Clueless but Growing

But He said to them, "I have food to eat that you do not know about." (John 4:32)

How many years have I remained hungry because I have been ignorant and oblivious to the kind of food that so energized Jesus?

How many people claiming to follow Jesus and who attend church and may even teach others still are not tasting the kind of food that Jesus was enjoying?

What will it take to wake us up to the real nature of our hunger? To realize that religion is not what God is offering us but a relationship with Him (that at times may seem very uncomfortable)?

It is easy to talk about having a relationship with God and all the benefits that doing that can bring us. But when it comes right down to everyday life, how very few people actually are willing to get serious about investing the emotional time and energy needed to develop the bonds required to have a relationship with anyone, especially God. Most people want to appear to be spiritual, to have others compliment them on how righteous they may be or to conform to traditional assumptions about what a religious person is supposed to do. But when all of the externals and religious exercises are swept away, how much of what might be left would give evidence that I have a vital connection with my Father in heaven that is not dependent on religious rituals or other people's opinions about me?

These disciples were not atheists. They were not men who lived outside the religious structures and practices that were at least in part handed to their ancestors by Jesus Himself. These men were all Jews, a race of people chosen by God to be His representatives on earth and to attract all other nations to a knowledge of God. The Jews had certainly abused that privilege to the point where they were about to divorce themselves completely and finally as a nation from this privileged relationship to God. But they were certainly a people who were very religious and their religion was based on worship of the true God more than any other religion of that day.

Granted, these disciples did not come from among the religious teachers of the day. They were common men from average occupations and likely all of them were quite young at that time. But still, their religious heritage as Jews had immersed them all of their lives in an atmosphere where the Torah was taught and enforced for everyone living in Israel at that time. They very likely were in the habit of attending services every Sabbath day listening to the sermons and attending all of the religious feasts each year. They were very familiar with the sacrificial system and all of the routines and laws handed down by Moses along with many more added by well-meaning priests and rabbis since.

But given all of the religious background and culture and practices, we find these disciples standing here in this story completely confused about what was important and the real implications of Who they were following around everyday. They thought that they believed that Jesus was the Messiah, but their self-centered notions about the real meaning of that word had blinded them to the spiritual dimension of Jesus' presence and their own deep hunger that had been suppressed all of their lives by the elaborate system of religion and its external forms and routines.

The very people who had the most religion were discovered in this story to be the least aware of true spiritual realities. I have no doubt that their souls were just as much in need of spiritual nurturing and nutrition as were the hearts of the people from Samaria. But their minds were so completely clouded with false ideas about God, about the Messiah, about religion and about the true condition of their own hearts – clouded because of deeply entrenched prejudices and misconceptions of all kinds – that when faced with a scene of great joy and one of the most explicit revelations of true conversion taking place in hearts of people who really did understand their need, the disciples were left scratching their heads because they were totally focused on the externals alone.

Because they could only see the externals they could not figure out why Jesus was acting so excited and nearly delirious with pleasure. They could clearly see that He was experiencing something that had seemed to eliminate His interest in physical food, but in trying to solve this mystery they could only consider options that might explain how He may have satisfied His physical hunger some way without their knowing about it. Nothing else could explain it because their capacity to comprehend spiritual realities was still far too small. They were familiar with religion but they were not tapped into the spiritual dimension of their lives yet.

Of course, it is easier to see such things in the lives of others in stories like this than it is to admit that maybe I am in the same condition as they were.

But how willing am I to have my assumptions about what is important be challenged by events such as this that defy my simplistic ways of explaining things?

How willing am I to have God move me past my prejudices and limited views of reality and take me out of my comfort zone?

How teachable am I?

How humble am I willing to be to lay aside my preconceptions about religion and allow the Spirit to convict me of things I have never thought about before?

How willing am I to admit that my immaturity may limit my capacity to comprehend or figure out things that make no sense to me in spiritual situations?

Father, thank-you for keeping me close to you and having me follow Jesus even when I am clueless as to what He is doing or feeling. Jesus didn't get upset with His disciples for being so clueless and prejudiced that day; He just exposed them to things way over their heads and modeled to them relationships and spiritual dimensions of life that would later become intensely useful for them when they were converted and more mature themselves. I want to be Your disciple too, but I don't want to take so long to catch on to what You are trying to show me.

Father, I come to You for enlightenment, but most of all for an awakening of my own spirit as You bring more of Your light into my heart. I want to have an experience with You more along the lines of what this woman had with Jesus rather than what the disciples demonstrated in this story. And though I want to stay close to You like they did, I want to be less clueless as to what You are really up to and what You are feeling and experiencing. I want to be more in tune with how You see things and situations and people and be more in sympathy with Your heart. Dwell in me today and grow me up so I can see reality and people around me more like You see them.