Learning the LIght

So Jesus said to them, "For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light." (John 12:35-36)

Just pondering these words and noticing the three points highlighted here is so profound I want to just absorb it without analysis for awhile. I sense that there is so much about to explode into my heart and mind from this that I need to adjust my thinking so as to be as open as possible and not prevent my heart from catching anything the Holy Spirit may want to share with me. (Selah)

What is even more fascinating is the immediate context for these statements. These words of Jesus seem almost disconnected from the questions directed at Him related to His previous comments. On the surface at least, it appears that Jesus is intentionally ignoring the doubting questions of those who insistently seek to deny the truth about His divinity. That in itself is a powerful lesson for me to learn.

So often I feel compelled to answer people's questions directly. Yet I have learned – or should have learned by now – that too often people's questions can be temptations or manipulations to draw me into an endless argument which has no outlet but darkness. I have become more aware as of late of the vital importance of paying attention to the condition of the spirit, both my own and that of those I am interacting with if I want to keep my inner peace. There simply are too many potholes in which I can receive injury and drop into shame needlessly by getting entangled in quibbling over things that can be simply diversions to pursuing a saving relationship with my Savior.

Many of these diversions are all too familiar to me as many of them were the mainstream issues of debate and teaching during my formative years. I now have so much to unlearn from religion and so much to learn from Jesus that I simply cannot afford to waste my time arguing about things that are clearly rooted on fear rather than faith. That BS detector has proved extremely useful for me for analyzing whether something is worth discussing or whether it is a diversion to keep me preoccupied while my spirit is being poisoned at the same time. If I sense that a person is motivated primarily by fear and is seeking to impose that fear on me, I immediately feel alerted to my need to seek a higher perspective and be reminded of the many things I am being taught from God that give me a completely new view of reality and my own identity in Christ.

The people around Jesus wanted to draw Him into a debate about popular beliefs about the Messiah. Their misconceptions about what the Messiah was supposed to be like and what he was supposed to do was the main reason that most people rejected Jesus as being the right one to fulfill that role. The life and teachings of Jesus were so radically out of sync with their Scripture based opinions about their expected Messiah that most simply could not see how He could be considered a viable candidate to fulfill those prophecies. Many of them had read the Scriptures and knew what they said, but their hearts had been so darkened by religious assumptions that they refused to challenge, that they simply could not reconcile the radical discrepancies between Jesus and their expectations of a deliverer.

The more I have been learning about the true character and nature of God the more I see that we are little if any different today. Every system and version of religion that I know of today carries similar baggage and prejudices as those that so blinded the Jews of Jesus' day. And those prejudices so hardened their hearts that at times Jesus simply turned away from even discussing them as He did at this point in His conversation with them. Rather than be drawn into arguing over the validity or accuracy of their opinions about the Messiah, He simply dropped down to the real issue that lay beneath the problem of their misunderstanding and tried to speak to their hearts instead of just their head. He began to warn them about the dangers of clinging to traditional interpretations and prejudices instead of opening their minds and hearts to view things in a completely new perspective as He had been seeking to share with them for so long.

Interestingly I have found myself in a similar situation just in the past few days. I got caught up in an online discussion with a group of people who long to learn and share much more about the emerging truths of God's character. I share that same passion and so I was drawn into a discussion that emerged among them via emails about a book that one of them had written. I have not read much of that book yet, but what I have read seems to be interesting at least and I intend to go further as I find the time.

However, in this discussion the apparent leader of this think group began to try to discredit the book and warn people that he believed it contained false information. The tenor of his comments disturbed me and particularly because he never presented any valid evidence of what he disagreed with in the book. He simply inferred that there were points in the book that he felt could not be substantiated and that his personal views about a technical difference were the only views acceptable.

I hesitated at first to get involved, but since I had initiated a relationship with this man a few months ago and had become somewhat acquainted with him as a result, and also because we have just finished an intensive study of Matthew 18 in our church that lasted over three months in which it became clear how Jesus wants us to resolve differences, I decided to take the risk and send a private email to this man appealing for him to be a bit more gracious and humble in the way he was writing about those with whom he disagreed.

The response I received from him gave me mixed feelings about what was going on in his mind and heart. But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and continued to read with interest the intensifying debate between a number of his friends about the book. One of them very helpfully condensed the opinions of each person involved in the debate so at last I could figure out what the real issues were in plain words. But when I saw what was being contended it became more apparent that this leader seemed to have a spirit of contention that was all too familiar to me from people in my own past. I can all too readily recognize that spirit of divisiveness and subtle pride cloaking itself as humility but that is really religious arrogance. I am not saying this to judge anyone but simply from observing that spirit in all too many people I have known from my past.

The problem that immediately arises is that I am all too vulnerable to having that same spirit myself. We detect most readily in others the issues that are often unresolved in our own hearts and I am keenly aware of that. How to approach someone per the instructions of Jesus in Matthew 18 to seek resolution while avoiding being triggered to reflect the same spirit requires a great deal of prayer, humbling and intense communication with the Spirit of God for a higher perspective and a right spirit beyond what comes naturally. It is so easy to judge someone who is judging you or others but it takes divine wisdom and close dependence on the Spirit of Jesus to adopt a spirit that is humble enough to not become triggered by the potential ignitions that may result from approaching someone about their faults.

When it became evident in the email discussions that this brother was unwilling to alter his tone and was agitating others and creating distress, I reluctantly decided to try one more time to appeal to him to reconsider his tone and spirit. I had no interest in getting involved about the facts of the debate as to whether they were true or not, but rather I wanted to point out that the spirit in the hearts of those involved were far more important than the accuracy of facts, as important as that can be. This time I sent the email to all involved and prayed my way through it with great trepidation seeking to humble myself as much as possible while composing it.

What resulted was almost surprising. Several people immediately responded with joy and relief and appreciation which made me feel affirmed and encouraged. To my amazement the one who had written the book and was under the most attack responded by accepting all the blame for what the other antagonist was doing as if he had been the one at fault. But sadly the main person creating the tension reacted defensively again as he had done each time previously. At that point I decided my input was enough for a group of people I had never even met and felt it was time to go back to observer status.

The next morning which happened to be Sabbath during my meditations with God I collected a number of verses that were emerging in my mind as personal encouragement for my own heart. I had no intention or thought of sharing them with anyone else, but as I finished I felt impressed to simply post them to this group as a neutral offer of encouragement for any who might be open to it.

What happened next greatly saddened me. Instead of taking it at face value as simply a list of interesting and potentially encouraging Scriptures, the leader who has been defending himself insistently from the very beginning and blaming everyone else for all the problems, sent me a return email strongly suggesting that I am in great danger of being deceived by worldly delusions involving meditation and other like issues popularly being attacked by conservative critics today. I immediately sensed that I was coming into the crosshairs of a potential avalanche of criticism from a person who may likely indulge in this on a regular basis and that the best way to deal with it was to not fuel the attack by any response. I do not want to become defensive for I know that anything I say will only be used to attack me further. I am all too familiar with that technique by those who's spirit is reflective of the great accuser of the brethren.

As I read this passage this morning I felt God reaffirming this lesson for me, for Jesus had to deal with critics constantly and is the perfect pattern of how to relate to such people. Only the Holy Spirit from Jesus can give us the wisdom and peace and keep us in the rest that God has for those who trust in Him. I do not want to allow anyone to steal the growing peace that I am enjoying in God, and those who insist on dwelling on a spirit of fear and want to infect others with that debilitating spirit, I need to avoid getting involved with whenever possible.

These words of Jesus are a warning and admonition to my own heart in my present circumstances. He has been reminding me lately that the many things He has been sharing with me from the Word and other sources about His true nature and how He relates to us are not just exciting pieces of cognitive information to collect and share with others. These things must transform my own heart and the way I relate to situations and people if I am to be changed by them and not lose them. I must not just learn the wonderful truth about God's character but I must allow that truth to be worked out in my choices each day. I must walk in the light while I am being blessed with increasing light before events in this world make it much more difficult to see the light.

By choosing to walk, or act on the light of emerging truth and seeking to open my heart to embrace and believe at the deepest level these stunning revelations about God that I have been learning, the result will be – according to Jesus' own words – that I can become a son of the Light. I like that. I find that encouraging and it inspires hope in my heart that He will finish the work He is doing in me.