Call Your Husband

He said to her, "Go, call your husband and come here." (John 4:16)

I never noticed this before. I had seen several things in this verse like Jesus' desire for this woman to enter into community as she received living water or His intention to bring conviction into sharp focus by letting her know that He knew all about her secrets. But something else just came to my attention as I read this again.

Jesus set an example for all His followers who might find themselves in a similar situation in the future. He was a single man who happened to have an encounter with a woman alone with no one else around. Does this raise any issues in anyone's mind today? It is not enough to just dismiss this because we are talking about Jesus and He was different than any other man. That may be true, but it did not exempt Him from living the kind of life that was to be an example for every other person to follow. Jesus did not take exceptions to the guidelines that God wants all of us to live under and follow. This arrangement had the potential to look bad, the potential for a vulnerable woman to be exploited, so Jesus did what He would want any other man to do; He immediately asked the woman to invite her husband to join her before they went any further in their conversation.

It does not matter what the outcome of this request was so much as the fact that He made it at this point in their encounter. It is true that she did not do what He requested, but it is also true that He did not spend a great deal more time with her alone before she did go and bring back a whole lot more people to get involved with her in this exciting relationship with Jesus. But Jesus set the perfect example of what all of His disciples should do when they are sharing the gospel with a single person from the opposite gender.

But I also notice that Jesus did not go to the other extreme either as many people might insist should be done. He did not hold back from entering into a conversation with this woman. He did not even suddenly disconnect from the conversation when it became obvious what her marital status was and that she really was quite vulnerable. Instead, He carefully drew out her heart toward God and shared with her that the real desire of her heart that she had been trying to satisfy in relationships with other men could only be met by drinking from the unfailing resource of God's passionate love for her personally.

Jesus neither cut off His conversation with her or avoided even the moral issues of her life. And while He allowed her to change the subject when things felt too uncomfortable for her without pressuring her to feel too exposed, He directed His focus toward helping her realize what was really going on inside herself that she had never been able to understand or appreciate all of her life. Jesus brought into her mind the light of truth both about herself but more importantly about how God viewed her so that she could readily respond to the love and grace and presence that God was waiting and eager to share with her. Jesus conveyed to her in His own words and demeanor a taste of what God felt about her.

Of course she could have gone home and brought back the man she was living with and just not mentioned the fact that he was not her husband. And it would have been very interesting and instructive to us to know how Jesus would have handled that as well. But one thing is very certain, Jesus would have been just as gracious, kind and caring for this other man as He was for this woman. He would not have used a guilt trip or condemnation to expose them and shame them as too many Christians today seem compelled to do. He would have ministered to the hearts of both of them and let the Holy Spirit do all the convicting in His own time and way.

This is the example of how Jesus wants me to treat people. In fact, as I allow Jesus to dwell inside of me He Himself will give me the wisdom to act and proceed with the mind of Christ and will prompt me to know just what to do and say to have the most drawing effect to attract hearts into knowing God better. Because the bottom line always is that everyone of us need to have our picture of God seriously upgraded before we are ever going to want to come to Him for salvation and experience His transforming love in our souls.