Grace After Law

But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious...(1 Timothy 1:8-9)

I keep coming back to this part of the chapter listening for what else God has to show me here. Now I am beginning to see some connections more clearly between these two parts of this passage.

Paul was intimately familiar with the kind of people he was referring to in this passage, people who thought of themselves as teachers of the law but actually were engaged in fruitless discussions. How did he know so much about them? Because he used to be right in the center of them himself. He was one of the main people who studied the law endlessly to amass proof for the beliefs that he had grown up being taught. He himself had researched endless genealogies and had speculated with his peers who were among the elite scholars of the Jews. So he was not just making accusations about people he knew little about. He had once been a strong leader doing the very things that he now warns others against getting involved in.

He was also painfully aware that he himself was one of the people that he lists here as those who needed the law. While professing to be a strict adherent and teacher of the law himself and considered himself to be very righteous, he also used his zeal for the law to persecute and advocate violence against all those whom he felt were betraying the law of the Jews by spreading heresy. He was particularly upset by a new and very dangerous cult that were teaching perverted interpretations of the Torah and making claims that to any good Jewish scholar were obviously blasphemy. And it was well established that the punishment for blasphemy according to the law was death by stoning. So Paul, back then Saul, was not out of line at all in simply trying to enforce the clear pronouncements from the very mouth of God given through Moses in the law.

This is the context from which Paul is now writing his letter to Timothy. He knows that anyone who is aware of his background could consider him a hypocrite for saying such things about people who were no different than the life he had once strenuously advocated. But he makes the point here that there was something about his heart that was very important in God's eyes. While he was honest to admit that he was wrong in many of the things he had done in the past, he insisted that he had done them from a position of ignorance and in sincerity.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 1:12-14)

Is Paul trying to diminish the severity of his past mistakes? Is he trying to justify himself in some way? Does unbelief excuse us from guilt? Absolutely not! But notice the main emphasis in these verses. The main point he is focusing on here is not his relative innocence or guilt but is the attitude of Jesus toward him while he was fighting ferociously against His followers. The absolutely stunning thing about God is that He has so much faith in us even when no one else sees any reason to do so. He considered me faithful, putting me into service... This was the surprise ambush of Jesus that caught Paul's heart in a conspiracy of kindness. And Paul is very clear in Romans 2 that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.

Paul for the rest of his life can do little more than gush about the faith that Jesus has in sinners, the grace of our Lord that is more than abundant and the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. As Christians we far too often tend to gravitate into thinking that faith and grace and love are things that we have to come up with in order to satisfy God's requirements so we can be saved. But it is impossible for us to have any of these things ourselves without having them just reflected from our lives. And the only way that a mirror can reflect anything is if the mirror is turned to face that thing or person. When the mirror of our heart is turned to focus its gaze on the amazing truths that define the very nature and character of God, those realities can then become seen more and more clearly in the lives of all who choose to turn to Him.

Faith can only exist as a response to faith. Love can only be ignited in response to being loved. And grace is learned and empowered by experiencing grace. It is only as I come to Jesus and encounter His heart with my heart that I will be able to reflect those characteristics necessary to enjoy the atmosphere of heaven. And in addition, the context of this passage implies that this is the only way that the law of God will be fulfilled in my own life.

The Law of God is nothing more than a very simplified description of what God is like. The only way that I can come into harmony or synchronization with the character of God, His law, is to practice reflecting Him. That process is known by the saying, By beholding we become changed. Paul was transformed from a law-enforcing zealot to a Jesus freak who couldn't ever keep his mouth shut about the grace that had shown so much faith in him while he was still an open enemy of Jesus. For the rest of his life Paul was happily willing to endure any pain, threats or abuse in order to demonstrate the grace to others that had so radically altered his perception of God.

I want that kind of radical encounter with Jesus. I want a much clearer inner picture of this stunning grace, this bizarre faith that comes from Jesus, this love that I find so hard to practice myself. I crave a clearer glimpse of the face of God so that my own heart will become supercharged with a reflection of the real truth about Him which is His glory.