Living as a Receiver

John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven." (John 3:27)

John's disciples had just come to him and informed him that Jesus was attracting everyone to him which meant that John's popularity was on a fast decline. This situation caused them to start to feel a little jealous for their leader. What did they want John to do? What did they expect could happen by telling John about this apparent problem?

It is human nature to want people to like you, to seek to be popular and well-liked. It makes us feel good, feel valuable, even feel fulfilled. But herein lies the problem. Anytime I use the affirmations of others as a source of my value or importance I am starting to literally follow after false gods. For anything or anyone other than the only Source of life and value from which I try to receive life for myself is a false source. This is extremely subtle and much of the time is never even noticed. But worshiping false gods is far more than just bowing down to graven images or delving into demonic activities. It is any way in which we attempt to receive life for our soul outside of a vital connection with the one and only Life-giver.

John pointed out to his disciples that he understood the kind of relationship that needed to exist for one to be right with God. It was not John's responsibility to get popularity for himself; it was his only to receive whatever his heavenly Father provided for him whether that was physical needs or emotional support. John understood that he was to live as a receiver in relationship to God, not a grasper. It was not his job to go looking for popularity or affirmations or anything else. It was his to simply receive and obey whatever God had asked him to do. In doing this he would find genuine fulfillment and experience real peace which is the only way to find real satisfaction at the deepest level of the soul.

His disciples tended to believe that popularity was an important part of being a good leader. They had joined themselves to John partly because he was so popular, at least among the people who were not so false-hearted and self-righteous that they could not easily discern God's ways. John had been a fast-rising star among the common people but now that he seemed to be in an equally fast decline his disciples assumed that something must be going wrong. After all, popularity is often the index that we assume must be watched to indicate whether we are doing the right thing or not.

But John pointed out to his disciples that he had not come seeking popularity, fame or even control over others. The center of his life and motivation revolved around a close connection and a humble submission to the will of the One who had sent him in the first place. John demonstrated in his life the way all of us should live in relation to God – the relationship of a receiver, one who depended totally on the ways and will of God each moment. He waited on God to lead him instead of going about trying to figure out ways to accomplish things for God and then asking God to bless his plans.

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. (James 3:14 NIV)

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (James 3:16 NKJV)

John's disciples were in danger of becoming infected with the wrong kind of wisdom as described in James 3:13-16. This is the most common wisdom seen all around us today but it is not the kind of wisdom that comes from heaven. John understood and lived with the right kind of wisdom as described in the following two verses in James. John was not at all envious of Jesus and His growing popularity at the expense of his own. The wisdom that he lived in was first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17 NKJV)

I am right now under heavy conviction of my desperate need for this right kind of wisdom. It is becoming more and more clear to me that some of the wisdom that I have immersed myself in is tainted with the wrong spirit no matter how factually correct it has been. I am beginning to see rather painfully how much self-seeking permeates my deep motivations. God has been revealing to me how deep my bitterness really is and how pervasive is my secret envy of the power that evil-doers have to abuse me or take advantage of me.

I am also starting to see more clearly how much I try to get value from all sorts of things – from people's opinions of me, from my “good” performance and achievements, from skills or accumulated resources or even supposed accomplishments in God's name. I thought that I was not nearly so deceived in these areas but the more God has exposed the deeper recesses of my heart lately the more painful and ugly the revelations are that emerge from the darkness.

I have to admit that my perception of reality is more reflective of John's disciples rather than that of John the Baptist. I am tempted to become easily upset when my ideas are not adopted or my plans for God are snubbed. Frequently I find God reminding me that the current of my thoughts at a given moment are based on self-seeking instead of submission to His will and His ways. This has been a very painful revelation for me after years of believing that I was much farther along than this. I know that this is God's discipline and that it is a sign of His love and care for me, but it is still both humiliating and painful.

I am in need of much prayer and intercession by others who are truly part of the body of Christ. I am realizing more than ever before my need for community, accountability and nurturing by others, particularly those more mature than I am. I often find it very hard to receive but I need to experience healing for this problem. I have long been very independent, a loner fiercely trying to experience God myself but with little connection to the rest of His body. I know that God is determined to remedy this situation and I want to cooperate with His plans for my life.

I want to have much more of the spirit that was seen in John the Baptist. I am a long ways from that right now but where sin abounds grace much more abounds. I am choosing to submit to God's discipline even though it is very painful right now. I have been asking Him for a long time to come in and transform my character so in a way I am not surprised. But that does little to allay the emotional pain of that discipline right now.

I cling to the Word of God and cling to a belief in the goodness of God and His ultimate plans for me. I know that later when I look back I will deeply appreciate what is happening right now, but during this time that is difficult to remember very easily. For a number of days now I have felt a conscious heaviness inside that demands relief but never goes away. I believe that it is at least partly linked to some resistance that I am still holding onto inside along with a level of unbelief and I plead with God to get me through this and cause me to let go of whatever it is I am hanging onto in place of Him.

What I crave right now is the peace of God to completely fill my heart and mind and fill me with assurance and rest. I sense that God has allowed this uneasiness to continue to prompt me to keep seeking Him until I can live in full surrender to His will for me. Pray for me and do whatever else God prompts you to do. I am learning to trust His heart at levels never before experienced in my life.