when they may not act in ways that elicit feelings of love and affection. It involves getting my focus shifted from the externals and disputes about differences over doctrinal variations to supporting them at the heart level while being very careful not to be a source of discouragement to them. This involves pursuing the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.

While I am not instructed to adopt their views on beliefs that they may be confused about or are mistaken about through unreleased fears or lack of knowledge, I am to treat them with the gentleness and kindness of Jesus in all sincerity and compassion. I am to be filled with the Spirit of service just as Jesus was who told His disciples clearly that He did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28 and Mark 10:45)

So where is this reproach coming from that is referred to here? The first time Paul goes through this instruction he says we should please others more than ourselves. But when He refers to the example of Jesus he changes the sequence and replaces the pleasing others part with this reference to reproach. Just what does that really mean?

Notice the difference between the two here.

We who are strong ought not to... please ourselves.

Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.

Christ did not please Himself...

the reproaches of those who reproached You fell on me.

My mind struggles to figure out just who or where this reproach is coming from or is originally directed toward. Is it reproach aimed at the fellow believers who are weak in faith? Is that part of how we are to bear their weaknesses – by joining them in the reproach they are receiving for the choices they make even though we may not necessarily agree with those choices ourselves? Wow! That takes on a whole new dimension now.

On the other hand, from the context in Psalms the reproach seems to be coming from unbelievers and originally directed toward God. Then the Psalmist along, with Jesus who is the object of this prophecy are experiencing the reproach by their identification with God.

Ah, now it is starting to become more clear to me. The common thread between the references in Psalms and Romans is the willingness to identity ourselves with someone who is receiving reproach from others and thereby putting ourselves in the line of fire along with them. In Psalms it is identifying so closely with God's passion and perspective that those who despise and reproach God will add us to their target list. In Romans Paul is saying that we should be willing to do the same thing even for people we don't agree with theologically but are still part of God's family here on earth. They may be someone we consider weak in faith and maybe even confused in some of their theology, but nonetheless we are instructed to so identify ourselves with them that we come under the same reproach and shame that unbelievers are directing toward them.

This really does parallel the example of Jesus as Paul suggests here. Jesus never adopted any of our crazy, confused ideas about reality or God that all of us circulate and hold in our blindness. But nevertheless He identified with us so thoroughly that all of the shame and scorn and reproach directed toward God and followers of God were experienced in full within His own heart. He felt every pain no matter how large or small that any of us have ever experienced and He felt it in full force. By doing so He joined us right where we are emotionally so as to mentor and show us how to return to joy and peace.

One of the most important principles of the brain is the fact that the maturity process involves learning how to return to a sense of rest and peace from any negative emotion. It has been observed that there are six basic negative emotions that are common to all people and that it is very important for mental health to very early on learn how to recover quickly from each one of these negative emotions if we are to grow and mature in life. But the only really effective way that our brain can learn to recover from any of these emotions is to track a more mature mind who is willing to join them in that emotion and then by example demonstrate how to get back to joy and peace together.

Given that principle of the mind I can see how it applies directly to both of these passages. According to the brain's neurological definition, joy is the experience I feel when someone is genuinely glad to be with me, when I am very important to their heart and I am considered very special to them. So when someone is willing to join me in my distress without first waiting for me to synchronize with their perspective and beliefs; when they are willing to enter into my emotions with me while at the same time being able to perceive things from a more mature perspective and then gently lead me back to a state of inner rest, peace and joy with others, that is the essence of what is described here in this passage and is the main focus of the heart of Jesus for each one of us.

So if I am to follow the example of what Jesus was willing to do for me and continues to do, then I will begin to reflect His heart of compassion for those who are weaker than me in faith just as I am weaker in faith than Jesus. It only makes sense that if we are to follow the example of Jesus – which is what the word Christian really means – then we must align ourselves with fellow believers in the same way that Jesus has aligned Himself with us. His willingness to identify Himself with our pain, shame and reproach and show us a way back to joy is the path that I need to follow in my relationship to those He has put into my life that are different and that even seem quite unlovable at times.

God, thank-you for this lesson in sharing joy with some whom I would not normally think of sharing it with. Please remind me and make me more intensely aware of how much Jesus identifies with me and gives me joy in the process so that I can be empowered to do the same for others through the enabling of Your Spirit. Make me a source of joy and a companion in recovery from negative feelings for others who may be stuck in their immaturity and in need of a lift. Teach me how to be Your assistant in bearing the weaknesses of my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. Father, according to Your Word, I ask You to write this law, this principle of Your character into my heart today.

(next in series)