Too Little is Enough

"There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are these for so many people?" (John 6:9)

I was ready to start on this post several days ago with some very specific ideas I wanted to capture, but I have waited so long to come back to it that many of them have gone back into hiding. But I do know that the core thought that grabbed my attention was the principle of the 'little' that operates in heaven's kingdom that seems to contradict the way we normally view things.

But then, that's what I keep seeing more and more clearly. The kingdom of heaven according to our perspective is almost always upside down to what makes 'sense' to us. Last weekend I visited a Sabbath School class where they are studying the book “The Upside Down Kingdom” which really alerted me again to this reality. Nearly everything that Jesus did and taught seems to invade or violate principles that we are so used to ordering our lives after.

This principle of too little not being a problem at all seems absurd to us, myself included. Yet how many times did Jesus challenge human assumptions by fishing for faith in circumstances that defied normal logic? At the same time, what I see in this story is that Jesus needs full access to that 'little' resource before He can take it, bless it and multiply it for our good. The focus on what they did not have in the answer of Philip before this offer by Andrew was not something that Jesus could work with. He was not about to multiply their absence of money. But as soon as Andrew made the comment recorded in this verse Jesus was ready to swing into action building on the 'little bit' that was offered.

Many of the stories of God's intervention throughout the Bible revolve around this idea of God's provision through something impossibly small. The oil and flour that kept reappearing for the widow in Elijah's story and a similar experience for yet another widow in a similar experience came from faith combined with willingness to offer a little bit to God. Likewise, some time later Jesus and His disciples faced an almost identical situation to what is referred to here and they still did not really engage their faith in God's desire to bless through the little.

I am beginning to wonder if there is something of a formula here. Maybe in some circumstances it is not enough to just have faith. Jesus seems to be conveying through these stories an idea that He may need an anchor point in our lives, something over which we have control or influence which while totally inadequate is still something we can hand over to God. When we make such decisions and choose to move in His direction instead of waiting until a solution is clearer in our thinking, God seems to specialize in taking our meager resources and throwing them at impossible odds and surprising us with joy that brings honor to His reputation.

Sometimes I wonder if the 'little' that I have to offer at times may seem totally irrelevant initially. What if the little that I have seems to be nothing but pain, sorrow or brokenness? Too often I think, like as reflected in Andrew's comment above, that the little I have to offer may not be of any use to Jesus. But if I have ownership over it or have influence to access it, when mixed with even a particle of faith can suddenly explode into an epiphany of glory and praise to my caring, loving Father.

I am currently in the middle of reading the book “The Shack” which I understand has raised some intense emotions and controversy recently among the religious. The farther I get into this book the more obvious I see why this is so. Yet what I have read so far has only reinforced and deepened my appreciation for the many surprising and unusual truths about God that He has been revealing to me for a number of years now. I am surprised that someone has so many of these uncommon concepts of God collected all in the same place and has presented them so compellingly. I realize that I may not agree technically on every doctrinal belief with this author, but the significant points that he is attempting to convey about God's feelings and desires towards us are in full sync with what God has been showing me personally over the past few years.

One thing is becoming clear to me the longer I keep drawing closer to God: religion as normally advanced will almost certainly cause me to view God through very distorted vision and will always lead me to an external mode of trying to get right with God rather than enter into a saving relationship with Him. The real problem of sin is not that we do bad things or make God upset with us or break rules laid out for us somewhere, although all that is certainly involved. But the real core of sin that keeps us doing all those things compulsively is that in the deepest places of our heart and soul we resist believing that God is really good, that He cares completely for us and that He can be fully trusted in any and all circumstances.

This is the recurring theme through every story of Jesus' life while here on earth.

This is the recurring theme through every story in my life and in your life.

Am I going to trust God? I cannot initially, for it is impossible to trust someone until you have had time and some interaction with them to come to know if they are worthy of trust. And that time must also be filled with experiences in relationship with that person before you can know in your heart that they can be relied on consistently.

Jesus came to reveal the trustworthiness of God. But He did not insist that we immediately convert over to trusting Him instantly. He spends time with us, is patient with our horribly twisted ideas about what God is like but keeps challenging us to readjust how we feel about Him until we have enough roots grown deep within us so that He can take the highest place of priority in our hearts.

Father, I so desperately want to believe in Your heart much more than I do. I sometimes glimpse little snippets of Your glory but then the darkness seems to engulf me again for a season. But I am learning to shift my focal point, to turn away from the normal assumptions and paradigms and pull together the fragments of Your blessings and tokens for good in my life. I am learning that when I choose to do this the light begins to again brighten a little more and I can sense that You never did leave me at any time.

Father – Jesus, keep working with me. Of course I know that You are, but I say that to give you even more access to my heart. The thirst that is growing inside of me for Your presence at times ebbs and flows, but I want to live more openly and consistently in the shadow of Your presence and love. I am so unlike You in so many areas of my character, but all I can do is take the little that I find inside of me and the little that I have control of around me and offer it to You to do whatever it is You do with such things.

What are these for so many people? I don't have to know the answer to that question, I just need to know Your heart better and offer what I have to You, living in anticipation of Your surprises in my life, in my family and in my circle of influence. Thank-you so much.