Unpacking More From Submission

Submission is one of the effective antidotes provided for eliminating pride from our hearts. Pride is one of the most pernicious, dangerous ingredients of sin that lives like a stubborn cancer in our system and threatens to rob us of life and joy and integration into the family of God. I am seeing that submission is a choice that we can make to counteract the affects of pride and weaken its control over our minds and hearts.

Submission is also an effective means of reversing the deceptions brought into our thinking by what I sometimes call the false trinity. This is composed of (1) Economics – the system based on artificially placing varying degrees of value on things and people, (2) Law – the counterfeit system of arbitrary rules, punishments and the use of force and fear to bring about unity and conformity among people, and (3) Kingship or Hierarchy – the whole arrangement of measuring ourselves in respect to others using artificial methods of determining relative value such as education, wealth, beauty etc.

The choice of submission by a true follower of Jesus will, in effect, level the social standing (in their own mind and heart) of everyone they meet by correctly positioning themselves in a place of service to everyone else. This is the arrangement created by God so that everything in the universe can function smoothly and with fulfillment. Only those caught up in the tragic experiment of sin are out of harmony with this fundamental principle of service above self. To become realigned with the kingdom of heaven – the principles of reality that are unbreakable if one wants to thrive and live in the presence of real Life – we must make decisions that are counter to our natural desires because they are rooted in our sinful, naturally selfish flesh. We learn from the example of Jesus who humbled Himself to the lowest point possible as He chose to relate to everyone else in the role of the ultimate servant, not to earn brownie points with God but because He was revealing the very heart of God and the way reality is designed to function.

I spent some time reviewing some of the key verses about submission and noticed how multi-dimensional it is. Too often we tend to dwell on just the verses that we can use to reinforce our favorite angle, but this is nothing more than pride asserting itself and looking for ways to avoid submission in our own life. But submission is not something we have to force ourselves to do under certain situations; it is a disposition, a whole way of thinking that is to color every relationship that we encounter.

Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:21-24)

I am starting to see that I must view this issue of submission from a completely different perspective and with radically different emotions. That requires a new birth experience, not just an attitude tune-up. Submission is really the outside symptom of a heart transformed by the servant-spirit that emanated from the atmosphere surrounding Jesus. Submission has to do with respecting others with due honor, not surrendering my will or control of my heart to them. True respect involves seeing them through the eyes of heaven as an individual created in the image of God with intrinsic enormous value, not according to the external trappings of position, beauty, wealth or power they may have achieved.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. (Ephesians 5:25-30)

The reason God needs to give different commands to us as men and women in these passages is because in general the very thing we are instructed to do is what we are most unlikely to do naturally. Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs have done an excellent job of unpacking this very subject in their seminars on Love and Respect which have been a great blessing to us and to thousands of others around the world. Emerson explains that women are commanded to respect their husbands (which I am starting to see is in essence synonymous with submission according to the above texts) because it is usually very difficult for a woman to respect a man who does not appear worthy of her respect. Likewise men are commanded to selflessly love their wives because love is not natural to a man who feels disrespected by a woman.

Emerson calls this the “crazy cycle”. Men find it very hard to love their wives unconditionally when they don't feel respected and women find it very hard to respect their husbands when they don't feel loved unconditionally. The triggers amplify the feelings and behaviors and the cycle goes on for months and years intensifying like perpetual motion.

The Eggerichs explain that it is important to recognize what is really going on here in the light of the truth revealed in the Bible and to get off the crazy cycle by getting into the “energizing cycle” as they call it. This is just the opposite from the crazy cycle and it only takes the determined choice of one individual to jump-start this new healing cycle. If the woman feels like she is loved – whether or not she seems lovable – it is much easier for her to respect the man. Likewise a man finds it much easier to love a woman who is treating him respectfully and with honor than when she is treating him with disdain, scorn or rejection. However, the key point is that we avoid following our natural reactions and feelings based on what someone else does to us, but instead choose to be obedient to the instructions God has given to us individually. Choosing to obey the principles in place creates the conditions for experiencing the natural positive consequences of cooperation and harmony. Isn't it amazing how some things make sense and then actually work.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. (1 Peter 3:1)

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

I am seeing more clearly that the ingredient of respect lies at the heart of this issue of submission. Respect is literally an act of evangelism according to these texts. It is a way of winning hearts in the face of abusive treatment whether it is in a marriage or in any other relationship. As I think about the way Jesus demonstrated submission in His life while here on earth I see that it did not involve taking on the spirit or attitudes or even beliefs of those mistreating Him, but was revealed by still relating to them with the utmost respect and love irregardless of what they “deserved”. When seen in this light the commands to respect governing authorities start to take on new meaning for me.

Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. (Romans 13:1-2)

This condemnation is not so much something imposed on us artificially, although that may happen in the counterfeit systems of earth, but the condemnation referred to here primarily, I believe, is the natural consequences of violating the principles of reality, the laws that God has incorporated into the very fabric of the existence of the universe.

Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear (respect and awe) God, honor the king. Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. (1 Peter 2:13-24)

I am learning so much from looking at the above passage that is helping me resolve my life-long struggle with this trigger with authorities. I am realizing that much of my problem has been misconceptions about what is meant by submission as well as the natural internal affects on my heart in its reactions to abuse of authority. Yes I need healing and a new spirit to replace my spirit of rebellion. But equally important I also need new data in my mental “dictionary of terms” about what real submission means and does not mean. With improved information available many things of the heart accessing my mental database as a reference make far more sense and fit together much more effectively.

Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake. (Romans 13:5)

This alerts me to the fact that my motivation for obedience in this important area of my heart should not remain that of fear but must move far past that to being motivated by a desire to thrive and grow and mature in the presence of God. Conscience, as I discovered recently, means co-perception. And the other perception that is involved besides mine it the revelations provided by the Spirit of God – being able to perceive things through the eyes of heaven, not just the way I naturally perceive them myself. So to be able to successfully submit myself to authorities I must also co-perceive them with God which helps me take on a completely new way of thinking about things.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9)

But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. (1 Peter 3:14-16)

Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. (1 Peter 4:1-2)

Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8)

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