Revenge or Recreation?

If Christians are supposed to leave vengeance up to God and not take revenge for themselves, what do you suppose Satan will be trying to get us to focus on? He will be repeatedly trying to draw our attention toward things that are not fair, to things that make us angry and incensed, to things that are not just tragic but that are intentionally hurtful in order to tempt us to desire any form of revenge. And in doing so we feel like we are standing up for justice and defending the name of God.

But many of those forms of revenge may not look like a desire for revenge on the surface. They may likely take on much more acceptable appearances and may even seem very righteous. Or, for those who are not much into religion, they will simply feel like evening the score, balancing the sheets, leveling the playing field, setting things straight.

Most everyone has an innate sense of fairness and the desire for relationships to be harmonious. We believe we want peace in this world and even Paul here in Romans 12 urges us to pursue peace with all men as much as possible. That is one of the biggest motivations pushing people to want to go to heaven. I suspect that the majority of people planning to live in heaven for eternity are more motivated by their desire to escape the unfairness and disharmony of this earth than they are in living in close intimacy with their loving Savior and their Heavenly Daddy. Sadly, much of our discussions and teachings about the coming Kingdom of Heaven revolve almost exclusively around this theme of getting away from others we do not like. We talk about being prisoners of hope. (note 1 Cor. 13:13) Some even carry it so far as to dwell on vivid imaginings of how their enemies are going to suffer unspeakable agonies that will never end under the supervision of an offended God. And somehow this is believed to be an attraction for people to accept “salvation” and trust in God to be “saved”.

But in reality what I see going on at the heart level is a subtle promotion of our flesh's desire for revenge and our belief that God harbors very similar feelings that we possess against His “enemies”. When we indulge in this type of thinking we are simply dressing up hatred in very religious-looking clothes and circulating it as representative of how God feels about us. What a travesty – what an abortion of truth – what diabolical deception distorting the perfect beauty of the heart of God.

But there are many variations of this theme that likely affect every one of us. This subtle desire for revenge infiltrates many more of our beliefs and doctrines than we may ever have realized. If we would be willing to humble ourselves and listen to the quiet convicting voice of the gentle Spirit of Jesus who taught us to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us, we will begin to become aware of a God who practices what He preaches. But there is a great deal of un-learning to do in our entrenched notions of a God who has more desire to “get even” with sinners than the real truth about Him as One who is unfailing kindness, compassion and love.

That does not mean there will not be very real and immense pain, torture and terrible consequences for sinning against God. The Bible is clear that in the presence of God, the angels and the Lamb of God, the lost are going to suffer unspeakable pain. But the tragic mistake is to assume that the pain is deliberately inflicted by the God in whose presence this takes place. It is an assumption that has been firmly in place since the beginning of sin, but it is still a diabolical lie nonetheless.

But what about more practical, day-to-day events that cause me to be diverted and deceived into desiring revenge without realizing it? How am I compromised without knowing it in many seemingly mundane ways?

This is something I have not really thought about or paid attention to up to this point very much. It only came more clearly to my attention just a few minutes ago from meditations on the verses I am dwelling on right now and I realize it is something that I need to explore much more thoroughly and keep in the background of my mind throughout the day. But I can think of some things right off that cause me to have intense reactions that suspiciously look very much like revenge in righteous clothing.

I know that the effect of listening to much news about vicious attacks against helpless people cause me, and most others, to feel riled up inside setting off secret imaginings of what ought to be done to those perpetrators of evil. But this is really a desire for revenge, even if it is not revenge directly related to anything done against me personally. In fact, I have begun to notice quite clearly that there are certain commercial news organizations that seem to make it their primary intent to arouse such feelings in their viewers as a matter of policy. They have discovered that people's desire for revenge can be exploited and converted into profits, so their carefully massage every story that they present to maximize the emotional reactions in their listeners to keep them baited for the next titillating revelation of injustice.

But one of the effects of exposure to this constant barrage of scandals and tragedies is the hardening of my heart and the dulling of my sensitivities to the things of the Spirit. I have noticed very distinctly that after being exposed and emotionally exercised by watching, for instance, Fox News for very long that I have a much more difficult time tuning in to the sweet, quiet voice of the Spirit. It dampens my appetite for enjoying the Word and it jades my sensitivities and arouses my lower passions. I feel more anger, resentment, bitterness and cynicism. I feel myself becoming someone I do not want to be but seemingly helpless to stop it. And all of this is urged on by the compelling argument that for some reason I need to know what is going on, I must be aware of dangers and injustices so that somehow I can turn things around or help set things straight.

These seem like very convincing arguments for becoming absorbed in all sorts of addictions to news, to conspiracy theories, to entertainment shows that provide their own versions of this theme, or other such related gossip activities. These things create venues for discussions with others, cultivate common values and bonding opportunities. But the effect on my heart is to draw me away from the emerging light that has been slowly dawning in my soul and to suck me back into the negative, self-focused, fear-based, lifestyle that has marked most of my experience up to this point.

I feel an increasing urgency by another Spirit warning me that it is dangerous to mix the common and the holy and that soon it will have tragic results for those who try to have what appears to be a “balanced life” of the religious and the secular. As we draw close to the end of this great universal war I sense that those who are following the faint beat of the Drummer from heaven will find themselves completely at odds with the heavy beat so familiar in this world and will be increasingly viewed as fanatical, unrealistic and hopelessly out of touch with reality.

This is creating a growing tension within my soul that is intensifying as time goes on. I find myself quietly contemplating choices that disturb and threaten the familiar ways of life and relationships for me. I sense a polarization taking place that makes me very uncomfortable, but then realize that following Jesus will always bring increasing discomfort and will challenge me to make more and more difficult choices putting me more at odds with the world around me. But these uncomfortable choices are not so religious looking as I was taught they would be in my upbringing, for they are much more personal in nature putting me at odds with the people closest to me. Then I have to keep going back to God asking for perspective on these tensions and conflicts with others that create increasing disharmony with them. I need to grow and mature in love for them with the love that God has for them.

This makes me more aware of my deep lack of understanding what real love is and how it works, feels and acts. It is very clear I cannot produce love myself and I make that very plain to God all the time. I can have very strong feelings of attraction, sympathy, and concern for others at times. But I am appalled sometimes at my inner callousness and emptiness when it comes to selfless love and genuine interest in others and I plead with God to fill me with real love so I will represent Him better. But then I realize that very possibly my inward container needed for receiving His love is so filled with disguised desires for revenge that there is little room for filling it with love. Besides, love and revenge simply cannot dwell in the same container – they are incompatible.

This is what I am starting to see in these verses here at the end of Romans 12. This is exposing the incompatibility of the spirit that desires revenge on those who do evil and the spirit that empowers me to be able to love my enemies – and God's enemies – and to heap coals of God's kind of fire upon their heads by treating them with His kindness and looking to meet their real needs. This is the real kind of revenge that God always engages in and that represents His feelings and character truthfully. And if I am to not bear false witness, if I am called to be a truthful witness in the trial of God, then I have to allow the true Spirit of God to remove all the variations and shades of bitterness and all desires for revenge from my heart to make room for love to flow through me.

As with all the other commands of God that are simply descriptions of who He is, I find this hopelessly impossible to accomplish. All I can do is throw up my hands in despair and discover that throwing up my hands is the perfect way to worship effectively at such a time. The only hope for my hopeless condition is for God to accomplish in my heart the very things that I see and concede are impossible for me to do.

I am so hard-wired to want revenge, to thrive on reports of evil, to be cynical and selfish that I can never become the man of God, the kind father, the humble, loving husband and friend that I must become to ever be able to synchronize with all those who will inhabit paradise. I am convicted that I am not the kind of person ready to live in the continual burning. (see Isaiah 33:14-17) I must have the transformation described in Romans 12:2 or there is certainly no hope for me. I must have the supernatural encounter with a supernatural Savior or there is no chance that I can figure it all out. I want far more than a knowledge of true facts, as important and useful as that might be. I crave a new heart that is not prewired with a bent to selfishness. I desperately need a new spirit that is focused on blessing others instead of demanding fairness with a tinge of revenge. I need God to fully swallow me up and re-create me back into His image. I need the kiss of God on my face like that which brought Adam to life there on the riverbank in Eden. God, do it again!

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