Male Disadvantage?

Stooping and looking in, [John] saw the linen wrappings lying there; but he did not go in. And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself.

But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying. (John 20:5-7, 11-12)

Is it obvious yet? Two men rush to the tomb looking for evidence to figure out how to solve a compelling mystery of a missing body, but all the evidence they can uncover are some discarded grave-clothes and an empty tomb. The woman who loved Him the most looks into the exact same place a few minutes later and sees angels. What's up with this?

Do I conclude that being a male gives me a hopeless disadvantage in life? That I will never be able to see things like a woman can see? Well, I can't answer that since I cannot try out the other side for myself, but my first reaction is to feel rather defensive – and logical, which is exactly the symptoms of these two disciples. They were looking for physical evidence to determine what to think, figure out the problem and if possible offer a solution. Mary didn't seem intent on looking for physical evidence so much as she was absorbed with doing something – anything – about the enormous pain wringing her soul; she was longing for much more than just cold, hard facts.

I have heard it said that you generally find what you are looking for. Is that what is going on here? Is this much more about the priorities of the heart rather than about which gender happens to be your lot? I would like to think so, though again I really can't prove that theory.

For many years I have puzzled over my own identity when it comes to these sorts of things. The descriptions people use as stereotypes for being male or female don't always seem to work well, for when I compare myself to them it appears in some respects that I can relate better in some areas with what is assumed the way a woman would think, while in other respects the opposite is true. I'm sure we can all think of exceptions in people we know, so much so that the stereotypes sometimes come under serious question. So is what I am reading here simply a reflection of a stereotype of the difference between how men and women think, or does it have more to do with how those stereotypes push people into certain roles because of social pressure?

Stereotypes can do that you know. Depending on where we happen to be born and what culture we grow up in largely shapes our definitions of what it really means to be a human of one gender or the other. But I wonder if many if not most of those have more to do with tradition and culture than they have to do with actual wiring or design. I am not suggesting there are no fundamental natural differences between men and women – I believe there are, and by God's design from creation. Genesis indicates God never intended for either gender to fully reflect His image but for the two to work in cooperation with each other, complimenting each other to reflect the nature and beauty of their Creator.

Yet even in each gender there are vastly different variations of personality and abilities. Certainly some of this is due to the effects of thousands of years of sin influencing our thinking and expectations. But even that could also be natural variations intended by God as expressions of His own complexity and mysterious nature. I don't think God ever expected us to be clones of our gender, always acting and thinking in very predictable ways. And while I do believe He created each gender with certain fundamental biases that are different from the other, that does not mean that exceptions to that are necessarily wrong, just differences to be respected and appreciated.

For many years I found Mary's stories and personality to be very intriguing to me. What attracts me the most is her willingness to be vulnerable and transparent, almost to the point of not being able to help herself. Some might consider that a weakness, something needing to be overcome. But my heart tells me that she was a vivid example displaying evidence of remnants of the way humanity was originally designed to live, designed to bond and connect at the heart level with each other without all the suspicion and resistance that seems so normal today.

What I perceive is a woman who had lived from her heart probably all of her life. But doing so in a male-dominated world where others viewed this is a weakness to exploit had brought on enormous amounts of pain, suffering, shame, humiliation and exploitation by those who should have been there to protect and celebrate her special reflection of God. I sense in Mary unusual insights into the kind of God that Jesus came to reveal, a God who makes Himself vulnerable to exploitation for the very purpose of thus exposing the evil of such behavior and thinking. In essence, I think Mary may have been one of the few humans who lived in Jesus' time that resonated strongly with His heart because she understood His language better than possibly anyone else.

Given that, it would be no wonder that she felt so distraught when Jesus was crucified, especially the way it was carried out. What she saw happening during His trial and crucifixion was a reminder of exploitation she had experienced herself all too often in life. She saw men exploiting what they viewed as weakness in Jesus, while inside her own heart she intuitively knew that what others saw as weakness was really the essence of what it requires to live truly alive. Very few people seem to grasp this reality, and the way the disciples acted indicates to me that it took far longer for them to warm up to this truth than it did for many of the women in His life.

Another woman comes to mind who might have had very similar characteristics and personality to Mary as that I think of it. The very first person with whom Jesus shared plainly the truth about His identity as the Messiah was a woman from Samaria with a similar colorful history as Mary had. This woman too, caught on so quickly to the reality of what Jesus longed to share with everyone that within minutes she became a far more effective evangelist than the disciples ever became for some time afterwards. Like Mary, this woman had been trying to live from her heart but had suffered enormously for it through the exploitation of men for much of her life. That is not to suggest that either of these women had no part in causing their sufferings. It is true that they may have been responsible for many of the choices that they made, but in large part they were far more victimized by the entrenched power and authority structures in place around them than personally accountable for most of the exploitation they had endured. I believe that is why Jesus had far greater success in much less time with each of these women than He ever had with the male class of His day.

Yet even given this, Jesus never treated either gender with less respect or love. Jesus came to save all of humanity, but related to different kinds of people with different approaches. Jesus was a master of how to relate to each one. What made Him that way? It was not because of His inherent divinity as many might suppose, for that would have given Him an unfair advantage over everyone else and it would then be impossible for us to follow His example if that were the case. Rather Jesus relied completely on His daily, intimate connection with His Father and never failed to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit that always guided and inspired Him through every moment and in every encounter. That is certainly within reach of any one of us if we would only be willing to live in total dependence on God just as Jesus did. Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. (John 14:12)

As I ponder this incredible woman who seemed to so resonate with the heart of Jesus possibly more than any other person on earth, I long to move closer to living from my own heart like what I see in her example. Of course that would also mean opening myself up to potential exploitation by others who hold twisted views of reality just as she experienced. But then, isn't that what Jesus said would happen to all of His followers? We cannot be true disciples of Jesus and yet open ourselves up to persecution, for that very way of life both invites exploitation as well as induces fierce resistance from those who feel exposed by our very example of transparent living.

I believe Mary was drawn to Jesus because she saw clearly in Him the first male who never had the slightest desire to exploit her vulnerabilities while at the same time seeming to understand and even value the uniqueness that made her so vulnerable. Everyone else viewed her as weak, even condemned her for the very things they desired to exploit in her. But Jesus saw these same things as her strengths and did everything possible to redeem her from the effects that sin had caused in her life.

Jesus always sees things radically different than how religious people view them, and He values many of the very things that others view as weaknesses. That is one thing that draws so many to Jesus, for they sense that in Him their heart is encouraged to begin functioning again as it was originally designed to function; with trust, love and taking risks, reaching out to connect with other hearts in bonds of trust and intimacy. This is what I see marking the life of Mary and is what I believe is going to mark the life of every true follower of Jesus sooner or later as they are drawn closer and closer to live from the heart instead of just their head.

Peter and John had not yet arrived at that point where they could live more from their heart than from their head. But that is not to say that they were not on their way that day they arrived at the tomb. Peter was still overwhelmed with shame from denying Jesus three times and feeling worthless. Because of that he may have been even contemplating joining Judas in suicide. John was not but may well have been trying to help Peter out of his depression. But even he too was struggling to make sense out of the unexpected events swirling around them that weekend. Being typical males, when confronted with the news that Jesus had gone missing from the tomb, their first reaction was to launch an investigation. But apparently what they were cuing in on were not so much matters of the heart as much as physical facts from which to compile potential scenarios to figure out what was going on.

Mary on the other hand found these facts more of a nuisance or an interference preventing her from simply finding the healing for her heart that was highest in her priorities. Because of this she found it hard even with these obvious evidences to change her perceptions of reality, so much so that even with an appearance of angels right in front of her she still couldn't break free of her hopelessness. You might say that it took far more evidence to convince Mary of the reality of Jesus' resurrection than it did for John; Jesus had to not only talk with her but actually say her name in an old familiar way they had shared many times before to shake her out of her intense grief and go into a joy that was even more intense than had been her sadness.

John writes that when he saw the grave-clothes in the tomb he believed, even before he understood the Scriptures that had foretold this very event. Peter was still so overwhelmed in his own shame that it took a bit longer to believe. But apparently Mary required even more compelling evidence, not unlike Thomas, before she could be rescued from her depression. But with each person Jesus did whatever was needed to draw them out to trust His heart for them individually.

As I write these words my own eyes fill with tears as this stunning truth sinks into my own heart, that Jesus knows just as well what it will take to draw me out of my confusion and doubt into full trust in His heart as well. As He demonstrated so effectively in the lives of each of these followers who were so precious to Him, He will also relentlessly keep working with me until He brings me too into the freedom and joy of living totally abandoned to His love for me. That is what my heart craves more than anything else. And I suspect that is what His heart craves as well.

I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 NRSV)

"Here is my servant, whom I have chosen, my beloved, with whom my soul is well pleased. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles. He will not wrangle or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets. He will not break a bruised reed or quench a smoldering wick until he brings justice to victory. And in his name the Gentiles will hope." (Matthew 12:18-21 NRSV)

What's Going On Inside?

Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone already taken away from the tomb. So she ran and came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and said to them, "They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him." (John 20:1-2)

A number of questions rise up in my mind and heart as I read these verses.

Why did John make sure he identified exactly who the woman was here?

Why did she go directly to Peter and John specifically?

What was the circumstantial evidence that caused her to make the assumptions she did?

Why did she feel compelled to talk to Peter and John? What did she think they could do about it?

Whom did she have in mind in her last statement here with the pronouns they and we?

Mary goes early to the tomb, very early, while it is still dark. What prompted her to do this?

Certainly she must have been aware that there was a squad of burley soldiers camped around the tomb to prevent anyone from even getting close to it. So why did she go there anyway?

Sensing a little of Mary's insatiable passion for Jesus as well as the intensity of her grief over losing her best Friend in such a traumatic way, I doubt that she was operating very much on logic or reason at this point. And besides that, being a man myself it is nearly impossible for me to appreciate much of the way a woman, a very unusual woman at that, might feel and think under such circumstances. Yet I don't think it is wrong for me to try to get as far as possible into her mind and heart, for God has created in all of us at least some capacity for empathy with others, even those strikingly different than ourselves, if we will only open our hearts and minds to things outside our own perspective and let His Spirit empower us to share what others are feeling and seeing.

I suspect that Mary, along with many others that weekend, had likely not gotten much sleep at all. Most of the disciples, the men mostly, were so filled with a growing fear for their own safety that they likely had a very hard time sleeping. On the other hand, the women, and Mary especially, may have had very different emotions controlling their thinking and behavior. In my mind, Mary in particular seemed to have an inside track to the heart of Jesus. Her view of and relationship with Him seemed to go far beyond the intellectual attachment that most of the disciples seemed to maintain and even went far beyond what possibly anyone else had ever experienced.

Mary had a long history with Jesus, and a rather colorful one at that. Evidence indicates that she had be delivered from at least seven demons, and probably this didn't happen all at the same time. Her reputation was so vivid and public as an outcast but very attractive prostitute that it was impossible to not know who she was with most of the people in these stories. Even the soldiers involved in the crucifixion may likely have had previous encounters with her or had at least known others who had. So when Mary showed up at the cross openly supportive of Jesus, the inferences about their relationship could not be overlooked by a crowd eager to discredit Him.

As is very often the case, even after a public conversion such as Mary experienced, people of this reputation or other similar ones find it nearly impossible to have their own reputations altered in public opinion, either in or outside the group of people claiming to follow God. As the philosophy of AA insists (though I challenge its validity strongly), once a problem has taken over one's life and given them its identity, they must always view themselves with that identity. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic, even if one never takes another drink. And the same kind of logic applies in some people's thinking about a loose woman. While there may be good reasons to be extra careful and on guard and be willing to always acknowledge one's weaknesses, I believe there should come a point when both the person themselves and true God-followers around them must allow the new identity of Jesus to preempt the reputation of any sinner that once marked their previous life. But I digress a little here.

Assuming that Mary was so distraught that she likely could not sleep much that night, she for whatever reason decides to the risk of venturing to get close to the tomb where her absolute best Friend has been laid after a very cruel death. The memories of the abuse and shame that Jesus had suffered the last few hours of His life were vividly circulating in her mind and she simply loved Him too much to stay away despite any dangers that might be involved in getting close to Him. After all, there was a dangerous group of uncouth men stationed around His tomb, and it also was very late at night. But in spite of all this, she must have decided that it was worth the risk to be misunderstood or even suffer abuse herself if only she could just be close to where His body was lying in the grave.

This may have been at least some of the context of what was going on in her thinking as she gave up any further attempts to rest and slipped through the night toward where the soldiers were stationed watching for any suspicious intruders. I wonder – did she encounter any of the fleeing soldiers as they raced toward the city early that morning in terror after encountering messengers from outer space, interrupting their orders from earthly authorities? Or did her timing miss all the excitement? Did she feel the earthquake when the angel confronted the soldiers, overwhelmed them with the glory of God and knocked the heavy stone away from the opening like a pebble only to sit on it in triumph? We don't know exactly what she experienced or missed along the way.

I wonder if maybe she had finally fallen into a fitful sleep that night only to be awakened by the earthquake. I suspect possibly most people in the area may have felt the earthquake and had been jolted awake with more terror. An earthquake had marked the death of Jesus striking fear and foreboding into the hearts of many of His enemies. Now another earthquake rocks the countryside as again God intervenes in the diabolical plans of His enemies to confirm some of the most important evidence vindicating His reputation by calling Jesus to raise Himself up and leave the tomb victorious over death. This earthquake likely struck fear in nearly every human who experienced it, yet from heaven's perspective it was more like the triumphal singing that the shepherds listened to at His birth that also produced a lot of fear. Yet each time it was actually a celebration of God's emerging victory over the lies and works of His archenemy that have caused so much havoc throughout the universe.

We have little idea where Mary was coming from. Did she go back to Bethany to her home over the Sabbath? That would make sense since it was not all that far from Jerusalem where all of this was taking place. Most likely she would not have been allowed to stay with the disciples overnight as they cowered in the upper room, yet she seemed quite aware of their whereabouts. So if she was coming from her home in Bethany and had decided to go to the tomb after being jolted awake by the earthquake, that might imply that all the commotion with the soldiers being humiliated and fleeing from their post of duty had all been completed before she would have arrived from that distance.

From the accounts of several writers, Mary seemed to be operating alone at this time. She did not come together with other women, though their timing may have not been too far apart. I would suspect that the other women involved shared many of Mary's emotions, all rather different from what the men were focused on at the time. In this time of crisis it appears clear that it was only the women who seemed fearless enough to go to the tomb despite all the intimidations created by the chauvinistic authorities of the political systems in power. It was only the women who were willing to act from their hearts and take risks both physically and even with their reputations to come to the tomb to see what they might be able to accomplish out of love for their Beloved Friend no matter what they might encounter there. But the stories seem to indicate that Mary had not coordinated her plans with anyone else but was simply acting from her own heart irregardless of what her head might deem prudent.

But then isn't this just like Mary to do anyway? Anyone familiar with most of the stories of her encounters with Jesus could easily see that pattern in Mary's life. In my thinking Mary was a woman of women, not in that she was virtuous and graceful but that she was so attractive and had such natural magnetism that she easily became a prime target for all who were weak toward the temptations to exploit such vulnerabilities. I have occasionally seen women who reminded me of what I think Mary must have been like, not in that they were loose or seductive intentionally, but women who had such a brilliant sparkle in their eyes and a natural, even unconscious magnetism about their very presence that they were like a powerful drug affecting nearly every male who encountered them.

Many view this kind of attraction as sinful, but I don't buy that line. I believe that God endowed the female side of our species with attractions that are designed to complement the male side in such a way as to bond the two together inseparably when both are living in God's plan for their lives. Sin has so distorted our thinking and perverted our assumptions that much of what God designed to be experienced as intense pleasure and joy in His family is now viewed largely as coming from Satan. This is very sad but is most often reinforced by religion everywhere.

Jesus' reputation had been increasingly tarnished by His free and open association with Mary, allowing her access to His presence in violation of many of the traditions of culture. He scandalized even some of His own followers by going so far as to vigorously defend her impulsive, shocking outbursts of intimate affection even on His body. Jesus knew that by allowing this woman of ill-repute to openly shower Him with love and affection in public, that He was creating enormous potential for doubt that would only reinforce insinuations about His own character. Yet He did it anyway, for in the kingdom of heaven what is considered most valuable is often at very sharp odds with what we consider highest priorities.

I am not sure what jarred Mary out of her fear and musings when she stumbled upon the tomb and found it both unguarded and abandoned, but also with the large, heavy stone that promised to keep her away from the body of her Beloved lying completely away from the opening to the tomb. Everything that she had expected to find was missing or out of place. How was she to interpret all of this shocking evidence? What was she to make of this? Being much more emotional than rational as she was, it is hard to determine just what went through her mind at that moment.

But then again, maybe that is why she decided to go get some of her most trusted male friends involved in this new mystery. Maybe she assumed they might be able to think more clearly or might have important additional information that could explain all these developments.

According to her excited but distressed exclamations to Peter and John, she assumed that someone, maybe the soldiers or the diabolical, plotting authorities who had initiated all of this tragedy to start with, must have removed the body of Jesus, possibly to confuse or even further distress His followers. She may have assumed that they had decided it was not enough to simply torture and shame and kill the Man who had done so much to salvage and restore love into her life and had saved so many others; now they had to add insult to injury by playing engaging in even more evil politics and 'turn the knife' so to speak by insulting or hiding the dead body of their beloved Master.

What did she think Peter and John might do about it? Maybe she didn't have any idea what they might do but was simply acting out of intensified grief and desperation. But I also wonder if she had not originally desired to speak only to John alone as she may have come to feel that he was a most sensitive disciple among the twelve that she could trust with her heart without fear of being shamed. But when she arrived to find John, she found that he was acting like Jesus, by not allowing a severely depressed Peter out of his presence to possibly commit suicide. I have long believed that Peter was so depressed by his denial of Jesus that the other disciples had to take the initiative to watch him very closely for a time lest he slip away and take his own life like Judas had done. That's my personal opinion anyway and it seems to be corroborated by some of the evidence I have examined elsewhere.

So now Mary has to spill her guts to both Peter and John even though I suspect she didn't completely comfortable with the rather reactive Peter but had little choice by this time. But as is often the case, when looking back we see that God has details carefully planned in amazing ways we might never think of doing. Maybe Peter needed to get his mind off himself and awaken his heart to an awareness of how others were feeling or even get in touch with his own deep affection for Jesus that he had long kept suppressed under chauvinistic fears. Maybe Peter and Mary perfectly complimented each other at this time and God knew that both of them could be just what the other needed in that moment.

There is of course, much more to this story filled with excitement and drama. But I want to stop here and encourage my own heart to marinate in these thoughts to allow them to continue the transformation that I need to keep experiencing. I have many times been jealous of Mary and her ability to be so open, affectionate and transparent. Yet I know that my own fears and even maleness prevents me from living in that way readily.

Instead, I find myself much closer to being able to identify with the brash and impulsive Peter, though I don't think I am usually quite as outspoken as he often was. But I am certainly capable. At the same time I long to enter into the kind of intimacy and deep appreciation for the passionate love of Jesus that John seems to have acquired. So far I feel like I have only caught hints of what it must be like to feel the way John and Mary did about Jesus. And yet I also sense that sooner or later all of God's true children must enter into something like what these two enjoyed if we are ever to be prepared to live in the (dangerous) intensity of the kind of passionate love He has for each one of us. I pray and plead with God to heal my own heart so that I can quit resisting His transforming work in my life and draw me into the kind of passion that I catch a glimpse of occasionally in these stories from His friends in the past.

When All is Accomplished

...I lay down My life so that I may take it again. No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father. (John 10:17-18)

Did Jesus die the Second Death? What is the Second Death? What parameters do we use to define that term? Are we willing to reexamine our assumptions about it in the light of emerging truths and new insights?

Our assumptions about just how the lost will die in the end, and particularly why they will die, makes an enormous impact on how we are willing to honestly examine our definitions of the Second Death. As long as we cling to suspicious notions about an angry, vengeful God waiting to execute people punitively to get even for the damage that sinners have caused, it will be impossible to objectively look at this issue and come up with anything outside the traditions of men and even doctrines of demons. Not until we first get on the right track about the nature of our Father in heaven can we approach this topic with new eyes to see glorious truths in this that we never imagined were possible.

While I am still learning much about this myself and want to remain open to be teachable by the right Spirit, the more I learn the more sense it makes and the more attractive God is becoming to my heart. Jesus said that if He was lifted up He would draw all to Himself. Far too long we have lifted up what I have to believe are doctrines of demons – lies about our loving God – in attempts to frighten people into what we supposed was salvation. But I am seeing more clearly that using methods of Satan in trying to work for God only distorts our views of God while failing to free us in the ways Jesus explicitly wants to do.

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil. Those include lies and deceptions that have kept us afraid of God, believing that He has a character more reflective of Satan's character than what Jesus came to reveal. Those works also include the suffering, pain, suspicion, fear and abuse that has all resulted from living out the lies we have grown up with or embraced. The writer of Hebrews makes it very clear what the real mission of Jesus was by explaining it this way:

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. (Hebrews 2:14-15)

What might we learn about the Second Death from the death of Jesus? Many have come to see that the kind of death God was talking about when He warned Adam and Eve against eating of the wrong tree in the Garden was never experienced by anyone until Jesus died. Yet at the same time there is much debate about whether the death of Jesus can be called the Second Death or not. Again, I am not wanting to revisit the issue of what model of atonement we believe, though that is a topic outside of this discussion that has great bearing on whether this will even begin to make sense or not. If we are still caught in any form of appeasement model, then all of this will simply sound like either nonsense or flagrant heresy. Right now I am only seeking to express something coming to my attention firmly within the model of salvation where Jesus and the Father are in no way in tension with each other.

I am currently reading very slowly through the crucifixion story seeking to perceive things I have never been allowed to see before because of my lifelong confusion from false models of salvation in which I was trained. Now after recent years of dramatic changes in the way I view God and His methods, I feel somewhat enabled to begin reexamining this story that has seldom made much sense to me before. And as I suspected, everything is coming up fresh and new and full of significance and new light. But I wasn't looking to discover more insights about the Second Death until yesterday when I heard something about this from a teacher that has contributed much to my current understandings of salvation. When I heard this insight it really caught my attention because if fits so perfectly into everything else I have been learning about God in recent years.

Understanding the truth about how the unsaved lose their lives in the end in parallel with how Jesus died are inextricably connected for many reasons. At the same time I have heard a number of debates as to whether or not it is right to view the death of Jesus as the Second Death. The main reason for reluctance to understand it that way is usually a definition applied to the Second Death as one from which there is no possibility of resurrection. That sounds plausible on the surface, but as I examine all four references to the Second Death, found only in the book of Revelation, I find nothing saying that there is no resurrection possible. The strongest statement that might be used to imply such a conclusion is that death and hades (the grave) are thrown into the lake of fire.

Again, this issue must be approached with openness, humility and a genuine desire to see things from God's perspective and with a healthy appreciation for the real truth about His character or all of this will sound like irrelevant speculation. If what I am saying sounds like that I would suggest you leave off reading this right now. But for those with a hunger to look further for more consistent answers that fit with everything else God has been revealing to many of us recently, I invite you to at least ponder this following proposition objectively, laying aside preconceived opinions at least temporarily.

Just for the purpose of exploring a different way of approaching this issue, let me suggest starting with Jesus as the standard of measurement or definition – the only safe example to use to unpack the definition of the Second Death. I did this years ago to look for a definition of temptation and discovered surprising insights that revolutionized my appreciation for the real nature of temptations. Now I see the similar usefulness for this issue. By taking the words and experience of Jesus and giving Him the freedom to define truth, I believe there is better potential for seeing things in new ways that are impossible when we only approach them with our perspective.

As quoted at the beginning, Jesus clearly said that no one took His life from Him (not even the Father); He was the one who would lay it down and He would be the one who would pick it back up. This alone is startling if taken seriously, for most people believe that Jesus was killed by others. And while it is true that He made Himself vulnerable to the assaults of sinful beings both human and demonic, it seems to me that if it were not for the supernatural empowerment of His human body it would have been very likely He could not have even lived past the several beatings that He suffered, at least according to many experts. The fact that He lived as long as He did, even past the trauma He endured in the garden of Gethsemane, is very likely a miracle itself.

So what is becoming clearer to me is that Jesus really meant what He said when He insisted that it would be His choice as to when He would die, not someone else's. And as I was just reading this story in the book of John, only when Jesus knew that all things had been accomplished did He then choose to give up His Spirit and allow His body to die.

I find this phrase highly significant, especially as it is linked to similar phrases from other places in this gospel. John had what seem to be many 'inside scoops' on the plan of salvation that too often go unnoticed by the majority because of their dark views of God that blind them to what was really going on with Jesus and His sacrifice. But when we are willing to challenge our assumptions and allow God to increase the light in our souls, there are many things He is eager to reveal to those hungry to know Him and see His amazing plan of redemption more clearly.

This issue of timing is one of the running themes I see throughout the gospel of John that is very helpful for grasping the bigger picture. And seeing the life and death of Jesus from the larger perspective is vital if we are to perceive greater truths to unlock many things that keep confusing us. Here are a few links that I have observed connected with this verse:

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. During supper, the devil having already put into the heart of Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God... (John 13:1-3)

Judas then, having received the Roman cohort and officers from the chief priests and the Pharisees, came there with lanterns and torches and weapons. So Jesus, knowing all the things that were coming upon Him, went forth and said to them, "Whom do you seek?" (John 18:3-4)

After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, to fulfill the Scripture, said, "I am thirsty." (John 19:28)

So, what does this have to do with how the lost will die the Second Death? There is much detail and context to take into account to adequately explain what I am seeing here, an to explain it all would take up far too much space here. But in short (very short), what I am starting to see as a very real possibility, given a correct understanding of the biblical definition of wrath etc., is that as the lost experience the fiery intensity of the passionate love of God (hell) – love that is the exact opposite of what they have insisted on believing about Him all of their lives – they find themselves wrestling against that reality in determined resistance. This resistance becomes so intense that it produces enormous suffering. Jesus described it as weeping and gnashing of teeth.

What is starting to emerge in my understanding is that this torture continues inside of them based on how much resistance against love they have stored up over their lifetime (see Romans 2:5) until at last in defeat, they make the final choice of their own free will that it would be better to lay down their lives in preference to accepting any more grace to keep them alive because of their intense misery of having to live in the presence of those whose spirit they find so reprehensible. (Note also that all the torment suffered in in the presence of the loving Lamb and the selfless, holy angels. Revelation 14:10)

For a number of years now after God broke through to me with the real truth about what happens in hell and captured more of my affections by doing so, I have continued to try to make sense out of more details of this event. This new perspective affirms even more what I originally discovered as well as confirming the truth about freedom that I am coming to see as one of the most central tenants of God's system of government. Satan's counterfeit system relies on force, coercion and deception to maintain control over the minds and hearts of his subjects; but God never indulges in such methods because to resort to intimidation and fear tactics like Satan uses would be to destroy the very atmosphere needed for the kind of love that is the essence of His own character. This is what the entire battle is all about – which system of living can be trusted to hold everything together in the long run.

What is becoming more and more clear to me in what I have been learning lately is that God is not the one who will execute sinners. The problem remaining however for many entertaining this new idea is how to better explain how all of this will transpire without those dark motives on God's part. I received part of my answer to this when God reminded me of something that happened many years ago when I got an actual taste of the real experience called hell. I suddenly realized that the suffering in hell actually results from an intense torment produced when one resists selfless love. God used that experience to enlighten me as to how the lost will feel tortured in the end, but not because in any way He is inflicting on them but because they have destroyed their capacity to allow His love for them to change them. That very act of resistance is what produces all of their pain and suffering.

In addition, I realized that the reason the lost suffer different lengths of time than others is because their own free will determines how long they will fight love. And that is determined in large part by how insistent and deeply entrenched they have become in the lies they cling to about the nature of God and His feelings towards them. As long as they cling to a belief in their heart that God is the problem and it is He who is at fault for their torture, they will continue to suffer. But when they let go of every last excuse and realize that to remain alive requires continuing to live in the atmosphere of pure love, both from God and from all those who are now embracing His love for them, at that point they come to freely choose to ask God to release them – hand them over (the biblical definition of our word wrath) – and God will do what is termed His strange act by respecting their choice to disconnect from Him who is the only Source of life that exists.

This gives interesting significance to the phrase John used concerning Jesus just before He gave up His own life by freely laying it down. ...all things had already been accomplished... When I apply this to the next time this kind of death shows up, the Second Death, it looks like it could again apply with stunning accuracy. God's great purpose in the plan of redemption, besides saving as many as are willing to let His love flow through them, is to fully vindicate His reputation. When this is accomplished without ever resorting to using any of Satan's alternative methods, then all things will have been fully accomplished and it will be fully seen by all that God's love is the only source of life that there is and to live apart from His love is to not live at all.

When this great plan of God is fully accomplished – and that comes about in the last solution that fully resolves every doubt and question about God's integrity forever – then it will be completely plain that God has always been consistently fair and has never once resorted to employing any of Satan's methods to accomplish His purposes. God never uses force against the will of others; God does not rely on fear or threats of punishment or artificial impositions of force to manipulate His subjects, and He does not need to for built into the natural cause and effect principles upon which everything operates He has installed all the consequences with no need for outside enforcement. God's system is all based on love and love alone, and our problem of perceiving this is because we are coming from confused backgrounds about what is real and true. It is us who are the ones in desperate need of changing how we think about God's ways of love and how life can only exist in the atmosphere of perfect freedom.

It is when this grand truth about reality is at last accepted fully by each person who has destroyed their own capacity to live in love that they finally choose eternal death instead of life. This likely will occur when, like Jesus, they finally see how God has fully accomplished all things including the vindication of the truth about His character. As every sinner including Satan Himself comes to agree fully that God is love and in Him is no darkness at all, can the controversy be finally resolved without God ever having fired a shot. This is what I think may be the real meaning of all things being accomplished in the final analysis.

Sin in its simplest explanation is distrust with all of the consequent effects of disconnecting from God, the only source of love and life. This is why sin results in death, for death is simply a label used for the absence of life. God longs for every created being to live and thrive in His love, for He entertains no animosity towards any of His children despite all accusations to the contrary by His enemies. But He also knows that freedom is the only atmosphere in which true life-giving love can exist, so for all those who demand to remain outside the parameters that govern life He gives them His respect by at last handing them over to the natural effect of their lifelong choices to be incompatible with Life.

In no way should God ever be charged with imposing punitive suffering on those who are at last lost. Letting them go is a deeply painful act for the heart of God who loves them with a passionate, everlasting kind of love that we cannot begin to even imagine. But as each of those who are lost one by one beg Him to let them die instead of living in the only atmosphere left in the universe – pure, selfless, love and care and affection – the only the loving thing left to do to respect their choice and allow them to end their suffering through choosing eternal extinction over living in the presence of Life itself. The stunning part of this for me is that when I allow the description of Jesus' death to reveal how the lost will die, I am starting to see that they too may choose to lay down their life, only they cannot take it up again like He could. Their reasons for laying it down will be very different than His, but in seeing that it is their choice and not God's it makes all the difference in the world in how we view God's part in all of this.

So how does this affect the definition of the Second Death as one from which no resurrection is possible? First, I can't find that definition in the Bible. However, something Jesus said gives me a very strong clue as to why it is very possible that Jesus indeed died the Second Death and yet was resurrected while the lost die the Second Death and never live again. Note the passage at the beginning of this and think about it carefully. The difference between Jesus and everyone else is that Jesus is both human and divine, and He is the resurrection Himself. It is true that Jesus laid down His human body in death and even surrendered His divinity in total submission to His Father's will in the grave. But because Jesus in His divine nature never actually died (for that would be impossible), then when God informed Him that He was free to rise again,, Jesus Himself acted with His own power to take up His human life again, though with a glorified human body this time.

But here is where the significant difference shows up between Jesus and all others who die the Second Death. No one else has the power to raise themselves again like Jesus, so they hopelessly remain dead for eternity. And the only reason that Jesus did not do the same is for at least two reasons: He was completely innocent of any offense or sin that might be 'legally' used to keep Him in the grave, and He had internal power (even though fully surrendered to His Father) to reverse His condition after death, unlike any others who will at last die that same kind of death.

This not only gives me compelling insights about the death of the wicked, but even more importantly urges me to appreciate much more the potential each one of us has to enter fully into the experience described as being in Christ. The New Testament is full of glorious insights about the privilege offered to every one of us to live in Christ and thus to also participate in the power of His resurrection. But that is a compelling topic that must wait for more time and space than what I allow myself right here.

Why Ask Why?

"Why do you question Me? Question those who have heard what I spoke to them; they know what I said."

"If I have spoken wrongly, testify of the wrong; but if rightly, why do you strike Me?" (John 18:21, 23)

One of the most intense questions that so often emerges when a crisis strikes is the 'why' question. We are all familiar with them of course and likely find ourselves asking them either openly or secretly deep in our hearts. But the 'why' questions are unavoidable if we are in touch with reality and have any sense of fairness in our souls.

I have been thinking about this for some time and am coming to believe that every 'why' question can be traced back to a single root – is God really fair or not? I know that many would deny that their questions may have anything at all to do with God, but I am convinced that if examined long enough and honestly enough that every question along this line eventually ends up inferring that the ultimate Originator of everything is to blame for all the pain, suffering, confusion and evil that we experience.

Ever since our psyche was infected with lies about God that resulted in what we call our sinful nature, we feel compelled to ask the 'why' questions. We may piously avoid verbalizing them or we might suppress them for a time, but I sense that deep inside, our natural reaction to look for someone to blame for the unfairness, injustice and tragedies that we are exposed to is unavoidable. This was the reaction of our first original parents when God showed up to sort things out after they sinned. Both of them immediately began to blame someone else for their problems and nothing has changed much since then. Now our distorted idea of justice assumes that someone must be blamed and punished for all the bad things going on while at the same time we naturally try to avoid any personal responsibility for our own part in all this dysfunction.

We gravitate in this direction because our hearts are certain that God must be at least somewhat like what He has been represented to be by His enemy; as stern, harsh, severe, waiting to punish violators of His rules and eager to blame us for our problems. We are afraid of the accusations and threats we are sure emanate from His throne against all who don't cooperate with His way of doing things, so we instantly try to shift the attention somewhere else to avoid the expected punishments. We are also very doubtful about how forgiving He really is because we have been led to believe that He takes great offense over our mistakes and violations of His laws and holds onto those offenses until we do enough repentance, confession and/or any other number of requirements to induce Him to let go of the grudges we are sure He is holding against us. But all of these opinions are actually a mirage, foreign to what is really going on from the perspective of heaven.

Jesus had no such delusions about God's heart towards humanity. Jesus had a clear view of the real truth of how God feels towards sinners and He reflected that consistently all throughout His life on earth in all His dealings with those with whom He came in contact. The clearest demonstration of this attitude of God towards sinners took place in the events that transpired just before His death on the cross. The verses above occurred while Jesus was being confronted by an extremely corrupt high priest during His illegal trial in which justice of any kind was markedly absent. Yet these 'why' questions Jesus posed did not reflect the same motives that would likely be present if we found ourselves in those sorts of circumstances. When Jesus asked 'why', He had something distinctly different in mind than what motivates most of our 'why' questions. But that will be hard to grasp until we first challenge our assumptions about how Jesus was feeling during these experiences of ill-treatment and extreme abuse.

It is all too easy to project our own natural reactions into this story when we read of how Jesus acted under injustice. But to do so is to guarantee false conclusions about what the cross of Jesus truly revealed. It is impossible to understand this revelation of God's true character and feelings towards sinners as long as we project sinner's motives and perspectives into the story and assume that Jesus had similar reactions to what we would have. Only as we come to separate our natural impulses and reactions from what Jesus was actually feeling – motives consistent with all the rest of His life and all of His teachings about the Kingdom of Heaven – can we begin to discern better what was really going on in this story. But when we do begin to discern the truth here, it in turn will enormously change both the way we see God as well as the way we see our own circumstances that prompt us to ask 'why'.

As I have already pointed out, we ask our 'why' questions generally from intense questions about the fairness of God when everything is obviously unfair. Our 'why' questions also involve wondering why God does not utilize some of His infinite power to prevent or stop suffering, pain, evil and injustice. Our mistaken beliefs about justice based on the dualistic system we inherited from the Tree of Good and Evil has led us not so much to question why evil people suffer – we assume that is generally fair; but we very much question why apparently good people or innocent victims seem to go unaided, undefended and unprotected from horrible evils, abuse, exploitation, suffering and tragic deaths. At times like this we can't help but wonder why a professedly 'good God' doesn't stand up and simply use His advantage of superior force to alter situations so 'justice' can prevail.

As my understanding of the real definition of 'justice' and many other word concepts have dramatically altered over recent years, so too has my ability to see the cross radically different than ever before. Now I am beginning to see things completely different taking place in this exposé of the real truth about God and what is going on with sin like I have never seen before. Now I better appreciate why the most innocent Person in the history of mankind willingly allowed the most wicked and evil men and even demons to assault and exploit Him with anything and everything they could invent to try to induce Jesus to even for a moment feel resentful or want revenge.

I am starting to believe that one of the most important passages in the entire Bible is the observation by Peter that more explicitly explains the real issues at the cross that humanity has missed for centuries. It is the key that unlocks the real truth of the revelation of God's character that Jesus came to reveal and that Satan has done everything to obscure. It exposes the real truth about what transpired between God's goodness and Satan's evil as they faced off at the cross of Christ.

Christ never committed any sin. He never spoke deceitfully. Although he was abused, he never tried to get even, when he suffered, he threatened no retaliation, but left everything to the one who judges fairly.

One of the main issues exposed at the cross was to address the very questions we can't help but feel every time we encounter injustice and insane evil. Our questions about God's fairness and His seeming unwillingness to tap into His supreme power to intervene in the behalf of victims are met at the cross. But if we don't comprehend why Jesus did what He did there, or why He asked His own 'why' questions, we will remain confused about the stupendous answers inherent in the revelation of the cross. As long as we in the slightest way assume that God was somehow complicit in the evil Jesus suffered, we remain infected with the lies of the enemy and continue to block the truth of the cross from entering our own hearts. Only as we begin to grasp what Peter saw so clearly, the truth that radically transformed Peter himself, can we begin to experience the real power of the gospel.

So if Jesus was not asking 'why' in the same way we would likely express it under similar circumstances, what was going on in Him heart when He confronted those abusing Him with His direct questions as to why they were treating Him the way they were?

When Jesus asked Caiaphas His 'why' question and when He then asked the the officer who struck Him on the face 'why' he had hit Him, Jesus was not asking in a spirit of resentment as we often so easily assume. Keeping Peter's comment clearly in mind as we read this will prove to be extremely instructive. Yet I have not been able to see this until very recently and only then because for many years God has been cleaning out myriads of lies in my own thinking about what really took place at the cross as well as revealing to my heart the real truth about how He feels about me. As the dark cloud of deception and misinformation about God is slowly dissipating, I am beginning to see startling truths emerging from the fog that are life-changing and exciting. Now I long to see much more truth, for the real truth about God is so dramatic that it has power to neutralize all my fear and to answer all the questions that have defied answers for most of my life.

As I now see Jesus being consistent in these circumstances with His attitude from all of His previous ministry, I can begin to discern that His 'why' question to Caiaphas came from a motive of deep desire to awaken a different spirit within that wicked high priest in one last attempt to draw him back from horrific natural consequences that he would be sure to experience if he proceeded on the path he was traveling by the decisions he was making. Caiaphas still had opportunity to change direction and be saved from being complicit in high treason against the King of the Universe by murdering the Son of God. Jesus wanted to save this man from Satan's grasp just as much as He wanted to save Mary and everyone else. It was in this context that Jesus asked him to examine his motives and methods.

Likewise, when the officer struck Jesus in the face for allegedly disrespecting the high priest, Jesus question highlighted the fact that all of the proceedings taking place there were completely illegitimate as far as justice was concerned. It is totally unfair to punish anyone without cause, and the supposed cause for slapping Jesus in the face was a complete fabrication in the minds of jealous men hungry for power and with no concern for justice. Jesus was pointing out that they needed to reconsider their course of action. He was exposing the stark contrast between His humble, truthful demeanor and their flagrant violations of all standards of behavior and justice.

Jesus also wanted to inject an awareness of true reality into the midst of what was quickly becoming surreal in this mock trial. They were attempting to find a way to kill Jesus without having their own corruption exposed. Yet in every advancing step the pure innocence of Jesus in contrast to their own vile characters was only becoming more and more obvious. Justice demanded that a person being accused be given the right to have a number of witnesses give first-hand testimony to corroborate or dispute the charges against them. But in this case the hatred of His enemies was so intense that they were willing to resort to any deception or fraud to accomplish their diabolical passion to exterminate the witness of Jesus in God's favor.

Yet in spite of all this glaring injustice, Jesus never failed to keep acting like Himself; He never resorted to deception or self-defense as they sought to force Him to do. Instead, Jesus knew that all of this was meant to expose all the lies of the enemy as the real truth about God's good character was to be exposed amidst the deepest darkness produced by Satan's fraudulent system.

God's system of operating in contrast to Satan's counterfeit system was represented in Eden by the Tree of Life. When the two systems faced off in the most titanic battle for legitimacy during these hours leading up to the cross, Jesus again represented God's system as only life-giving as the ultimate Light-bearer. Ironically His arch-enemy leading that fierce attack against Him in this grand miscarriage of justice had formerly been known as Lucifer, the Light-bearer in heaven. There is indication that Christ and Lucifer shared very similar positions covering the very throne of the Highest before Lucifer parted ways from Christ and turned myriads of angels sour against the loving government of the Father.

Lucifer's growing intense jealousy of Christ in heaven becomes dramatically exposed as they face off once again in the most dramatic event in all of history. Lucifer's charges over the true nature and character of God came to fruition when he exploited his advantage over Jesus as a human being. This caused Satan, the great accuser of God and Christ, to insanely attack Jesus by every means possible in a desperate attempt to induce Him to entertain in the slightest way some motive that Satan had insisted was lurking in the heart of God. If Satan could get Jesus as God's representative to indulge even for a moment to embrace any of Satan's motives, he could claim that his charges against God were vindicated and he would leverage this to convince the universe that his accusations were true.

The test on Jesus was far more close and severe than any of us can even begin to imagine. The problem has long been however, that what we have long assumed Jesus was tested over has misled us into actually reinforcing lies of Satan about God rather than exposing the truth about God that Jesus came to reveal. The early Christians had a real appreciation of this core truth which is what gave them such irresistible power as they spread the gospel about God to a hungry, hurting world. But a few hundred years after the cross Satan once again masked over this stunning revelation of God in Jesus with myriads of new lies about Him, so now we are left once again in the deep darkness of misapprehensions and fears about how God feels about sinners.

Gratefully what I am starting to see today is a new leaking out of the intense glory of God as prophesied in the first few verses of Revelation 18. Once again the real truth about God will be fully exposed to a skeptical world embracing lies about Him largely enforced by the dogmas of religion. People everywhere are beginning to awaken to the Holy Spirit's promptings to reexamine the testimony of the Word and are coming alive as they discover that religion has misled them and the real truth of Jesus is far more glorious than they ever dared to imagine.

Seeing this true glory is the effective answer to our 'why' questions, for as we begin to see that God is radically different than what we have always assumed Him to be, our questions are seen as based on invalid assumptions behind our questions. As we see Jesus fully cognizant of His unlimited access to infinite power, yet never using it to force God's will on anyone even in the most desperate of situations to avoid any amount of pain or suffering to Himself, we can begin to see that God will never use His power the way Satan has led us to think He does. Rather, we can begin to see that the real power of God is in His agape love that fiercely protects the freedom of every individual to choose for themselves whom they will follow and obey without any coercion on His part.

Satan never charged that he had more raw power than God. Many suppose that the war between good and evil is over who is the strongest and which side can enforce their ways over the lives of sinners. No, the battle is not over which side has more power to coerce people to follow their way, but rather which system is the right way to live together. Our real choice is between Satan's system based on fear, force, intimidation, laws, deception and self-indulgence or God's self-sacrificing system of perfect agape love, harmony, peace, natural principles and total respect for the right of every being to chose their own way. God's system is superior, but in the meantime it seems to be weak, too mamby-pamby for those addicted to the drug of power. But in these last days it will become clear that though love may be crushed and maligned and discredited more than ever before, love truly is the greatest power.

That is the message of the cross that must be seen undiluted by the lies and insinuations of Satan. It is time to turn away from all other inferences about it involving an offended Deity needing to be appeased. God is love and light and in Him is no darkness at all. When this becomes clear in our hearts, then our 'why' questions can be transformed into humble trust in the only One who is truly fair. Jesus demonstrated this attitude when in the midst of the most extreme unfairness He refused to incriminate His Father but trusted His heart fully even when all the evidence screamed it wasn't so.

He left everything to the one who judges fairly. (1 Peter 2:23)