Learning to Receive

A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven. (John 3:27)

This looks to me like maybe it is one of those principles that govern reality that I come across every once in awhile. At first glance it looks rather simple and plain until one begins to compare various other verses and concepts with it. Then it begins to take on a much deeper significance.

One thing that comes to my attention is something I learned a few years ago. It was pointed out that the brain is designed in such a way that as it is maturing it needs to learn certain principles or concepts before it is ready to properly learn others. If someone is forced to learn certain lessons without first absorbing the prerequisite principles and lessons and internalizing them, the more advanced concepts may appear to be incorporated into the life but there will be important missing foundational pieces that cause internal weaknesses even though the externals may appear to be correct.

This verse reminds me of just such a situation. It is the duty of an infant to first learn to receive everything with joy. This is far more important than most people realize, particularly in the Christian community because of our strong emphasis on unselfishness and giving to others. This sets us up to try to rush young children into lessons of giving and sharing sometimes too quickly because we don't understand the importance of first making sure they have learned the foundational principle of receiving gladly and experiencing joy with those around them.

When a person is pushed too early to give selflessly before they learn to receive with joy it forces them to start learning hypocrisy. Christian children are very often trained emphatically to give and share but more from a sense of duty instead of from a basis of joy and satisfaction. When this is done what is produced are adults who may be apparently generous, who faithfully support the church and missions and who are eager to pressure others to do the same. But too often these people who appear generous on the outside are motivated more from a sense of trying to avoid guilt or condemnation or shame than they are from a sense of fullness and joy and resting in the blessings and presence of a loving Father.

A person who has failed to learn to first receive with joy will find it difficult at best to give with joy and with cheerfulness. They may try to appear cheerful while giving but even this is from a sense of duty and obligation more than from a genuine gladness that springs spontaneously from the heart. I am one of those people and it was not until I learned this truth a few years ago that I could begin to understand what my real problem was. When this became more clear to me I began to see very clearly my inability to receive with joy and experience peace whenever someone wanted to bless me or affirm me or compliment me.

The symptoms of this dysfunction are seen often in my struggle to know how to relate to compliments from others. I have struggled with this in various ways for all of my life. I evidently had a catastrophic failure very early on learning to receive with joy and I certainly can remember the many times I was pressured to pretend appreciation for gifts received. This forced me to demonstrate appreciation on strictly a superficial level without any regard for being truthful about what my heart was feeling. The same thing went for dealing with offenses. I was repeatedly forced to say “I'm sorry” without any genuine heart condition to support that claim. Appearances were far more important in my culture than any attention paid to the real condition of the heart. Thus I learned to conform on the outside while trying very hard to suppress any conflicting feelings and frustrations that continued to increase on the inside.

Because I still have a gap in that area of my character foundation I continue to find it difficult to both receive and to give without resistance. Maybe that is why I find this text so compelling to me. Instead of focusing on giving which is the more advanced lesson of maturity, John here spells out very clearly that everything we receive comes from God. It is so important to have this view of reality clear in our minds. Everything proceeds from God – all life, all matter, everything that exists is created and sustained by the power of His word.

Immediately we begin to wonder about all the bad things that come to us and how that fits into this principle. The problem is not that God sends bad things our way but that the good things sent by Him in our direction get twisted, perverted distorted and hijacked by sin and sinners before they reach us. Sin has wreaked havoc in God's universe and salvation is the grand plan to repair and restore us from all of this damage. This includes the repairs needed to rectify the dysfunction of trying to give without first learning to receive with joy.

As I think about this more thoroughly I realize that one reason I have a hard time receiving with joy is that it was early on improperly linked to selfishness in my thinking. It became connected inside my mind that to receive anything nice, especially compliments was considered self-indulgence and was at least a little sinful. Over time this resulted in a feeling of guilt and condemnation each time I was the recipient of a compliment and I felt compelled to discount that compliment or affirmation to avoid the internal discomfort and guilt that would surely result if I accepted it freely.

This of course had the effect of dampening anyone's desire to offer me good things since I was so unappreciative. The result was that I lived largely in isolation feeling discouraged in my attempts to offer my talents and gifts to others since I could not receive anything positive in return. This pattern of thinking now seems to me to be clearly designed in the mind of the prince of hell himself. All of Satan's schemes are designed to diminish life and happiness and joy and to slowly destroy God's image in our hearts.

I believe that as I learn the remedial lessons of how to receive with grace and with joy that I will then be more free to move on to being much more able to give with cheerfulness and joy as well. Instead of discounting what others do for me or diminishing their compliments I will be able to engage and encourage them in acknowledging the privileges God has given me to share with them.

As I learn to live life receiving everything as from heaven and trusting my heavenly Father to work all things together for good even when they initially may be very bad, I believe that I will better be able to give without grudging. I feel I need to learn these lessons soon so that I can get unstuck in this area of my dwarfed maturity. It will likely have dramatic effects on all my relationships as well as my outlook on life. But I have to rest in God's plans for my rehabilitation and cooperate with His methods.

A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven. And that even includes my own healing.

Living as a Receiver

John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven." (John 3:27)

John's disciples had just come to him and informed him that Jesus was attracting everyone to him which meant that John's popularity was on a fast decline. This situation caused them to start to feel a little jealous for their leader. What did they want John to do? What did they expect could happen by telling John about this apparent problem?

It is human nature to want people to like you, to seek to be popular and well-liked. It makes us feel good, feel valuable, even feel fulfilled. But herein lies the problem. Anytime I use the affirmations of others as a source of my value or importance I am starting to literally follow after false gods. For anything or anyone other than the only Source of life and value from which I try to receive life for myself is a false source. This is extremely subtle and much of the time is never even noticed. But worshiping false gods is far more than just bowing down to graven images or delving into demonic activities. It is any way in which we attempt to receive life for our soul outside of a vital connection with the one and only Life-giver.

John pointed out to his disciples that he understood the kind of relationship that needed to exist for one to be right with God. It was not John's responsibility to get popularity for himself; it was his only to receive whatever his heavenly Father provided for him whether that was physical needs or emotional support. John understood that he was to live as a receiver in relationship to God, not a grasper. It was not his job to go looking for popularity or affirmations or anything else. It was his to simply receive and obey whatever God had asked him to do. In doing this he would find genuine fulfillment and experience real peace which is the only way to find real satisfaction at the deepest level of the soul.

His disciples tended to believe that popularity was an important part of being a good leader. They had joined themselves to John partly because he was so popular, at least among the people who were not so false-hearted and self-righteous that they could not easily discern God's ways. John had been a fast-rising star among the common people but now that he seemed to be in an equally fast decline his disciples assumed that something must be going wrong. After all, popularity is often the index that we assume must be watched to indicate whether we are doing the right thing or not.

But John pointed out to his disciples that he had not come seeking popularity, fame or even control over others. The center of his life and motivation revolved around a close connection and a humble submission to the will of the One who had sent him in the first place. John demonstrated in his life the way all of us should live in relation to God – the relationship of a receiver, one who depended totally on the ways and will of God each moment. He waited on God to lead him instead of going about trying to figure out ways to accomplish things for God and then asking God to bless his plans.

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. (James 3:14 NIV)

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (James 3:16 NKJV)

John's disciples were in danger of becoming infected with the wrong kind of wisdom as described in James 3:13-16. This is the most common wisdom seen all around us today but it is not the kind of wisdom that comes from heaven. John understood and lived with the right kind of wisdom as described in the following two verses in James. John was not at all envious of Jesus and His growing popularity at the expense of his own. The wisdom that he lived in was first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17 NKJV)

I am right now under heavy conviction of my desperate need for this right kind of wisdom. It is becoming more and more clear to me that some of the wisdom that I have immersed myself in is tainted with the wrong spirit no matter how factually correct it has been. I am beginning to see rather painfully how much self-seeking permeates my deep motivations. God has been revealing to me how deep my bitterness really is and how pervasive is my secret envy of the power that evil-doers have to abuse me or take advantage of me.

I am also starting to see more clearly how much I try to get value from all sorts of things – from people's opinions of me, from my “good” performance and achievements, from skills or accumulated resources or even supposed accomplishments in God's name. I thought that I was not nearly so deceived in these areas but the more God has exposed the deeper recesses of my heart lately the more painful and ugly the revelations are that emerge from the darkness.

I have to admit that my perception of reality is more reflective of John's disciples rather than that of John the Baptist. I am tempted to become easily upset when my ideas are not adopted or my plans for God are snubbed. Frequently I find God reminding me that the current of my thoughts at a given moment are based on self-seeking instead of submission to His will and His ways. This has been a very painful revelation for me after years of believing that I was much farther along than this. I know that this is God's discipline and that it is a sign of His love and care for me, but it is still both humiliating and painful.

I am in need of much prayer and intercession by others who are truly part of the body of Christ. I am realizing more than ever before my need for community, accountability and nurturing by others, particularly those more mature than I am. I often find it very hard to receive but I need to experience healing for this problem. I have long been very independent, a loner fiercely trying to experience God myself but with little connection to the rest of His body. I know that God is determined to remedy this situation and I want to cooperate with His plans for my life.

I want to have much more of the spirit that was seen in John the Baptist. I am a long ways from that right now but where sin abounds grace much more abounds. I am choosing to submit to God's discipline even though it is very painful right now. I have been asking Him for a long time to come in and transform my character so in a way I am not surprised. But that does little to allay the emotional pain of that discipline right now.

I cling to the Word of God and cling to a belief in the goodness of God and His ultimate plans for me. I know that later when I look back I will deeply appreciate what is happening right now, but during this time that is difficult to remember very easily. For a number of days now I have felt a conscious heaviness inside that demands relief but never goes away. I believe that it is at least partly linked to some resistance that I am still holding onto inside along with a level of unbelief and I plead with God to get me through this and cause me to let go of whatever it is I am hanging onto in place of Him.

What I crave right now is the peace of God to completely fill my heart and mind and fill me with assurance and rest. I sense that God has allowed this uneasiness to continue to prompt me to keep seeking Him until I can live in full surrender to His will for me. Pray for me and do whatever else God prompts you to do. I am learning to trust His heart at levels never before experienced in my life.