The Sisters

Therefore many of the Jews who came to Mary, and saw what He had done, believed in Him. (John 11:45)

I have previously noticed the curious differences I see in references throughout this story and in other places to Mary. Sometimes Mary and Martha are mentioned together and at the beginning of this story that is the case also. Other places they are mentioned alone and even the sequence in which they are listed I believe may be significant.

I believe that John was making intentional inferences in the way in which he referred to these sisters particularly throughout this story and in the order in which he listed them each time. At the beginning of the story, since the story is primarily centered around Lazarus, he is listed first and then Mary and then Martha. The location of this event is 'the village of Mary' and then her sister's name is added.

I believe that one of the reasons John is so careful to arrange their names in various places is to make some important points for those who would read between the lines and ponder the differences between these two sisters. Different people can relate quite differently to these stories because they have different personality traits that resonate with one or the other sisters. I have observed that for years and have found it to be helpful and instructive.

I have long gotten the sense that Mary was not only quite attractive physically but she also likely had a very magnetic personality that tended to draw people to herself, especially men. Whether she intended to exploit that natural gift or not it was simply a fact of who she was. On the other hand I sense that Martha may well have been much less glamorous physically and her personality was likely very different from that of Mary's. This could at times have caused some insecurity on the part of both women for different reasons. Martha being the more pragmatic and thinking type usually gravitated toward noting what needed to be done and paid attention to social details. This is why she became so frustrated when Mary was spending so much of her time sitting at Jesus' feet while Martha was stewing in the kitchen in more ways than one. Mary on the other hand was much more focused on people rather than on surroundings and could easily be distracted by social interaction.

The reason Mary was sitting with the men and was mesmerized by the words of Jesus was because she had come to realize her weakness in this area and how much she needed to keep close to Jesus. She had learned from very painful experience that this was the only choice that could empower her to keep from falling into sin so easily. Martha did not face the same sort of temptations as Mary because she did not have the same physical and social disposition and attractions as Mary. Because of this Martha's temptations were along a different line. She was used to trusting to her own resources, skills and experience to get things done expeditiously. She was an organizer efficiently bringing people together to do whatever needed to be done to keep things moving smoothly. Mary on the other hand was the talker, the life of the party wherever she went. Her smile was irresistible and her personality and appearance drew people around her like a strong magnet.

Because of these differences there could have been times of tension between these two sisters. Mary's life of moral failure must have been a source of deep embarrassment and shame to Martha. Yet because she was her sister she was willing to let her come home because she was unwilling to view her like so many others who were more interested in condemning her than in caring for her heart. I find it interesting that almost nothing is said about Lazarus as far as his personality or relations with his sisters. In fact I cannot think of a single instance where Lazarus is quoted as saying anything at all.

I can't help but think that John called this village the village of Mary because she was by this time so publicly known for various reasons. Her loose lifestyle and many friends from various backgrounds made her well-known for quite a distance around. She is also known in other references as Mary of Magdela or Mary Magdelene. Magdela was a city some distance away where many Roman troops were stationed. It was an army town and very likely Mary had spent considerable time there 'servicing' the baser desires of the soldiers in exchange for lucrative profits.

Throughout the gospels the story of Mary can be pieced together to understand her better. Apparently Jesus had taken a keen interest in Mary earlier in His ministry and had come to her rescue at least seven times by casting out demonic spirits that had taken over her life due to her promiscuity or other activities. When Jesus began working with her she was likely far from being welcomed back home and it was only through His persistent intervention that she was later finally able to even come home and feel welcome enough to hang out there when Jesus was around.

Mary had a long and intense history with Jesus and because of this had much deeper emtions for Him than possibly anyone else at that time. Being an emotionally-oriented person to start with, Mary had spent a lot of time getting her life turned around, for the typical methods that others used to 'get their act together' didn't really work for her. Each time she made resolutions to change her lifestyle and begin 'living straight' her emotions would overcome her and she would be sucked back into indulging in familiar activities that had become her source of temporarily feeling good. She was a classic case of an addict dependent on her 'drugs of choice' to keep going. But Jesus able to demonstrate in her life the truth that love, compassion and forgiveness can change anyone who is willing to hang in with Him.

Based on considerable history up to this point, John identifies the village of Bethany as 'Mary's village' along with Martha. These siblings had come to open their home to Jesus anytime He was near, to provide a safe place for Him to hang out, rest and refresh Himself without feeling threatened by the ever-present enemies from the religious establishment. The more these siblings got to know Jesus the more they wanted to have Him visit, for His presence and influence brought a blessing to their souls like nothing they had ever encountered before. In becoming some of Jesus' closest friends they had not been disappointed for He had accepted their affections for Him and blessed them possibly more than any other family.

The intensity of affection from this family and particularly in Mary's heart is the reason John takes special note to make sure the readers know this is the same Mary that was involved in the scandalous event where she washed His feet with perfume and had stirred up so much trouble with the establishment for doing so. That is another very compelling story but it must wait till I get there in the next chapter. But the point John wanted to make here is that this is a woman who was intensely emotional and expressive of her feelings far more than others around her.

While Mary's emotional makeup made her a powerful magnet attracting many friends of all types, her ability to draw people to her also created a great deal of jealousy and even hostility among the religious leaders who were themselves quite addicted to recognition and public attention. Ironically it would not be at all surprising if some of these very leaders had had improper relations with Mary themselves and had exploited her for personal pleasure but then turned around to betray her and condemned her publicly for things they had participated in themselves while covering up their own involvement.

The differences between Mary and Martha's personalities I believe figure prominently in this story and John seems to want to note that carefully. It was evident for people to see how easy it was to be affectionate of Mary for she was such an attractive person already. Nearly everyone liked Mary in a way but for different sorts of reasons and even those who wanted to condemn her for her many sins were drawn to her physically. While they didn't love her with kind of love that cared about her as a person, few could resist the allure of her natural attractions.

On the other hand Martha was a very different person. I sense that Martha very possibly was not nearly so much a naturally attractive person. She may have been quite reserved and maybe even plain looking. She did not have the charisma that Mary had and may have even at times been jealous of her sister growing up for this very reason. But as she saw how much trouble Mary's natural attractiveness caused her sister she may have begun to wonder if her plainness might not be a blessing in disguise. Yet I suspect that Martha had come to compensate for her lack in this area by depending heavily on her performance as a good host and her abilities to network and please people in other ways than Mary did to help make herself feel valuable.

While Mary had learned she could use her personality and her body to attract attention as her method for feeling valuable, Martha had her own ways to prop up her self-image. But Jesus was intent on addressing the inadequacies of both approaches for defining a person's value. Jesus wanted these sisters and everyone else to come to realize that the only real source of value and identity and a sense of self-worth comes from experiencing how God feels about them and knowing in their heart that they are His special children. He wanted them to come to know this, not from anything they could do to earn attention or affections from others but by receiving it directly from the Son of God.

Because of this background I find it significant in verse five that John says Jesus listed Martha first as the one He loved rather than Mary or even Lazarus. In fact, this verse does not even mention Mary's name. I believe that was because by this time there was little question that Jesus loved Mary after their long history of rescues and redemption and their growing close relationship. But Martha at this point was really struggling with her feelings about herself and what God thought of her. Yes, Mary was also struggling with her feelings about Jesus right then too, but Martha had not experienced the same personal encounters with Jesus that Mary had so many times so here John makes a point of noting that Jesus' love specifically included Martha, the less lovable (in her own mind), less attractive sister.

In verse 19 the sisters are listed again and this time Martha is listed first again. This is in reference to the Jews who had come to share in their grief which I find instructive from another angle. In this case, unlike a similar reference in verse 45, some of the Jews may have likely come to try to reinforce doubts about Jesus in the mind of Martha in particular during her most vulnerable moments. It is clear other places in the story that some of these Jews were intentionally wanting to insinuate doubts about Jesus' intentions and character. These were friends of higher leaders who had come to deeply hate Jesus and were looking for every excuse possible to discredit Him with as many as possible. So when they saw this situation developing in the lives of some of Jesus' best friends they thought they had found the perfect opportunity to exploit it to their advantage to encourage bitterness in the hearts of these sisters. If nothing else they could hurt Jesus as deeply as possible by turning these two women against Him.

Because Martha was the one possibly struggling the most between her emotions and her head beliefs about Jesus, it was Martha that first chose to go out to meet Him upon His arrival. Though it is not specifically noted in the text, I am increasingly of the opinion that Mary likely also knew that Jesus had arrived but was unwilling to go face Him because of her deeply conflicted feelings about Him and her disappointment that He had seemingly failed them. But Martha was willing to give Jesus a chance to speak for Himself so she went out to dialogue with Him – which turned out to be vitally important in the outcome of this story. Because Martha was willing to engage with Him even in her great pain, Jesus was able to draw valuable faith from her heart and increase it through His gift of heavenly life and wisdom. Martha became the 'link of permission' that allowed Jesus to continue His plans to reverse the evil that presently clouded their thinking.

Even after receiving the words and promises of Jesus initially, Martha was still having a hard time putting all the pieces together in her mind while Jesus kept pushing her beyond her comfort zone by asking to have the stone removed. Jesus kept working with her as He wanted to teach her to trust Him implicitly even when surrounding circumstances seemed to be overwhelmingly against trusting in His goodness. I feel Jesus was working primarily with Martha in this story as her faith was being tested severely, but because of her willingness to listen and cooperate with Him her faith was also being dramatically strengthened.

Nothing is said about their inevitable emotional feelings after Lazarus was finally unwrapped and welcomed back to the land of the living. There is no doubt that most everyone present experienced intense reversals of the feelings they had previously been experiencing, but not all those involved shared in the unexpected joy. Those who had been gloating over the apparent failure of Jesus to maintain His reputation of compassion and had been attempting to exploit this to their advantage likely felt humiliated and even angered by this amazing miracle. That is the tragic effect of sin which causes us to have opposite priorities from heaven's priorities. Rather than celebrating the goodness of God and the joy of these sisters they had come to 'console', these men rushed away to deliver the 'terrible news' to the leaders that their well-crafted plans to undermine Jesus had backfired once again and they were now in a serious dilemma politically and in other ways. While Lazarus' family was celebrating and soaking in the goodness and glory of God, others were hatching a plot to kill both of them.

In this last reference in verse 45 only Mary is listed in reference to the Jews who had come out to be with them. I see here again a distinction made between those who had come primarily for Mary's sake and those who had come to undermine Martha's faith in Jesus. Many of those who were real friends of Mary and had come to share in her grief did not share the dark motives of those who were in sympathy with the animosity of the religious leaders. These friends of Mary were much more open to the testimony about what God is like demonstrated through this grand miracle of grace and responded by dramatically increased belief in what Jesus had come to reveal about God.

But those who had come to infiltrate the mourners to spread doubt and unbelief to as many as possible and especially to Martha were the ones who in verse 46 hurried away to consolidate new plans to exterminate this increasing threat to their position and power. Martha had been saved from their evil intentions to wean her growing affections away from Jesus, but the future of Jesus' ministry on earth had definitely reached a turning point in the performance of this miracle for her family.