Beyond Just Blameless

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah; and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both advanced in years. (Luke 1:5-7)

They were both righteous. They were both walking blamelessly. Yet something was still missing in their lives. And as I read on further into this story I begin to sense that there was more missing than just a child. And although the record states that they were walking blamelessly, it appears that inwardly there was still much lacking to be experienced.

This reminds me of another story from the life of Jesus about someone who was believed to be blameless when it came to keeping the rules and being obedient to God. Yet this person sensed that doing all the right things and knowing all the right answers just didn't bring him the fulfillment that his heart somehow knew he needed.

I am going to combine two different gospel accounts of this story to bring the emphasis of each writer into the same narrative to save space here. The story is recorded by both Mark and Luke. What is important to note is that this happened immediately at the close of another story about mothers who brought their children to see Jesus and His disciples turning them away because they thought Jesus was too important and too busy to be bothered with such things. As most people know from this story, the disciples were rebuked by Jesus for such behavior and Jesus not only welcomed the children but also made an important statement about the nature of His kingdom in the process.

But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all."

And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them. As He was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to Him and knelt before Him, and asked Him, "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. "You know the commandments, 'DO NOT MURDER, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, DO NOT STEAL, DO NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS, Do not defraud, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.'" And he said to Him, "Teacher, I have kept all these things from my youth up." Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, "One thing you still lack: go and sell all you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property.

And Jesus, looking around, said to His disciples, "How hard it is for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

The disciples were amazed at His words. But Jesus answered again and said to them, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." They were even more astonished and said to Him, "Then who can be saved?" Looking at them, Jesus said, "With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God." (from Mark 10:14-27 and Luke 18:18-27)

This story awakens a resonating response in my own heart. I too grew up being carefully taught to keep all the commandments including going to the right church on the right day and to avoid all the wrong sins in order to prepare myself to be 'ready for Jesus to come.' Yet in all that obedience and conformity and struggles to eliminate every last sin out of my life, I found myself becoming more and more infected with a spirit of rebellion. I increasingly sensed an emptiness as the ever greater weight of all this external obedience suffocated the life out of my own spirit.

When I think back over my early years I find it difficult to remember a time when I felt really joyful, free, unafraid of God or with any sense of peace. Only in faint glimpses of very early times when I was a very young child climbing up into my father's lap for a story can I remember anything even close to what my heart longed for. But quite early on the effects of compulsive obedience began to crowd out and suffocate the natural desires and joys in my heart as I learned to live strictly from my head and conform to the many rules and regulations and doctrines in which I was carefully instructed.

The result of this intensive training and enforced obedience in order to be saved produced within me a growing fear – no, terror – of offending an already angry, impatient God who was always seeking to find some excuse to keep me out of His heaven. Of course the alternative was rather terrifying which gave me great incentive to keep trying ever harder and harder to be obedient to all that was required of me. But my heart was seldom to be noticed through all of this even though one of the requirements for obedience was to 'serve God with all of my heart...'

I remember my confusion and puzzlement as I could never make sense out of these kinds of commands. I really had no idea what it meant when the Bible spoke of 'my heart' or my spirit. The way it was worded seemed to indicate it was not referring to the physical organ pumping in my chest. Yet now I can see that I was out of touch with my own 'heart' and was completely ignorant of my spirit, or that I even had a spirit, which caused me to be pretty much clueless about the meanings of such things.

Yet when I read these things in the Word, there were times when something seemed to be so out of place, something so profound missing from all the knowledge that I was acquiring, that like the young man in this story, I sensed that something vitally important was still missing.

It made sound harsh to compare the godly Zacharias and Elizabeth to this rich young ruler. After all, it appears there is no evidence that they were rich. And although they were of the priestly order it also doesn't appear that they had much to do with rulership. So how do I find similarity between these two stories?

It goes back to the issue of our heart and how we were originally designed to live. This is where religion miserably fails to fulfill the deepest cravings of our souls. I am coming to believe that one of the baleful effects of sin in humans is the segregation between what we now observe as the important functions of the left hemisphere of the brain and the right hemisphere – what the Bible refers to as the heart. In fact, because of the physical crossover between the two halves of the brain and the rest of the body, the right side of the brain is directly connected to our physical heart in our left chest. There is even growing evidence that this is no coincidence when it comes to the relationship between the two.

What I have observed is that a religion based primarily on external obedience to rules and regulations is almost exclusively rooted in a left-brained approach. I am not completely condemning this necessarily, but I can speak from personal experience that this leaves one tragically deprived when it comes to the real needs of the soul. What the Bible refers to as our heart is largely left out of such an intellectual religion while the focus is primarily on making sure that one always does the right things and avoids doing what is viewed as wrong.

I am not suggesting here that Zacharias and his wife were not right with God because they may have been living primarily from their intellectual side. Yet observing some of the symptoms and the observing the discussions between the players in this story reveals that there was an emptiness in their lives that left them feeling less than fulfilled. This cavity was not just the absence of having a child of their own though the passage puts it that way. This vacuum in their hearts was expressed in this way because the deeper emotions that are usually experienced when a couple has a child is similar to what God wants each of us to experience in the kind of kingdom He is bringing into reality.

Why do I think that Zacharias and Elizabeth may have had primarily a left-brain religion while possibly lacking a deeper right-brain relationship with God? Because one of the primary symptoms that is produced in such a religion clearly was exposed in Zacharias when the angel from God suddenly appeared to him. The first thing the Bible says is that Zacharias was troubled. The angel then had to explicitly tell Zacharias, Do not be afraid. Yet even after this explicit instruction I sense that he was still so full of doubt and fear that he found it impossible at this point in the story to believe or embrace the incredibly good news the angel had been sent to share with him and his wife.

I see a similarity to this in the reaction of the young ruler who suddenly ran up to Jesus impulsively after watching how Jesus affectionately related to the little children and how kindly He treated them. It was that affection, those loving looks, even the defensiveness Jesus revealed when the disciples tried to turn the mothers away that really caught this young man's attention. And isn't this the true way of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? (Romans 2:4)

Like so many of us, this man had been raised to keep all the rules. He had faithfully memorized all his memory verses in school and had learned to follow all the rituals and routines expected in religion. And remember, the religion he was part of was the 'right religion', not some false version like what the Samaritans practiced or any other 'church.' The people Jesus came to work among were God's chosen people who had thousands of years of history of being taught and led by God.

Yet after performing everything he was told to do to be righteous; after keeping all the rules and practicing all the religious routines as spelled out by the Scriptures and religious traditions, when this young man observed the kind of heart treatment that the little children received from Jesus, his own heart suddenly awakened with intense longing inside of him and he yearned to be able to experience what he saw those children experiencing with Jesus. I can certainly resonate with the story says this man ran up to Him. I think I would do exactly the same thing myself.

You see, I am all too familiar with what it means to strive to be righteous, how to work hard to earn a good reputation for being blameless. But when it comes to being loved in the way that Jesus expressed it, especially with people who most of us would view as not very worthy of being loved, I too suddenly feel deep within myself an intense sense of emptiness and longing to be embraced by such a Father.

That is why that phrase only found in Mark's version of this story resonates so powerfully with me in particular. Mark observes that at this point, after this man exposes to Him the emptiness of his own heart that Jesus looks at him, and Mark says that Jesus felt a love for him.

The look that Jesus gave this man is a look I have been yearning for all of my life. It is not just that Jesus had His eyes turned in this man's direction. Oh no, it means far more than that! I am told that in the original language this expression strongly implies that Jesus put His full heart and body into the compassionate gaze that He focused on this hurting, empty young man. And in doing so His body language expressed what His eyes were pouring out – the passionate love of heaven for this man who had found religion to be so unfulfilling in his life.

This is the missing piece that religion fails to provide to us. This is why doing all the right things still leaves us wondering why we don't experience the kind of peace and joy that we read about or occasionally glimpse in other people's lives. Yet this is the experience that every one of our hearts desperately longs for and must have if it is to come alive, to experience healing and to begin to thrive.

What I see in the encounter between Zacharias and Gabriel is a typical reaction of a technically obedient religious man when he suddenly encounters the overwhelming love, the favor and a blessing from God that his heart has always longed but his head blocks him from embracing.

This is why I feel so frustrated that I am not yet seemingly able to embrace this kind of offer by God, even if I were to encounter Gabriel myself. And although my heart has been slowly awakening as my perceptions of how God feels about me have been challenged and revised over and over, my heart still yearns for much more. I feel like I am only scratching the surface and that I am still living largely in darkness and out of touch with the kind of joy and gladness that this angel was talking about.

The good news in the story of Zacharias and his wife is that eventually they did celebrate and embrace the amazing gifts of God. And those gifts went far beyond simply being able to hold their own child in their arms. The real gifts and blessings they received involved being set free to live in new dimensions of love and faith and joy like they had never dreamed could be possible for them.

I am left wondering how or when I can finally enter into the joy of my Lord and know the much richer fulfillment that I hear He longs to give to my heart. I wonder how much more it will take to pry open or soften my own heart so that love can finally begin to fuel my life instead of fear, selfishness or forced obedience.

I know all too well how to keep the rules, how to keep up good appearances, how to obey the commandments and earn the respect of others for my good behavior. But to live in joy, to swim in the ocean of God's love that I hear rumors about or catch glimpses of in stories like this, still seems out of reach for my own heart. Yet I know that God longs for me to enter into this kind of relationship with Him and that leaves me wondering what is still preventing me from just going there directly. Why does it take so long and have to be so confusing and frustrating to cast off the lies and inhibitions and resistance that have for so long prevented my own heart from living the way it was created to function?

I notice that in Jesus' response to the rich young ruler, He did not knock this man's life of obedience to the rules. He did not tell him that living obediently from the head should be abandoned in favor of some new formula or to turn away from religion altogether. No, Jesus simply said that this man lacked one thing and he could begin to experience what his heart was yearning for so desperately if he was willing to deal with that one issue.

That 'one thing' is not the same for everyone. Not everyone is rich or stuck on hoarding what they have and are unwilling to share. Jesus didn't give this same response to everyone who asked Him how to enter into the kingdom. Each person has their own unique obstacles that prevents their heart from embracing the truth about God's love for them. And those obstacles are usually the blind spots in their own life that prevents them from even being aware of the real issue that holds them hostage.

Paul says that his life was considered blameless when it came to keeping the law (see Philippians 3:4-10). Yet we have no record of God telling Paul he needed to sell all his possessions and give all his money to the poor. Paul had different issues than the young ruler, though his circumstances may have appeared similar. Zacharias had his own issues and had to be disciplined because of his unbelief in resisting the good news that God sent to him. Each one of us has areas in which we get stuck and resistant to the love that Jesus longs to pour into our lives. And I am impatient to get past whatever it is that blocks my own heart from plunging into this love that I am learning fills the heart of God for me.

I want to experience what it must feel like to come under the intense gaze of the loving eyes of Jesus as He focuses directly on me. Yes, that gaze will make me squirm as the light of that penetrating affection exposes all that is hiding inside of me that resists the light. But the benefits of living in love so far outweigh the supposed advantages of living 'safely' within my comfort zone that I invite Him to do whatever it takes to draw me into His arms and let me sit on His lap like all the other little children.

This reminds me of my intense three-month study I did some time ago on Matthew 18 where it begins with a similar revelation about the nature of Jesus' kingdom. At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me." (Matthew 18:1-5)

Sometimes I find myself intently observing little innocent children when they play joyfully. At such times I can catch a glimpse of what my heart longs to be like – free of inhibitions and all the baggage and lies about God and life that have robbed me of freedom to live and celebrate life with abandon like they are able to do. I view such children as my teachers during those times as my heart tries to learn again how to live the way it was designed by God to live. I take seriously that Jesus said explicitly that unless I am converted – radically changed in the way I think and perceive reality – and become like a little child, I will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

One thing that attracts me most about such exhibitions of joy in little ones is their freedom of fear about what others might think about them. Yes, there can often be shyness present, but that is very different than fear of being abused or punished or forced to conform. It is that sense of abandon and freedom to be expressive because they feel safe to be themselves without fear of retribution that I long to experience in my own life. And that is what I believe God is leading all to know who are willing to allow Him to heal all the damage that sin and wrong training or abuse has caused in our hearts.

God, teach me Your ways – the ways that can still be glimpsed in innocent children not yet suffocated by the conditioning of this world. Be my loving Daddy, my caring Mentor, the Mother and/or Father that offers to take me onto Your lap and hold me tight to dissipate all the fear and apprehensions that debilitate me. Help me to appreciate more deeply that you are ready to rebuke all the religious zealots who try to keep me away from enjoying Your strong arms of affection around me. And remind me that You long to hold them in Your arms the same way, but they don't yet see that this is the kingdom You came to bring.

Jesus, at the same time I see that am also one of those religious men like Your disciples that has too often scared others away from running to Your arms. Forgive me for that and help me to rest in You like other little children do who can see You better than I can. Teach me to let Your love so fill me with life that the transformation that is effected in me becomes so obvious that others will want to come to You themselves.

Thank-you for revealing more about what You are really like to me in these stories and through Your Spirit. I keep choosing to open my heart as far as I can get it open each time You come. It is starting to loosen up more than it used to be able to, and for that I am extremely grateful.

But there is so much more I sense You want to do in me, to heal me and for me to experience in Your presence. There is so much more capacity You want to bring into my heart to embrace Your love so that in turn I can more willingly and readily pass it on to others who like me are confused, afraid, wounded or defensive. Keep healing me deeper so that You can use me to more effectively bring hope of healing to others. Thank-you again for Your increasing revelations of love to me, and I trust You to finish what You are doing in my life for Your glory.