Bitter Roots in the Landfill

“We don't have problems, we have opportunities”. That was the company line I was given soon after I joined a hand-picked team of designers and engineers at Whirlpool a number of years ago to design a completely, radically different washing machine from scratch. We had been assigned not to just rework or modify any existing design but to think way outside the box and come up with something completely new that would challenge each one of us to the maximum of our creativity. It was one of the most enjoyable jobs I have ever had in my life, primarily because of the freedom to utilize my creativity in teamwork with others who were not afraid of change.

But when we came up with seemingly impossible obstacles in the progress of our design – and that quickly became the norm – we were instructed to view them from the perspective of the old adage quoted at the beginning. We were to change our whole frame of reference, the fundamental way we perceived situations at a deeper level of our mind. This presented some real challenges for me.

My first reaction was one of secret but very intense skepticism. I had not worked there all that long but I was already becoming familiar with the enormous amount of hypocrisy that is so prevalent in the corporate world. It seemed that every few months top management would be taken by the latest craze in the world of motivation and success formulas from expensive corporate consultants and everyone would be required to go through some new intensive mental training program to learn the latest buzzwords and psychological policyspeak until the next consultant guru came along and all of the previous clichés were eclipsed with the latest round of imposed catchphrases.

Needless to say, I quickly caught on that people who had been around for awhile were quite used to all these mind games and had learned to talk the talk simply to keep themselves in favor with those who determined their salary. But they also tended to maintain an inner opinion that was seldom swayed by all the external noise and hoopla. What I found, especially among older engineers was a very deep level of suspicion and doubt about the potential for any real progress which became a problem for me when I wanted to propose radically different approaches to engineering made possible by the rapid advance of computers that they were unfamiliar with.

This problem tended to bring me around full circle to the problem I had myself – very deep-seated skepticism. The first time I heard an engineer declare that we did not have problems, just opportunities inwardly I sneered with contempt. “Yeah, right” I thought, “that's just another cliché we are supposed to spout off. But everyone knows that these are still really problems.” To me this was just another symptom of the pervasive corporate hypocrisy that was becoming apparent to me and in addition it directly crossed my natural skepticism. Insisting that I think and talk about problems as really opportunities not only irritated me a bit but had the potential for creating a spirit of bitterness that I had to keep hidden if I wanted to continue to be a part of this elite team.

So why did this come to my mind this morning? Well, I just read from my morning devotional book about the thousands of hours of painful and intensive training, effort, energy and pain that goes into the execution of just one well-planned successful football maneuver. Much of that training cannot really be considered that much fun while it is being endured, but the ultimate objective when realized brings a great deal of satisfaction and, in this arena, a great deal of glory for a short time. But it is also true that if that training was not willingly endured but was aborted due to the interference of bitterness taking over the mind, the potential champion would not be formed in the mind and body of the athlete and he would be replaced by someone else more willing to endure the hardships of training to achieve the ultimate goal.

It is starting to be even more clear to me the grave dangers of allowing the poison of bitterness to remain in my life. It appears that bitterness may be one of the worst enemies of success, achievement and victory that there is. It suffocates hope, it infects the heart with depression and discouragement, it is debilitating and it weakens friendships. The more I become aware of the symptoms of this poison the more painfully aware I become of the evidence of those symptoms throughout most of my life and my relationships. It is becoming very clear that I desperately need a detox program to rid my system of this pernicious poison. But it has so deeply infected my heart that I cannot do it on my own. I need a really good Doctor as well as skilled medical assistants to help me in my recovery.

What I am learning here in Hebrews 12 is the exposure of more and more roots of bitterness that are grown all through the soil of my life. Trials and discipline have been sources of bitterness for me. Broken promises and neglect, lack of acceptance of love have long been a source of bitterness for me. The unfairness of life and the lies about God that I inherited as well as the ones I developed have been reinforcements of the bitter conclusions that I have often subconsciously drawn about God and His treatment of me. The seeming randomness of evil in this world and the unanswered questions that plague everyone about life are additional fuel for the intensifying of bitterness when they are allowed to fester in my heart. All of these things and more have added together to simmer far beneath the surface in the cesspool of bitterness that has long remained hidden out of sight.

But like any landfill filled with garbage, the unresolved baggage in my heart has not failed to produce the methane gases of bitterness that can seep to the surface at times and produce foul odors and unpleasant relationships. This bad atmosphere has likely kept me at a distance from many that I have longed to connect with at a much deeper level but could never do so, much to my frustration and grief. These events just added to the fuel for the landfill as I tried to bury each succeeding failure and the pain of lost friendships into the growing landfill of my heart that has by now become quite a sizable mountain. What a mess I have. And with roots full of bitterness grown all through this landfill it is no wonder that I have such a difficult time producing decent fruit on the limbs of my external life. The same sap that flows in the roots will eventually feed the fruit as well.

Like Paul I feel very much like crying out, O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:24 NKJV) My only hope is to finish the exclamation with the same conclusion that Paul had to make in the very next words.

Thanks be to God –through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 7:25 - 8:2 NIV)

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Drooping Hands and Weak Knees

Wherefore lift up the hands that hang down, and the palsied knees; and make straight paths for your feet, that that which is lame be not turned out of the way, but rather be healed. Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man shall see the Lord: looking carefully lest there be any man that falleth short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby the many be defiled. (Hebrews 12:12-15 ASV)

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble... (Hebrews 12:12 NAS95)

I was a little baffled by the translation that I study from, the NAS95 quoted last here, until I looked up the original as well as a number of other translations. I believe from looking at all of these that the ASV best describes what the original intent of the text was, especially for verse 12. It also has strong implications of reference to parallel verses in Isaiah that I believe this alludes to. Particularly I think these apply: Isaiah 40:1-11; 42:16 and all of chapter 61.

One of my initial questions is, why does it specifically mention hands and knees?

Lifting hands implies worship and looking to God for strength. If the hands are hanging limp then it may mean that there is discouragement going on and a lack of focusing on Jesus. Most likely if the hands are hanging limp then the head may be hanging down along with them.

What I find when looking at the Greek and even some of the English translations is an implication of lifting up the knees as well as the hangd implying walking, setting out, beginning to move. Putting these two ideas together creates a picture of a person who is simply standing around feeling tired, who has lost heart (v. 3) or grown faint from the unexplainable trials that seem to be plaguing them for no good reason (v. 5-11) The do not realize that their condition of being static in their growth and experience is because they have forgotten the exhortation addressed to them as sons about these experiences (v. 5) and they are not focusing on Jesus (v. 2). Consequently they are standing still on an apparently very rough path that is too difficult and tiring to continue on and are feeling very stuck. (Hey, this is starting to feel all too real and personal.)

Then the text addresses the need for better paths so the weak knees are not twisted by uneven ground. I have many times walked on very rough ground, sometime when hiking on rough terrain and sometimes when working on rough areas planting trees on land that had not been cleared very well. I know the intense frustration of feeling like it took a lot of effort to not make very much progress. I also know that it is not very hard to end up twisting an ankle or even a knee if not being very careful while trying to navigate such terrain. In addition, if I am not in very good physical shape the danger of turning a joint is even greater.

One of the most annoying obstacles and dangers for twisting an ankle or knee is roots that get in the way. They are much worse than fallen sticks because they are anchored into the ground and will not move out of the way when hit with your foot or leg. Consequently they become much more likely to be an occasion for stumbling than most other obstacles. If your foot gets caught underneath one and you can't catch yourself quick enough it can cause serious injury. I can certainly see how roots of bitterness can be a similar cause for problems in my spiritual and social life.

What is it that strengthens and tones up my legs and body so that this danger is lessened? Resistance training (v. 4) that comes from a graduated exercise routine and also learning from experience the coordination necessary to move carefully but swiftly across very rough land or even jumping boulders in canyon creeks.

What I see in this passage is not just an urging to lift up my hands and focus my attention more on God, but also to pick up my weak knees and start moving in some direction so that I will begin making at least some progress away from where I currently am. But in addition to that I also may need to spend some time helping repair the condition of the paths that are so rough for me, paying particular attention to removing the dangerous roots so that others will not be in so much danger of becoming hurt from the confusion and unevenness of the ground. As I help to make the paths straighter and smoother for my own feet I am also helping pave the roads so that others following me may make more efficient progress than what I have experienced. Maybe this hearkens back to 11:39, 40. Both those who go before and those who follow after work together in God's plan so that they all become interconnected with each other to be perfected in the faith of Jesus.

The reason given here for the straightening of the paths is not only to avoid dislocating a knee or twisting an ankle, which could definitely slow down or stop someone's progress, but for healing as well. Healing usually takes time and also therapy many times. It means not overstressing a damaged or weak muscle. My daughter is working in a physical therapy rehab center and tells us many stories of people coming in after operations or accidents and needing muscle and joint rehabilitation and healing. There is a science to this process that she is actually going to school right now to learn. And the same kind of science needs to be applied in our emotional and spiritual healing as well.

So just where is this path leading that needs to be leveled and straightened? What is the direction we are to begin moving while lifting up our limp hands and picking up our knees one after the other? I think maybe the next verse give us some instruction about this.

I see two things in verse 13 as reasons for needing to do all of the above. (1) Pursue peace with all men, and (2) pursue the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. Evidently these two things are considered the main reasons for even participating in this whole operation, the goals of the path that we are choosing to travel with Jesus. I want to spend much more time exploring these two things later.

But most importantly mentioned here, our ultimate goal is to see God. That was the passionate plea of Moses on Mt. Sinai, he wanted to see God's glory, and it has been the underlying hunger of every heart born into this world whether they ever know it or not. Our heart was designed to be connected with God and will never really know full satisfaction with any substitute. Unfortunately many do settle for cheap counterfeits and think that those are the best that can be had. But God is not going to rest until everyone possible has been drawn into His original plan of intimacy with His own heart and they have become filled to overflowing with the immense joy and pleasures that He designed us for.

Then I will go back to my place until they admit their guilt. And they will seek my face; in their misery they will earnestly seek me. (Hosea 5:15 NIV)

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14 NRSV)

"Come," my heart says, "seek his face!" Your face, LORD, do I seek. (Psalms 27:8 NRSV)

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Relating to Discipline

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Hebrews 12:11)

For me to better understand the true meaning of this verse I have to divest myself as much as possible of the context of counterfeit discipline and try to think about how this applies to God's way of discipline. For the way this verse has been taught typically was often as an excuse to justify abusive and self-centered punitive punishments which is what a lot of human discipline involves. That is not to say that humans cannot administer good discipline, I am sure much of it is effective, especially by those who are trying to serve God the best they know how, and that would have to include my own parents. But most of our attempts at discipline are tainted to some degree with the misconceptions about God that we carry in our hearts and to that same degree it corrupts our spirit and the effectiveness of our discipline.

But God's discipline is not tainted in any way and His Spirit knows exactly what our heart needs to correct its perceptions of reality. God's sole purpose in all of His discipline is to restore in us the perfection of the beauty of God that we were designed to reflect. So since that is the real purpose of good discipline then why does it feel sorrowful? And if it says here that it does not seem to be joyful why does James and Jesus tell us to count it all joy whenever we find ourselves in it?

I looked up some of the words in this verse from the Greek to get a taste of what else might be hidden under the English words. I did find some interesting variations that add more dimension. The word for joyful can also include gladness (which is not the same thing), cheerful and calm delight. Actually given my present understanding of the word joy as contrasted with these other words I think the other words might apply better in this verse. In my thinking, joy – when understood as someone being glad to be with me – would be the best antidote or resource that I could turn to whenever I find myself in the circumstances described in this verse. Remembering that I am not alone but that Jesus has promised to never, ever forsake me (13:5, 6) will greatly lessen the pain and fear I might experience in the seeming suffering of God's discipline.

But at the same time, the lack of perception of His presence is actually one of the reasons most of us are so afraid of discipline. Even the faulty type of discipline received from our earthly administrators is made much more painful when it is perceived as a rejection of our value as a person instead of a correction of our course of thinking. When we feel rejected or abandoned the fear and pain are exponential compared to understanding that a given painful experience is meant for our training and comes from someone who still cares deeply about us. In fact, that is one of the greatest faults of most human discipline is the lack of genuine caring and assurance of unconditional love while administering it.

I think it is helpful to compare the ideas of punishment verses coaching. I think it is pretty clear to most thinking people that the way our judicial system punishes all sorts of people for all sorts of infractions of the rules by dumping all of them into a common prison and treating them almost like animals is not conducive to improving their characters. That is mindless, generally vengeful-type punishment as does not usually encourage maturity and growth in the character of the person thus abused. It may produce a great deal of pain and shame but not anything approximating righteousness.

On the other hand, if you look at a sports team whose goal is to develop skill, endurance, cooperation and strength in the minds and bodies of a group of people, the coach is the most important person to coordinate that process and bring that team to victory. Much of the training may feel very painful at times both physically and even mentally, but if it is clear in the minds of the players that the coach really cares about them as a person and is pushing them only for their best good, it is much easier for them to look past the present discomfort and keep their minds focused on the “joy that is set before them” (12:2) in victory. This is really the essence of the message contained in this verse.

If we have been conditioned by our experiences with counterfeit or faulty human discipline to feel abandoned and rejected or even attacked every time we experienced correction, then it makes it much more difficult to believe that God does not treat us the same way in His process of correction and training. Most likely it will require some deep healing of beliefs and assumptions that presently poison our perceptions about authority from previous bad experiences before we will can come to trust that God will not abuse His authority in our lives like others have done to us.

But it still remains that, for whatever reasons involved, discipline and correction are going to make it seem like we are being mistreated, abandoned, rejected or whatever other feelings are triggered from past experiences or suggested by the enemy. In fact it is to flush out these faulty notions that God allows things to happen in our lives. This gives us opportunity to have our faulty thinking and feelings exposed so that we can bring them to Him for truth and healing to replace the lies about Him causing this pain. As I have increasingly seen over the past few years, most pain comes from resistance of some sort. The more we resist the truth about God or the truth about ourselves the more pain we are going to suffer. God's discipline is designed to flush out what we really believe so that it can be replaced with what He really knows and bring us into harmony with Him. The transition process in exchanging these two views of reality is where the pain or sorrow occurs.

It is very helpful to realize that all of God's discipline is for training and never involves punitive punishments. If we ever think that God is punishing us for something we have done wrong by inflicting pain in our lives we are still living under the influence of Satan's lies about God. This is very difficult to accept theologically for many but is something we all need to learn. The Bible makes it very clear that it is sin that pays out wages involving death, not God. Jesus stated unequivocally that He came to give us life and that more abundantly, not condemnation. God's discipline never involves condemnation, and if we think it does we have some serious underlying perceptions about God that need to be exchanged for the glorious truth that He wants us to know. We are still in need of more training and discipline to free us from those ideas.

But all of us are tainted to a great extent with the misconceptions about God that pervade all of humanity. Even those who were closest to God on this earth did not yet have a full appreciation for His goodness enough to make it safe for them to be exposed to His full glory. God had to warn Moses that it was still not safe for him to see God's face. That was because Moses, as much as He knew and loved God, still had fatal flaws in his perceptions about God that would have caused him to self-destruct if exposed to the full glory of God's perfect beauty and passionate love. This is the whole reason for the plan of salvation, to bring as many as possible back into a safe condition so that they can enjoy the unveiled presence of God without any fear or taint of corruption in their minds and hearts.

But in our condition of doubts about God's love for us or good intentions toward us, we are still going to have feelings of apprehension at best, but more like abandonment or rejection whenever we experience discipline. God does not miraculously change our brain to suddenly think differently about Him, that would be a violation of our freedom and God never will do that. He respects us so much that He will only work to attract and prompt us to change our minds and hearts about Him through any means possible other than to use force against our will. So the reality is, we are most likely going to feel some false emotions about our discipline – that is why this verse uses the word seems. And as long as it seems like we are being hurt by God we can know that there are still embedded lies in our hearts that still need to be exposed and healed with truth from our Savior.

I also see in this verse that there is a contrast between the seeming of sorrowfulness and the peaceful fruit of righteousness. That means that quite likely these may be opposites, or at the least the later replaces the former in our hearts. Another insight that I saw when looking at the original words was the meanings for sorrowful. It included not only sadness but the idea of grudgingness and heaviness. I find that very interesting. That means that it may not be so much sorrow that I may sometimes experience but more along the line of a grudging spirit that resists cooperating with God's desire to transform my way of thinking away from what I am used to. That exposes the element of resistance as I was saying before, and resistance when met with increasing pressure always produces heat. And heat when it becomes intense enough produces pain. But that also means that the sooner I choose to release my resistance to whatever God is desiring to do in my heart the less pain I will experience and the sooner I can enjoy the benefits of this training for maturity.

There is a great deal that can be unpacked from this simple phrase, the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I have looked many times at this much-abused word righteousness and still have a lot to learn about it. But I do like the added description given here in the words peaceful and fruit. Both of these words are generally opposite of much of the world's typical religious thinking about what constitutes righteousness but they are very descriptive of God's view of real righteousness. True righteousness is not only produced from a context of peace in the heart that comes from increasing unity with God's heart but is also something that springs up very naturally like a plant that produces fruit without a lot of work on our part.

Along this line I think it is very helpful to remember one of Jesus' story-clips to share the truth about this with us. And He was saying, "The kingdom of God is like a man who casts seed upon the soil; and he goes to bed at night and gets up by day, and the seed sprouts and grows – how, he himself does not know. "The soil produces crops by itself; first the blade, then the head, then the mature grain in the head. "But when the crop permits, he immediately puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come." (Mark 4:26-29)

This kind of righteousness is clearly both peaceful and fruitful but is also very natural. The person himself does not know how the seeds grow, all he can do is observe the growth after the fact and wait for it to mature before trying to work with it. We would do very well to learn this lesson both in the lives of those we work with as well as in our own life. We must trust God to accomplish the miracle of producing righteousness in our lives. And one of the means He uses to do that is His perfect way of discipline, His discipling process.

Again, discipline is best understood when associated with the word disciple. I do not know of any Christians who would not volunteer if given the opportunity to live in the time of Christ and be one of His personal disciples. But really not much has changed. We still have the opportunity to be a disciple of Jesus and interact with Him much like the original disciples did. If we will invite Him to mentor us and then submit to the discipling process we can be just as much disciples as were Peter, John, Philip or any of the others. God is ready to mentor everyone personally if they are willing to allow Him access to their heart so that He can begin His work of rewiring, repair and restoration. That is what this whole business of discipline is all about. It is the plan of salvation being implemented in our lives and hearts.

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Flying Higher

I just finished reading today's devotional reading from a wonderful book called The Gospel From Patmos by John Paulien. It talked about a pilot's experience years ago looking at the top-secret SR-71 up close for the first time and being very disappointed in how badly it leaked and limped while sitting in the hangar. What he found out from the ground crew preparing it to fly was that though it looked very shabby and even disfunctional compared to other planes while sitting on the ground, it was designed in such a way that when it arrived at extremely high altitudes and very high temperatures from extreme speeds that it would function perfectly. The leaks would all stop, the skin would literally grow and tighten up and it would actually become much stronger under those extreme conditions.

What really got my attention was the last paragraph of John's comments.

“God doesn't permit His people to go through trials in order to find out what they are made of. He already knows. But one reason He allows trials is so that we can discover what He has been remaking us to be. As we learn to stay close to God in trial He redesigns us so we can fly higher and faster than we could possible have imagined. If our lives were easier we might never discover the rich fulfillment that comes from soaring at God's altitude.” (p. 53)

I then laid down the book and picked up my Bible to see what God had for me in Hebrews 12. As I opened it the first thing my eyes fell on was, For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. (Hebrews 12:10) I have been looking at this for many days now but suddenly it took on new life.

The whole purpose of God's work in my life is to prepare me to soar in ecstasy at levels of intensity that I cannot now imagine. Living in the presence of God is an overwhelmingly satisfying and exhilarating experience that I have not even tasted yet and can only imagine in the slightest, but it is the ultimate desire and plan of God for my heart. Everything that He allows in my experience is to prepare and shape me to be able to fully participate in this reality with total abandon, freedom and joy. Every pain and tension and problem is God's work to remove the beliefs and false ideas that would cause fatal flaws in my psyche when exposed to the extremes of His high altitude, intense love and presence.

No wonder James declares that we should welcome trials with joy. Jesus told us the same thing. And it does make it easier to do so when I have a better grasp of the bigger picture, the amazing future that God wants me to be an intimate part of in His kingdom.

God, please tune my heart today to be more synchronized with Your heart. Teach me Your ways and let Your will be the story of my life and not my will. Prepare me for the intensity of the joy You are bringing into my life very soon and strip away all the leeches and barnacles and messed up thinking that will endanger my safety when I reach higher speeds. Glorify Your name in my life and through my heart and in my words, attitudes and actions.

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