True Holiness

I found myself reviewing this chapter again for context. As I look back over Romans 15 to remind myself of the many things that I have learned over the past few months I can see even better more of the links that connect the various concepts in different parts of the text. But more importantly I open my heart to hearing what needs to happen inside of me that God wants to show me from this passage.

Here are a few things that I am seeing.

Those around us who are without strength need our perseverance and encouragement. I need to remember that sometimes I am going to be the one without strength.

I need to become a servant on behalf of the truth of God to demonstrate and reflect His servant attitude. This will in turn attract others to Him instead of me attempting to drive them to Him with shame, fear or intimidation. This seems to be God's method of relating toward religious people as I see it in this passage. On the other hand, His method for unbelievers is to become a servant in order to demonstrate His great mercy. That is somewhat different than serving religious people to confirm the truth about God, although many times religious people are not really believers and also need to see and experience mercy to attract them to God. The labels on people are not always indicative of what is in the heart.

I need to experience mercy myself – deep in my heart in order to be able to reflect it to others. To be an effective and attractive servant I need to experience everything that I am passing on to them. I need to believe in it from personal experience, not just mental assent and profession. I must be mentored to be accepting of mercy and kindness and love for myself instead of resisting it. Then I will be able to express it to others more naturally and authentically.

This kind of authentic unselfishness, this kind of servant spirit is the true definition of holiness. As I have been thinking about this lately, I am sensing that holiness in my life is simply a reflection of God's holiness which simply means that He is totally dedicated to serving all of His creation ahead of His own comfort or feelings. As I become more acquainted with the selfless spirit and disposition of God I will be empowered to reflect it more accurately.

Very recently I found myself trying to share the truth about God with a small group of religious people having their typical religious discussion. When it was all done I was left feeling very dissatisfied with the results of my comments. My intention was certainly noble I believe, but the effect of my words – probably more my tone of voice and body language – I felt was potentially chilling in my opinion upon reflection. I hate this about myself and desperately want God to bring total healing to whatever it is that still causes me to misrepresent Him so badly in this way.

I know that there are still roots producing bitterness in my heart that are yet undiscovered and need replacing with roots of love and compassion, kindness and gentleness. But I cannot heal myself – only God can heal those kinds of deep scars. I don't know how to even get from here to there except to keep asking Him to expose and judge me with His healing kind of pre-judgment that exposes the lies of the heart and replaces them with empowering truth.

I don't want to keep scaring people away from truth that is such a blessing to my own heart. I know this is one of Satan's schemes to keep my witness ineffective and continue to damage God's reputation. But I don't want to be a part any longer of Satan's schemes to dishonor God. I want to be a clean reflection of God's beauty both in word and in spirit, especially in spirit. God, be merciful to me a sinner!

I cast myself on the mercy and faithfulness of God to heal me – for His name's sake. Because it is all really about His reputation, not mine. I want Him to make me a truthful and faithful witness like Jesus.

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